Is it unethical to sell a gift?

Ok, I’m fessing up. My brother who lives in a differnt state buys me the most ridiculous things for Christmas. They are so ridiculous, I doubt he can take them back, he probably gets them on clearance. So my subdivision has a giant yard sale each year and someone always buys these presents. There is no accounting for taste.

Why don’t you just punch them in the dick while you’re at it?

You never give them the gift back, it is a huge sign of disrespect. Either keep it tucked ready to be brought out while they are visiting or just sell it. It’s the thought of giving, not receiving. Besides, a few extra bucks never hurt anyone.

Depends on what it is. If it’s something sentimental to the giver, wait until they die. If it’s something the giver would love to have, you might get away with returning it, saying ‘I just don’t have room for it’, or something of that nature. If it’s just some stupid ridiculous gift, sell that thing! They never have to know.

I say tweak augustian’s answer a bit. Wait til they die, then at the viewing stick it in the casket with them. It’s like returning to sender, but they can’t do shit about it.

Unless the gift is strife with sentimental value, I’d prefer that the person gets the best use possible from the gift, whether that being selling or not.

Kinda looses the meanin of a gift otherwise.

No, but I think it would be hurtful to give it back. I just did this giant purging. We sold a whole shop full of stuff I was storing. I felt bad about getting rid of some of the stuff, but I was determined to simplify. My Mom came by and saw a set of collectible dishes she had given me as a gift. In turn, her buttinsky, kiss-ass neighbor came by and asked in a phony southern accent “if I had a certain set of dishes that my Mom liked”. She wanted to buy them for her. Well, I was holding them for someone and just felt sooooo guilty. I ended up keeping the dishes and giving them to my Mother. I explained that I loved them and enjoyed them, but she knew I was downsizing, I had numerous sets of dishes and that I wanted her to have them. I am cringing as I type this, because I know it hurt her feelings despite trying to handle it as best I knew how.

I would never ever want to have a gift I gave return to me. Especially if it’s something hand made. Selling it is fine. Just don’t tell me that you sold it.

Just give it to someone else.

I agree with dynamicduo; it’s your’s now. Be tactful.

Two syllables: Re-Gift

I have a whole Rubbermaid container full of them. They go in. They go out.

The gift, once given, is now your property to do with what you will.

no, it’s ok to sell, but be sure it’s not something the giver is going to ask about. And ALWAYS say thank you for the gift, no matter how ridiculous it
Seems.

Is it a BMW? If so, I’m totally available as a re-gifting target.. I’ll just quietly take it off your hands and never mention it to anyone. ;-)

Seriously though: whether it’s okay to sell a gift depends on the circumstances.. like, whether it has sentimental value or not, its monetary value, how close you are to the giver and – ultimately – how they would take it if you did sell their gift.

I think it’s likely that if you feel compelled to ask Fluther before selling it, it’s probably a situation where selling it would be at least rude. Just guessing though.

Gosh, I rarely get any gifts that have enough value to make them worth selling…

If it were me, I’d feel better re-gifting it rather than selling it or giving it back to the person who gave it to me. If it was a homemade gift, I will keep it. That is a rare thing these days, sadly.

I think the unethical part is that someone bought u a gift that u are thinking of selling. They should be more practical about their gift buying. I’d sell it and then buy them a book on ethics with the money. :) btw I’m a jerk.

But you can’t keep stuff forever just because someone gave it to you, and a gift isn’t a “loaned item” that the giver is entitled to get back. My mom’s family is funny that way. When someone dies, they return stuff that was given to the deceased back to the giver. I never want the stuff back; usually I try to give gifts that match that person’s taste, and that rarely is mine. It causes hard feelings. Like before she died, my grandmother gave my sister her good china. My aunts got upset because over the years, they gave my grandmother most of the china as gifts. The problem is, there are two of them, so neither would have a full set, and you can’t find the pattern, even on ebay.

Just out of curiosity, what’s the item?

I feel if you sell, or give a gift that was given to you, to someone else you should do it without the giver knowing.

I was dating someone from jamaica once and every gift that I ever gave her she put away and when she went back home for a visit she gave them to her family…well needless to say the gift given stopped on my part and other things happened and our dating ended.

