Nonchalance Attractive?

Women find men who are genuine attractive. Whatever you naturally are, that’s what will attract any woman worth your attention.

Everyone, men and women, enjoy the thrill of the chase. In my experience, acting non-chalant does seem to make someone interested in you more interested. Of course, there needs to be some interest there in the first place.

Agreed. I should have specified a naturally nonchalant attitude.

Hmmmm. I think there is something about someone who is aloof and confident. I think it goes both ways for men and women. It seems like when I am not feeling all that great about myself and/or I’m paying too much attention to other people around me, I really don’t get a whole lot of attention from other people. However, when I am feeling great and really not paying too much attention to whoever is around me, I get A LOT more attention. There’s got to be some really interesting psychology behind all this…but I have no idea on how to explain it. Maybe somebody else does?...

It’s pretty hard to give a definite “yes” or “no” to these types of questions, because all women are different. Some women may like nonchalance. Others may prefer a more opinionated or passionate man, a real go-getter. My opinion is I like a nonchalant guy, but not if he’s nonchalant all the time, that gets boring real quick. I want to see him passionate about something and striving to suceed.

Personally, I like men who are chalant.

@dynamic – Thanks for that response.

Too often I’ve fallen for the nonchalant guy, then later found out that we have no passions in common. While an overzealous person is a turn-off, I want to find someone who is honest and open about their values and beliefs, someone who will discuss these things with me from the start. Don’t pretend to not care.

Also, if someone doesn’t seem interested in me, I’m less likely to be interested in them.

I completely agree with dynamic. A certain degree of nonchalance is a good thing. If it’s applied to not caring what people think of you in general because you’re you and that’s all there is to it, I love it. If a guy is nonchalant about everything, I feel like slapping him in the face, because it’s like, “What the fuck does this person care about? Anything?”. There’s always a balance to be struck.

I also agree with shadling: If I see someone that I’m initially attracted to but they seem nonchalant about everything I try to talk to them about or their attraction to me too, I will quickly lose interest.

nonchalant, nonchalant… nonchalance, nonchalance… Yep… Sounds funny.

I am told that typically women like nonchalant guys because we like the challenge of taming them or something. Truth be told, guys that are totally comfortable with themselves (and showing their emotions) are the most attractive!

Yes. Carrying too much makes you seem desperate. Sucks but it’s true.

Luckily, many women learn to evolve and try to date nice guys or good guys, but there’s a reason jerks always seem to get the girl. Because they do.

I agree with Augustian. I am attracted to guys who are genuine, whatever their natural personality is. Guys who are naturally clowns, well that becomes them. But a shy guy that is just trying to be like his buddy the clown, well, that’s a turn-off. It makes me back off if a guy is too attentive, and starts that “you’re eyes are like diamonds, your hair is like embers” kind of guy. I can’t help thinking “get a life” and I think it’s because it sounds so false.

Confidence is becoming, no matter what type of confident you are. Sometimes nonchalance can be attractive if the person also shows some warmth and interest. I like the push-pull of not knowing exactly what is on their mind.

I just ditched three guys in a row because they were nonchalant. I can do much better than that, and I deserve much better than that. When a guy waits five days at a time to get back to me, or when he can’t select a specific night to hang out because he wants to keep me waiting, I become immediately turned off and silently offended. In 99% of the cases, he has no chance with me once he does that. I have way too much self-respect to be treated flippantly like that.