Are you bothered if someone you don't know speaks to you?

I thought everyone liked to talk. Just takes someone to start the conversation.

No, it doesn’t bother me unless I get a skeevy feeling based on looks, tone, etc. As a rule I deal with others in an open and curious manner unless they are clearly trouble.

I love it when this happens, under the right circumstances. If I’m sitting in the caf, really bored, or if I’m just doing nothing in particular, then sure, I’ll talk, or at least acknowledge the person.

If I was busy, I would acknowledge the person, but not necessarily stop my activity.

It depends on the situation. If, for example, I’m standing in a long line waiting to get something, then I find it rather nice to have someone to talk to. I am too shy to start conversations myself, but if someone starts talking to me I’m not going to just ignore them. Who knows, you may find a new friend while waiting to pick up the next iPhone in the 5 hour Apple store lines.

It depends:

“oh boy, it sho iz cold today” OKAY

“ooo girl, look at them nasty feet” FAIL

Not rude at all, in fact I often do it. I’m generally being friendly and polite and I don’t really care if I get a response. Usually it all starts with a smile thought. So no, I’m not bothered.

If it’s clearly said in a creepy way with the intent of bugging me, then I mind.

But a polite acknowledgment of another human being crossing your path is nice.
Yes, I usually respond.
“Good morning” “Good morning”

However… I hate “how’s it going?” or “what’s up?” You’re not actually interested in how I’m doing or what’s going on with me. I’ve learned the hard way that the appropriate answer is to repeat the question or just say hi. “Good, thanks, but my shoe is a little snug and I have to work later, and I’m on my way to get coffee… how’s it going with you?” is not the answer the asker is generally looking for. :)

@likeradar: I’m a huge fan of teaching people to mean why they say by giving answers like those. “Well, there’s a pebble in my shoe, but I’m treating myself to a peppermint mocha today so I guess they even out. How are you?”

With a mental “that will teach you to ask things you have NO INTEREST IN”.

I don’t mind, but I’m terrible at starting a conversation! I love when someone is just generally friendly, especially in a line – where you know you are stuck waiting. My husband can do this – just start talking to someone, not me. I get tongue tied. :(

It doesn’t generally bother me, depending on what people try to talk to me about. I remember not too long ago while I was at work there was a customer I started helping. He had a few questions and I could tell that he’d been drinking a little bit, but he wasn’t over-the-top drunk or anything. Anyway, long story short, he started having a conversation with me about how he just doesn’t understand most people because they’re all so shallow and missing out on true love and the things in life that matter most.

… It was very unusual, but it made me smile the rest of the day. Basically, if a complete stranger tries to talk to me about anything meaningful or completely unexpected… I love it. If it’s general smalltalk, like, “How’re you today?” (etc.), it annoys the hell out of me because I know they don’t really care.

But I’m weird like that. There’s something cool when you can come across a complete stranger and have a really meaningful conversation, knowing full well that you’ll probably never see them again.

No. I talk with strangers all the time. Just the other day a guy started a conversation about what coffee was cheaper on the shelf at the Winn-Dixie and it somehow shifted suddenly to the bible predicting that we would all have microchips implanted in our hands to show how long we are standing in a certain place in the store looking for a deal and the stores would somehow take this information and shun us for being poor. I just rolled with it because I had nothing better to do. I think he walked away feeling like he touched someone with Jesus. That’s the south for ya!

I don’t see why anyone would be stressed out. It’s just a pleasantry. I say ‘Good Morning’ all the time to almost everyone I see, at the very least I smile. But I’m kind of social to begin with. I hate people as a group, I liked individuals.

@asmonet, I must agree. I always walk away with more in a conversation with an individual then I do with a group. Sure, it is great to hang out with a bunch of friends when you go see a movie or something; but, in just a passing conversation over some coffee I find that a one on one conversation leads to overall better topics.

Maybe it’s a regional thing (south), but here everyone speaks to everyone else. Riding in an elevator, you get either a life story, exchange of pleasantries, or someone says something funny. You can easily find a displaced southerner in other cities by the random conversations you have.

I asked because it seems more and more when I acknowledge someone near me or after making eye contact their reaction falls somewhere between wondering who I am and worried that I’m going to take them home and put them in my frizzer.

Not everyone of course, but I’d say half of the people at the mailbox for my apartment complex or that I pass running through the neighborhood don’t respond and half of those seem stressed that I’m talking to them. Maybe I should shower, but it’s good to know it’s not a standard reaction.

Regarding “how’s it going?” and not caring, I definitely care what’s going on with you. If there’s something I can do to help or you’re excited about something and just want to tell someone, I’m all about that. Let me know. If it’s just an average day, we don’t have to languish in the details.

