Am I out of luck?

Consider yourself lucky. DO NOT HOOK UP WITH PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH, unless perhaps he’s worth more to you than the job. Seriously, it always backfires, especially in restaurants.

As far as embarrassing yourself goes, did you puke in front of his friends or just him? This could make all the difference.

In front of him and the other people I work with. Oy. I mean, they’ve all shared their own drunken stories, and everyone SEEMED to take it lightly, but I’m still driving myself nuts over this.

You’re probably driving yourself nuts. It doesn’t sound like the worst and if he’s being weird about it, then maybe he’s not someone you wanna hang with. Make a joke about it when you talk to him next.

i think your just simply over thinking the situation…it could have been worse you could puked in his lap ( theres always a silver lineing..)

[Edited to make safe for work]

oh right i did leave out a word…thank you…( how about we all just pretend that didnt happen…)

Do you think perhaps you might have a drinking problem? If so, face up to it. And then tell this person that you are stopping drinking. And also that you understand if he doesn’t want to see you again. And then, wait and see what happens. And congratulate yourself for stopping drinking. Maybe he will come around, when he learns you are really sober.

I agree with skfinkel….. Time to grow up and rethink your drinking habits.

If it’s meant to be it will work itself out.

How on earth do some of you get the idea that this user has a drinking problem? It could have been just one reckless night.

I was gonna’ say…I usually only drink 2 beers, and even I’ve thrown up once or twice!

Don’t stress about this. It happens. I agree with peedub’s second answer.

Shandling
I come to that conclusion from the words written in the original question. Classic signs of establishing bad drinking habits. And if she is that worried about how the evening went as a result if her drinking, then it is a problem.

Basp: What signs of establishing bad drinking habits did my question show? I simply said that I had one drink too many. I’m unsure how you managed to infer that I have a drinking problem.

those saying drinking problem are taking this way too far and straying off of the path of this question

Amandala
My conclusion was based on the fact that your actions have caused you this much concern.
Perhaps I am being a judgemental old biddy, but I have seen a lot of lives turned upside down due to drinking and not one of those people thought they had a problem, either…....

basp, I don’t doubt that alcohol and denial have wreaked havoc around you. But to step way out and assume that about someone…??? I don’t think I have a drinking problem – does that mean I do too? I drink maybe one beer once a month.

Anyway, Amanda, how long ago was the party? When do you see him at work again? If I put myself in his shoes, here’s what I’m thinking:

1) I’m too nervous to call you (does he even have your #?)
2) I’m too busy – I’m with my family for Thanksgiving or something
3) I’m a little embarrassed about your puking that night, and I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing. It’s all new, scary, and I think maybe I like you, but I’m not sure. I’ll see how it goes at the restaurant the next time I see you, and go from there.

Totally making that all up, but I don’t think you’re out of luck. Those 3 options all sound plausible to me, and none of them mean you’re out of luck.

amandala – Drinking too much and embarrassing yourself is not something you should do in front of workmates. It may have far reaching consequences. I do think you’re right though. As you said, it is a busy weekend with Thanksgiving, so I wouldn’t worry about it just yet.

If it was me, the next time I saw him, I’d be straight forward and ask him if it bothered him. Don’t beat around the bush. If it does bother him, do you really want to be with someone who can’t forgive you for one mistake?

Trustinglife
If the beer you drink a month causes you to embarras yourself, puke,and stress over your actions to this degree, then I would say drinking that beer is problemmatic.

Typically, one beer a month won’t cause those reactions in most people. But those are typical warning signs that alcohol is a problem in one’s life.

A “drinking problem” is when drinking causes a problem in your life. “One beer to many” has obviously caused a problem in your life. It doesn’t make you an alcoholic, but it is an opportunity to re-evaluate your drinking habits to ensure that “One drink to many” doesn’t cause you a problem in the future.
I learned the hard way that I should never drink in a work environment or around co-workers. I had a habit of having “one drink to many” to often and it damaged my credibility at work. No more drinking at conventions or conferences for me.
(that was several years ago in my 20’s. I have since married a recovering alcoholic so I don’t drink at all any more.)

