What silly or ridiculous things did you believe as a child?

things like, kissing makes a woman pregnant, in the past the world was in black & white, god, just to name a few

In God.

that holding up your ring finger was shooting the bird.

I used to think bleshew was a phrase you said after someone sneezed.

That the moon would follow me wherever I went, that my “real parents” were secretly royalty and they would come and find me and bring me back to my castle, and multiple superstitions I still have to this day!

You know that expression “might as well”? My mom always used to say it, but I thought it was a single word spelled “Mitaswul.”

And I thought the Mitaswul were a people.

“Mom, what should we do tonight?”
“Mitaswul go to the movies.”

And I thought we were to follow the ways of the Mitaswul.

My paternal grandmother was really into tanning. She’d spend hours lying outside her Atlantic City apartment, covered in tanning oils. Therefore, she had extremely dark skin, even in comparison to our most olive-skinned Jewish family.

As a young child, I frequently had doubts that she wasn’t my real grandmother. Her skin color led me to believe she was African-American, and we just “adopted” her into our family and called her Grandma. I never wanted to ask anyone, because I loved my grandmother and didn’t want to find out if there was some horrible truth behind this woman.

Years later, I found out my younger sister had similar beliefs.

I really did think moms had eyes on the back of their heads.

Also, my Dad said that he knew someone who lost a thumb from thumb sucking, I believed it and quickly stopped.

My older cousin told me that because my Mom had 4 big boys before giving birth to me, she had no milk left to feed me. He said she hired a black woman to be my wet nurse, and that’s why I have freckles. I beleived him for quite some time. My Mother was really upset with him once she found out, and made him tell me it was a lie, but I didn’t believe the truth!

My parents used to say that if you picked your nose, it would make it grow larger. Hmmmm….....

I was extremely gullible as a kid. I’m still really gullible actually. Here is one (out of many, many, many) stories: I went to visit my uncle in TN and he took me to the forest for a day and night trip. We were setting up a BBQ for dinner and I asked him if there were snakes and bears and he said something along the lines of “Of course, it’s the woods.” So I got all nervous and then he says “Don’t worry about the snakes. Just dig a small ditch around your tent and they can’t get to you cause they’ll break their backs crossing the ditch.” This is when I started digging. And he let me dig for a good 10 minutes or so before he told me he was just kidding. I’m sure he got a good laugh out of the sight of an 8-year-old kid digging a snake trench.

I also use to think you could get pregnant from kissing. The movie Look Who’s Talking did that to me because in the scene where she is kissing that guy in his office it goes directly to her getting pregnant.

I once heard my grandma say “man, every time I breathe in my stomache gets bigger.” Needless to say I watched her very carefully and breathed as little as possible until my dad asked why I was always gasping for air.

I had a chicken and my dad would buy plastic eggs, put toys in them, and then put them under my chicken. I was convinced I had a magical bird that truly laid plastic eggs until my grandma overheard me bragging about it and told me I was way too old to believe such things at 7.

I didn’t know how you got pregnant, but I was pretty sure that the baby burst forth alien style from your swollen stomach and that was why my kindergarten teacher needed 6 weeks off when she had her baby. I was surprised she was able to make it back so soon and let her know.

Also, farts were puff-puffs… which I will gladly pass along to my children cause that is genius.

I used to think every time I masturbated God killed a kitten.

@scamp, that’s hilarious. and so creative.

@funkdaddy, I might have to pass that one along as well!

thanks for the input all, I got some good laughs and many GAs :)

That falling asleep with my arm outside the covers would result in being mauled by the boogeyman that undoubtedly lived in my closet.

When we were really little, my best friend told me that a “cheese snake” lived in my back yard. I always imagined it being made out of striped layers of cheesecake.

i use to think that the witch on the wizard of oz was real and was flying around my house.

That my parents actually cared about me.

That the bogey man hung outside my bedroom window waiting for me to fall asleep. I would knock on the window frame so he’d fall and I’d be safe…until the next night!

I thought that if I cut my Barbie’s hair that it would grow back, because I saw one of those bust models in a commercial, and they cut her hair, so why couldn’t I do it too? lol Oh, and the kill a spider and it would rain, or kill a bee and it would sunshine.

I used to think that when you ate food, it stacked up inside you until it got to your head and stretched you taller, and that’s how you grew.

@jp – Is that true? How sad…

I used to think that if I left my bed at night without carrying an object that belonged to me, something would attack me. Upon reflection, this may have come from a Bill Cosby skit I heard as a youngster.

If I killed a spider its family would come and kill me.

