Thanksgiving dinner: relaxing or stressful?

Both!

This is the first year I am joining my boyfriend’s family for their Thanksgiving, but our big family dinners are usually something along the lines of stressful until everything is on the table, the magically peaceful, relaxing, and wonderful.

STRESS We have to go to 2 houses and 2 dinners. At the first stop the hosts feel bad because we don’t stay to eat. At the second stop they are disappointed because we only came to eat. Maybe we’ll just stay home with the cats next year.

@tinyfaery After driving 4 hours in a blizzard to try and please everyone one year, we realized that noone, including ourselves, were happy. It sucked. Pick one and visit the other on another holiday in Decemeber.

In answer to the question….no stress, low key. One of my favorite holidays as it is the meal and family minus all of the stress of Christmas. And my husband’s and my birthdays are both this time of year….so lots of celebrating :)

I’m glad to say both of my families are very happy families. There’s never been any type of strife or drama at any get together. The only problem I have is picking which family to go to as we only go to one family’s event, we don’t go to 2 in one night, that would be uncomfortable. Now that all the kids are grown up and gone, and we don’t have nephews who come along, its really just the adults hanging around now with their adult children and the alcohol sometimes comes out, everyone has a great time.

Both my ex-husband’s and my parents were divorced, with 1/2 remarried. Initially, we rotated years among the 4 parental households. It was very stressful, as someone always thought (wrongly) that it was ‘their turn’ and felt slighted when we didn’t agree. We finally said “screw ‘em” and started having Thanksgiving at our house, inviting everyone. After that, it was all good.

When we lived near parents and in-laws it was always a stress-fest. Now that they are no where near it is actually a very relaxing day and evening. Thank goodness.

@supermouse: that’s the ticket!

Very relaxing. I feel very lucky for this because in the past it was always really stressful.

STRESSFUL!!!

Relaxing. My aunt makes the food with some help from the other women in the family (my grandma, me, mom, female cousins, other aunts) and sometimes my uncle comes in to help.. or you know, steal food. No one rushes the process. No one asks when dinner is ready. We all play games, watch sports, or sit and talk while the dinner is cooking. The smells are soooo good and when dinner is ready people are ready to eat. All the food stays in the kitchen and you take your plate and serve yourself. The burners are kept on low and the over heating light on so that the food stays warm if people want more (and people always want more). After dinner we wait a bit, then we eat pies – usually pumpkin and a berry pie.

Some little jokes get made at the expense of other family members every year, but my family has a good sense of humor. Or maybe it that you need a good sense of humor to be part of my family. No one gets their feelings too hurt. It’s all in good fun.

No one chips in to wash the dishes. Oops.

Well, my aunt is already stressing out about making her homemade cheese cake. She’s in the kitchen right now making it. I am actually hoping for some peace. So maybe I should steer clear of the kitchen. Between my aunt and my mother it gets a little nutty. Better just watch football with my dad and brother. ;-)
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

I’ll let you know. MIL is coming to town with the “golden grand children.”

Never been too stressful for me, but then again, I’m not the cook, or the host, or someone who always gets the questions about girlfriends and college or work. I’m good at staying away from the spotlight. Some of my cousins who aren’t so good at that seem rather stressed.

But that’s before dinner. With the exception of my dad, who doesn’t drink, the whole family is sloppy drunk by the end of the meal. Then my cousins and I try to get a few of my uncles to start arguing politics. Not stressful at all, just entertainment.

All of us came from broken families. The kids felt bad that the people who had deserted them were still gone. Holidays were times for us to establish or continue traditions that would “hold” the family despite the losses.
This year it was made clear that Thanksgiving would happen at my house as always. As Rick is dead, that’s twice the effort – we always did it as a team. And now there are twice as many people, as each son now has his own family.
Then they invited another couple who have twins aged 18 months.
So I said I’m taking Thanksgiving off, I love you, we’ll have fun at Christmas. They are bewildered and hurt. They’ll get over it. I did.
I’m making a turkey, but then my three ancient friends are coming over with delicious food since they, like me, are old and have cooked forever, and we’ll laugh together as old women do, and be glad none of us has to see anyone we’re related to,
much as we love them.

I just opted out of Thanksgiving this year. It got too much like role-play.

I’m lucky somewhat

It will be only my SO and i for the holidays, so not fuss or stress at all. I do however wish I could spend this time with my daughter and the baby. I’ll be there next year, and we can make up for lost time then.

Um, SuperMouse, you live by me. I guess it’s stress-free for you, but I cook, clean, and host! Nice.

@Gimme, I meant the company doesn’t stress me out! It is just relaxing and enjoyable to spend time with my favorite sister and her family. No in-laws or parents (apologies to you NevadaOldGuy) to stress me out.

Since I know you are in awe of my housekeeping skills, I’ll be over at 10 to help you clean the joint.

Most of the time our family Thanksgiving was stressful to some degree until we convinced my Dad that we could start without my perennially late brother. My mother always insisted on doing the full spread, although as she got older we were able to sneak in and do more of the cooking. Once she started having accidents with fire my SIL and I did our best to be in the kitchen at all times to make sure nothing went up in flames. We did pretty well until the time the dishwasher shorted out through no fault of any of us and went up in smoke

The last Thanksgiving in my parent’s big house was interesting rather than stressful because my brother’s stepson was in the middle of an ugly battle with the mother of his child and so the police came to the house in the middle of the meal (she wasn’t there but she sent them after him for some creative reason – I think because he had reported her drug use in front of the baby to CPS)

Now we have it either in a lovely restaurant with a view of the bay and gourmet delights all around, or we eat at the dining room of my parent’s “gracious senior living establishment.” Then we go over to my brother’s house to watch the chaos. The invitation is always for 4 pm but dinner generally isn’t anywhere near ready at 10 pm, so we make our excuses and leave. According to my children, who can stay up much later than I, dinner usually is served between midnight and 1 am.

In any case, there are always plenty of leftovers. As long as there is gravy our family is happy.

It was always pretty stressful for me each year, so I decided that once I was older, and stopped going home as much, my celebrations would be peaceful.

One of my best friends is hosting Thanksgiving for 10 at his house this year, so I offered to help with the cooking and planning. When we were going through the menu, planning and starting to break things into tasks and shopping lists, he looked at me deer-in-headlights-style and said ”Uh, I don’t think my mind works like that.”

Tonight I called him to check in and make sure we had everything. I ran through the extras- Pellegrino, Apple Brandy, Parchment Paper, Scrabble, dessert for the vegans and gluten-allergic, yada yada. When I heard the frightened sound in his voice, followed by a few stutters, I realized my passion for huge dinner-parties and all of the details that surround them, was totally stressing him out.

I immediately felt awful and promised him I’d chill. I’ll probably run a few miles before I head over there tomorrow, just to spin myself out.

Stressful in the end! My bf just could not calm down about the food! And it was so good! “But it could have been better!” He’s a perfectionist.

I would say that that would depend on who is cooking, what is being cooked, and whether this person or persons like to cook. I love to cook, and I do it for 4 days for the holiday, it is great for me, as it really reduces stress. So, passion for cooking depends on the cook. Hope this helps.

Better than expected :-)

I’ve never liked T-day, but I’m not very fond of ANY holidays. I’d have to say X-mas is my least favorite holiday season but the actual day itself isn’t too bad… Thanksgiving Day takes that title.

The football’s good though lol