Wow. I’m a bit surprised at all the people telling you you have a drinking problem. I don’t think that’s the case at all here. I think you just had one too many drinks in the heat of the moment, it’s happened to me (once) before and I sure don’t have a drinking problem. But I did learn from that experience, and now I’m more careful with my alcohol consumption. Part of it was caused by not drinking during high school, thus my first real time with alcohol was with a bunch of friends who had much experience with alcohol… oh that was an interesting night.

Honestly, I’d assume it was because of Thanksgiving that he hasn’t contacted you. Give him some time then give him a call. If he’s a chill guy, he probably didn’t mind, but who knows maybe he did get turned off by your being sick. If he’s a teetotaler for instance he might have found your behavior off putting. But if he’s a regular type of guy he probably has his own share of embarassing stories.

Puking and embarrassing yourself to the point of being concerned you may have lost a love interest is definitley a problem, otherwise she wouldn’t be asking us for advice. that doesn’t necessarily mean she is an alcoholic tho.

I have done that in my younger days when I felt like I was 10 feet tall and bullet proof. I know how mortified you must feel. Give the guy a little time and distance, then call him and tell him how embarrassed you were, and if it doesn’t happen often, or if this was the first time, make sure you tell him that.

Then, ask him over for dinner or out somewhere and don’t drink at all, so you can get to know him better witout the risk of another mishap. Good luck hon. I feel your pain!!

I really think that all you should do is wait until you are both off work, and call and talk. This way you have privacy, or you can even talk to him face to face. See what comes of it. I don’t think that one night of one too many drinks is considered alcoholism either. Honesty and talk are the two things that are going to be in your favor, you might not be out of luck after all. Good luck to you.

@scamp- Well said!

Hey hey – I was present, and there is no alcoholism involved. We have all (well most of us) been in our late teens/early twenties and done silly things due to alcohol. She definitely doesn’t have a problem, and I think everyone needs to steer away from that; it’s silly. I also know for a fact that the guy is really into her, and like I’ve been telling her, she’s definitely not S.O.L.

Aw, Peggy. You’re cute. :)

uuuh, what are you fools talking about? She talks about ONE instance where she may or may not have embarrassed herself with alcohol involved, and a slew of you immediately jump to conclusions and start slandering her. Where do you get off judging people from single instance that you yourself have not even witnessed? After re-reading her original sentence, I haven’t really seen anything to merit such heinous accusations. Why don’t we all just cool our jets and deliver some sound advice.

If she didn’t have a problem she wouldn’t have asked the question. It’s not slandering her to tell her that she has an opportunity to learn from her mistake. No one called her an alcoholic, and she was the one that pointed out that her drinking had caused her a problem. If she didn’t learn from her mistake it might be MORE than a problem, but at this point, no one is slandering her, just giving her the benefit of our experience, which is, after all what we’re all here to share and learn from, right?

Actually, Judi, none of the answers about my “drinking problem” have benefited me in the least, because none of them have actually addressed my original question. And I think that everyone understands that implication of a “drinking problem”, so getting into the semantics of it doesn’t do much, either. And obviously I learned from my mistake, as I recognized that in the question itself. Half of these responses were more judgment than advice, and I’m fairly certain that that is not what we’re here for.

Never meant to be judgemental. I made the same kinds of mistakes in my 20’s. Drinking caused me a problem so I modified my behavior. I am not an alcoholic and now could have a glass of wine and not make a fool out of myself if I chose to. I am as shocked at how defensive people get about the subject. It’s only a beverage and if it’s more than a beverage it’s a problem.

Thank you. I’m not at all in denial of the fact that alcohol can easily lead to greater problems, but I was just taken aback by the accusatory tone of so many responses.