Are you over it?

You will get over it.

I was with a guy for just shy of 5 years, and we’ve been apart for nearly 3 years. I’ve been in a serious relationship for 2 years (next month). I still think about him every time I say something he used to laugh at or things we used to love to do together, like watch Star Trek TNG on the weekends. Also, it doesn’t help that I work where he used to work when we were together. I work at LabCorp, and I am a dispatcher, so I deal with all the drivers. He was a driver. Some of the people here knew him. What makes it even worse is that I’ve become extremely close with someone who was HIS best-work-friend years ago, so we BOTH remember him every time we’re listening to music that he would’ve really liked. It’s very weird. I miss him as my friend… NOT as my boyfriend.

You will eventually get over it. I promise.

You can and will, things don’t happen over night. You will find years down the road also that you have fond memories, and will know that what happened was for the best. You don’t have to stay with your current gf, you are not obligated to stay, especially if you don’t have feelings for her. You are only hurting the both of you for no reason. Break it off, and keep looking for someone that you might think that you can love.
Another thing that you can do is NOT look. Because sometimes, love will find you, and that will make the best kind of love. Hope this helps, good luck to you.

I was married in 1982 and I still have some residual anger and soft feelings too for a woman that I was dating when I was swept off my feet by my wife.

You can’t do anything about at this point, let the sentiments flow and run off your back

SRM

I was with my first seroius gf a year. It took me three years to get over her about 85%. Maybe a decade to get it down to zero.

We will always, always get over it. Hang in there…

I’m going to stand out for my answer because I’m at least going to word things differently than most other people have so far.

Once you truly love someone, if things end badly – no mutual agreement that things aren’t working out, someone cheated, or any other kind of tragic event – you won’t get over it, especially if you’re generally a very emotional person to begin with. No… The memories will always be there and the loss of what could have been will always hurt. What you will learn to do though, is cope with the loss. And in my mind there is a big difference between “getting over” and “coping”.

Depending on how deeply you loved this person, you will have good and bad days. After a while, there may be a day or two where you manage, somehow, not to think of the person at all, but one way or another the memories will come back.

Even years later, you may have a very bad day where everything comes flooding back and it seems like yesterday that things ended. The pain will eventually subside somewhat though, and your coping skills will increase little by little.

To truly get over it is a sign that it wasn’t something worth remembering in the first place. And generally… As much pain as there may have been in connection to the relationship, loving someone is never all bad, so take comfort in the fact that what you felt, feel and will continue to feel was something truly genuine, which is very rare.

If you ever want to talk, for any reason, you can always message me. I wish you the best of luck.

@DrasticDreamer GREAT ANSWER! Makes me feel warm and fuzzy just reading it :)

you will. it will just take time. I promise.

@DrasticDreamer – great answer!!

You’ll get over it! 5 months isn’t that long first of all…I mean for a relationship. Not that I’m trying to downplay the importance of it, because I have been in very intense short-term relationships where I felt very upset afterwards.

First of all, it will take time. Try focusing on yourself and changing things about yourself that you’ve wanted to in the past. Now is the time to do that! The more you work on yourself, the better you will feel in general!

Yes, it’s true what @Drastic said: you will never forget the experience, but that’s not a bad thing at all, because now you have had experience that has shaped you and that you’ve hopefully learned from. I was in love with one guy in high school. We never dated, but we were friends with benefits for a long time. It was an obsession on my part, and I still don’t really know how he felt about it, but now we are cool, all these years later. I still have feelings for him when I see him places or we hang out, but I would never act on them because I know better and that is all over. Now we are just friends or people who know each other. I am fine with that. I am over the broken heart, why don’t you want me part, but I am not over him being a rad person.

On the other hand, I had a very bad experience with one guy I dated, he cheated on me and left me for some other chick. It was a short-winded relationship. Occasionally he calls me or e-mails me, but I practically hate him for what he did and will never forgive him! He just doesn’t deserve my friendship! So I have learned from these experiences. I won’t forget what happened, and this is a good thing!