I think you’re on to something with the south (mentioned a few times), I live in Austin now and it’s fairly friendly but after visiting Boston a few times I learned people just do not want to talk. Not your server, not people on the bus, and most definitely, not the people getting money out of the ATM in those little bank nooks.

Re: the South. I’m southern. When I was studying abroad, I was in the Czech Republic. There, in elevators, you say hello and goodbye to everyone, kind of regardless. In the south, it’s not uncommon to smile and say hi when someone gets on the elevator. I’m in Chicago now. It took about six months for me to stop being super uncomfortable when people got on the elevator. I wanted to say hello and goodbye SO BADLY!!

I am that person talking to random strangers, everywhere I go. except the ATM nook at the bank I often feel like people think it’s weird, or I’m weird, but every once in a while, especially with elderly people, you can tell that you really made their day. I’ll take it : )

I like to be spoken to by people I don’t know. I like to tell them, I don’t think I know you.
Then they shut up. Or else they have to tell me who the ?@)( they are. They can’t expect me to remember them. I’m the important one.

Why would it be rude or stress me out??
It might surprise me, but most likely in a good way. Depending on circumstances I might smile and and respond – or even stop to talk to this person and see what they have to say.
In any case I think I’d be pleasantly surprised – not stressed out.

I don’t mind an occasional civil exchange of pleasantries nor, of course, a request for information. But I certainly don’t want people to assume I’m interested in a conversation. I am most likely to be engaged in my own thoughts, pondering an interesting question or planning something out or working on a story element, and have no interest in idle chat just for the sake of jabbering. Sorry, friendly, gregarious folks, but I consider that intrusive.

I love it when people are randomly friendly to me. It’s certainly better than the alternative.

It doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it baffles me. If the stranger is a former inmate I only “know” by sight or reputation, I wonder what the heck they’re doing. Why speak and risk being busted out on how we “met”? I try to speak in code. “Well, hi! Long time no see!” translates to “You’ve stayed out of our custody. Been behaving? Been locked up elsewhere?”

Other than that, I love when people randomly speak to me. Then I know that I haven’t forgotten to take my scary game face off :)

I don’t mind it when people talk with me. If I’m with a new person who has an animal, I’ll always ask if I can pet the animal, and then do so if it’s OK. Then the person usually says the animal’s name, and things go from there. It’s a good way to waste an elevator ride.

I also keep my shoes untied for most of the year. I take my shoes on and off often and its a pain to tie them up each time. Plus I’ve never tripped and I’ve been doing this for four years now. But you would not believe how many people take the time to tell me my shoelaces are untied. I’m talking almost 100% of people here. And when I tell them “I know, I’ve been doing this for four years now and haven’t tripped once!” it kinda fries their brain, they don’t really know how to respond, I’ve gotten stutters and blank stares and rarely any actual words come out for their response. I think people are just conditioned to tie their shoes, and conditioned to tell others to tie them too. I find it so annoying since it happens all the time, guaranteed plus who the hell are you to say I’m doing something wrong just cause its different than how you do it, but I also love making people confused too so it’s not that bad.

Also, back when I rode the bus, I’d often bring my crafts with me and work through the ride. People would chat me up about what I was doing, and I loved sharing it. I even had a great conversation with an elderly woman about cross stitching once.

But I do get annoyed when I make it visibly obvious that I don’t want a conversation – headphones on, book in the face – yet people still try to chat me up. I find a 3 second blank stare, then going back to my book, solves this problem.

If someone in passing says hell, nice weather or something to that effect, it doesn’t bother me at all. I will usually answer in a friendly way.

But on the other hand if the person starts telling me about their trip to Zabooland, I head in the opposite direction quickly! Yes, this really happened!

@Scamp: People say ‘hell’ to you? ; )

ooops!! I forgot the o.. ha ha! Great catch!

I hate it when people randomly talk to me. But I’m an antisocial bitch.

i don’t like when creepy people randomly talk to people. but i like talking to new people. but i’m also a pretty awkward person, so i kind of don’t like it, because i’m horrible at small talk. ):

@tiffy;
When strangers talk to you, think of it as “small talk practice.” If you screw it up it doesn’t matter because you’ll never see that person again. On the upside, you’ll gain practice at a skill you need but feel awkward in.

@judi, i’m definitely going to do that, that’s a nice way to look at it

As long as there is no agro it can be cool.
As I have a strong Scottish accent it can be difficult some times, especially if people don’t get the gist of what you say in reply, they usually counter this with: ” Your not Scottish are you? ”

@ljs22 “Skeevy” feeling? Love it!!