I used to think that there were little tiny men inside my body making everything work and they would fight of the bad germs and stuff…. haha.
And that there were two witches living under my bed that used my coughs to make their spells…
And that my grandparents were friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger. They have this picture with his arms around them but it’s fake and I never ever worked it out, I actually just forgot about it for a long time until the other day BAM it just suddenly all came rushing back and I realised :P

I used to believe that if I shut the lights out and was not under my covers the “monsters” could get me.

Every time the hot water heater would make that loud noise, I thought it woke up an alien in my laundry room in the basement where I slept.

I believed my stuffed animals had feelings and could talk, and played in my room when I was not looking.

I could never have my feet hang off the bed in fear of something grabbing them and pulling me under.

I had a bunk bed for the longest time refusing to sleep on a lower bed in
fear of monsters.

oh my goodness Trance24, that is alot of worring. how is your tummy? do you have ulcers? LOL!

I was convinced that my parents were trying to kill me.

oh my you poor thing. i am glad to see that you was wrong about that.:)

Growing up with just a mother, then with a stepfather, I was certain that my ‘real father’ was some wealthy man that would come rescue me some day. I met him when I was 18 years old…he was just a man. My stepfather is my real dad, to me : )

I had one of those dolls with a cloth body sewn or glued to plastic head. I loved that doll. Until the day I killed her. Or I thought I did. Her head fell off. Major trauma.

I used to think that if you followed all the rules and worked hard, and were good, all would be well. Life isn’t that easy or fair.

I thought my mother was telling me the truth, even though she very, very clearly wasn’t.
But I wanted to think she was, so I divided my brain up into sections and it is still
full of sheetrock and studs. No, not that kind of studs.

My grandma told me not to ever put my arm out the car window while driving because that’s how people get their arms chopped off… So I thought she meant someone chopped it off with a big butcher knife or something. I always had this vision in my head of a car driving around looking for people with their arms out the windows and a person in it with a really big butcher knife.

I also firmly believed in fairies.

Oh yes, I used to have a fairy at the bottom of my garden, and she used to write me tiny little letters and tell me about her adventures. And there was a Granny fairy at the bottom of my gran’s garden and they were friends with the tooth fairy. That is til I found the coloured paper cuttings and glitter on my mum’s desk.

Oh, but what a sweet thing for your mom to do!

Yes, she and my sister kept it up for years, and of course my gran was it cahoots with them. Once I didn’t get letters for a long time (I guess mum must have been busy and stuff) but the next time I did get one they had written this fantastic story about how the poor fairy had been caught in my Dad’s suitcase when he went to East Timor with the army and how she had to make her way back home and animals had to help. I loved it!

@jesseturtle: me too!!!

They are making out in his office and then you see the sperm swimming to the egg! I thought that is how you passed along the sperm from man to woman!

This post it making me seriously LOL. and i hate the expression of LOL

@generalspecific Thanks! I still have a scar on my arm from trying to “pick” off the freckles!!

@scamp – love that story, thanks for sharing that!!!

I believed Pluto was a planet. hmphhhhhhhhh yes, i am still bitter about that

Devi == the inspiration behind xkcd.

@rob—haha had to lurve ya for that :)

@forestGeek , you’re welcome! I loved your story also. My daughter thought I had eyes in the back of my head too

stork, santa claus, easter bunny… boogeyman

I used to think if I had to pee, and I ate bread, it would soak-up the liquid that was making me have to pee. I thought of this now because I have to pee and I wish it were true.

@tiny- That’s awesome.

@tiny: I totally wish that was true! Computer is downstairs…only bathroom is upstairs. I am sure I hold it for longer than is healthy sometimes!

Santa Claus, God, Tooth Fairy, that my next door neighbor’s house had an attic, that Reagen and H. W. Bush were good people, that politics didn’t affect me, that everyone cared about everyone else and that people helped out when they could, that everyone who was mean got what was coming to them (thanks a lot Disney!), that evil people were always punished, that most people tried to listen, that people always tried to listen to children, that school was good for people, that candy & junk food couldn’t hurt me, that the law was always fair, that the law was usually fair, that the government tried to help people, that all cops were heroes, that all drugs were bad, that my parents were more mature than I was, that people treated others the way they want to be treated, that The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was a great TV show, that most people actually understood what prejudice was and were never hateful of other people because of things like skin color and religion and sexuality, that watching sports on TV was supposed to exciting, that all teachers cared, that I would never like asparagus or mashed potatoes or onions.

I used to believe that the child support check my mom got every month was a quote of how much i was worth. like if she ever wanted to sell me thats how much she would get.