What do I bring? URGENT!

Bring her a book she would enjoy. As to whether or not it’s a date, I can’t answer for her…but it sure sounds like it might be. Only way you’re going to find out is to ask! Good luck : )

Definitely a book, or, since you have gone to some concerts, perhaps a cd related to a concert you both enjoyed.

And yes, your get-togethers do rather sound like dates, and actually dates of the best kind, where you are enjoying the activity and each other’s company without scheming or worrying about ending up having sex.

In the old days what you are doing was what a date was supposed to be.

The fact that she broke up with her boyfriend may cause her to see your outings as more than just friendship. Eventually you two may have to talk about things, but not yet. Right now just go with the flow and bring her friendship gifts.

Oddly enough, during my dating days one of the sweetest gifts I got from a boyfriend was a set of jumper cables. I needed some and couldn’t afford them and he wanted me to be safe.

A book is a nice gesture. I concur with Darwin—this sounds like good, old-fashioned dating to me! But don’t let thinking of it as dating change how you go about doing whatever it is you’ve been doing. It sounds like you both enjoy each other’s company, and that’s what it’s all about.

You seem to be omitting an important element in this equation. Are you interested in her?

If you are interested in her, then pursue her romantically by flirting with her, talking about romantic things, and yes, bringing her gifts. If you bring her a gift, it’s best that the wrapping or packaging is also thoughtful. You don’t have to go overboard or overthink it. Just make it nice.

If you aren’t interested in her, then treat her as a friend.

Kevbo hit the nail on the head (as usual). Are you interested in her?? That’s the main question.

A gift is a fine idea, but I’ll play the devil’s advocate…

Why the hell would you bring a gift?? You two are friends! I’m concerned that you’re making something that has been so natural into something where you’re trying hard to please.

Relax. She seems to like you. It sounds like you both enjoy each other’s company. No gift is necessary.

But if you want to, go right ahead! Couldn’t hurt! And keep us posted! I’m rooting for ya!

I agree with trustinglife, why is there a gift involved? Is it her birthday? I don’t buy gifts for friends or boyfriends unless it is a special occasion. It might make the situation uncomfortable.

Flowers are always a good gift, too. Regardless of if it is friendship or the pursuit of something more, flowers are always a very thoughtful gesture.

True, gift-giving might be a little weird if you are “just friends.” But… it seems like Zack wants to ‘kick things up a notch.’ So, he may need to do something to get her thinking. I know it sounds kind of cheesy, but I would suggest making her a mix CD, where you have picked out all of the songs especially for her. She can interpret the gift (and the songs) however she likes. You may not have time for this project before meeting her today, though.

I’m not in the best mood right now. I showed up where we were supposed to meet, waited half an hour, left a text message asking her where she is and then left. She has been working two jobs and is very tired in general, and maybe she overslept (she gets some hours off today). Maybe if she thought it was a date, she would have shown more interest and showed up, or it could have been truly a mistake like her alarm didn’t go off.

After thinking about the situation, I realized that I am interested in her, but if she doesn’t feel the same way, I’ll just move on. I mean, we already have a great friendship, and at least I have that.

As for the gift, I was going to give her a small novella that I enjoyed and that we talked about, and she wanted to read.

Zack – I’m sorry – that really stinks!!

Does she consider these as get togethers or dates?
You should know by now without anyone telling you this…
If i were you,I would wonder if she considers you a friend,
or a person of interest. Maybe she told you about her boyfriend
as something to talk about-you should have delved into that
more closely to see what her intentions were.Nevertheless,
if you don’t know,get her a neutral gift that leaves the
conversation open.If you bring her flowers,it implies
that your looking for a relationship right off the bat.
the book thing won’t work-your in school so that kind
of thing is expected,especially among friends.
And besides,i would hope that you’ve read it first.
Now,here’s one-Go to her and tell her how you feel.
Be yourself.Let the gifts come later;after all,
we’re not in eighth grade,are we?

Don’t write it off because she missed the meeting. The book is a nice idea, even among friends. I’m a little confused about modern courtship ritual. or what I perceive as lack thereof Why do you go from friends to having a serious discussion about “something more?” Whatever happened to putting your arm around a girl when walking down the street, or holding her hand when going up and down steps outside a building, and not turning loose right away? Or telling a girl to hold still, because there’s something in her hair, and then using that as a pretext to kiss her? Do guys not do that anymore?

I would chalk up missing the assignation as being too tired, and sleeping through the alarm. And actually, she gave you a good opportunity to say that when she didn’t show up, you realized how much you like spending time with her. Don’t go into it cranky because you think she didn’t think it was a date. She may need the opportunity to think about your relationship from a different perspective.

Baby steps.

Don’t give up before you even hear from her why she didn’t show up. Like you said, she may be tired and overslept. Take it slow, and good luck to you!

She sent me a text back. It said that she did indeed wake up late. Thanks for all the advise guys and gals. :D

Zack, I feel for ya. Keep your spirits up. There is hope yet.
And I love that you’re open either way, whether it turns into a relationship or not. Thanks for sharing the journey with us.