@AlfredaPrufrock: A watch.

yeah, that’s one of those funny things. Either you’re a watch person, or you’re not. And it’s hard to get the taste right.

My daughter’s situation is even tougher. She is having a baby and my mother in law wants to buy all the foo foo (linens, bumper pads etc.) for the Baby. My daughter is registered at Toys R Us, spent hours selecting exactly what she wants, painted and put up a wall paper boarder to match. My Mother in law wants to buy her stuff in a hoity toity shop that sells the same line, but not her pattern. She doesn’t want her great grand daughter to start life with Babies R Us (sticks nose in air.) My daughter knows that MIL’s taste is sometimes way off of hers. Mother in law mentioned a beautiful lavender set even after my daughter said she for sure didn’t want lavender. MIL will probably spend over $1000.00 for something my daughter will most likely hate. My daughter does not want to seem ungrateful, but she also does not want to see grandma spend good money for something that will probably be put on eBay when grandma leaves after Thanksgiving. What a dilemma. Should this have been a new question?

@JUDI, your daughter has to be blunt with mother inlaw and let her know A. this is my house and this is how I want (my) baby’s room set up and B. if you choose to buy what I’m telling you I don’t want…I will not use it and it will be a waste of money, this isn’t being ungrateful it is be truthful.

Oh my. I would say that could be a question on its own. My advice to you would be to try one last time to convince the MIL not to buy the set, and to make it clear that it will not be used, perhaps look into a place that will accept it as a donation and convey this. I find such gift-pushing to be disrespectful provided I have been blunt with the person. If I need to, I tell them: “I know you mean well and I love you, but your actions now are disrespecting me and my choices.” If I got the gift, I would thank the person on behalf of the donation group, and donate the object as planned.

I think if you can get away with giving the gift to someone that’d appreciate it more, then go for it. Otherwise… that could really set you up for some resentment. So with caution and tact, you can come out a winner! :D

Added caviat: Grandma gifted a substantial amount of money as a down payment for her house. 6 figures.

Ugh… this just makes things more sticky. This is why I don’t accept large presents from family, sometimes people who give money think it means they can start imposing their views on you for whatever reason, and it makes things awkward. I still stand by my previous decision though because if the MIL starts having her way now I fear she will only continue to press for her way in the future, and it will become harder and harder to say no. My parents had to cut my grandfather out of my life when he started telling my mum that she named me wrong…. :|

@judi, this is a sticky wicket. The MIL is very controlling or doesn’t listen well. Your son in law best come to your daughter’s aid or it’s time to buy new border and paint.
The kids need to establish appropriate boundaries now, before the baby comes, or the MIL may very well rule their lives for years to come. Send her my Blessings.

To clarify, it is MY mother in Law, Her step grandmother.

Oh… Stratch everything I said. Sorry!

Oh dear, Judy. I have to say that one of the ways around this is to use a story to make a point. Third person parables are good—“Poor Muffy’s friend, Gidget. Gidget and her husband were so excited about decorating the nursery for their first baby, and Gidget’s mother-in-law ruined the whole experience for them by buying them what she thought they should have, and not what they wanted. Gidget took all the things back, and she had a big fight with her MIL, and now the MIL isn’t allowed over to see the baby. After all, everyone is entitled to make their own mistakes with their own children. I’m glad the we don’t have anyone in the family that would do that to poor Muffy.”

@Judi: Perhaps your husband needs to get involved…it’s his mother, or step-mother right? Maybe he could tell her that she needs to back off a bit, and give ‘the kids’ some breathing room to make decisions and mistakes for themselves. Good luck with this tough situation!

Actually I have the better relationship with his step mother. She has been so kind and generous on one hand, and difficult on the other. The problem is to not seem ungrateful for her kind hearted intentions.
I did tell her that My daughter was nervous, because she (my daughter) is a bit of a control freak. Grandma is coming for Thanksgiving, and I think that she is going to go shopping with her. I think she got the message. I sure hope so. having an unhappy
hormonal pregnant woman around can turn into a disaster if she tries to control her feelings about grandmas choices for to long!

it’s way better to get money for it and buy something you could use instead of just letting a gift turn into another piece of junk

Never give it back!...Duh
Try to get store credit.

No I don’t think it is I have done it before