Would you want to know what it's like to be schizophrenic?

Yes, I would think it would be interesting.

Have you ever seen the series Dirt? The photographer on that show plays a schizophrenic. They often show things from his perspective when he is having hallucinations. Not being schizophrenic I can’t say how realistic it was….but I found it extremely helpful and insightful.

Yes. I am interested in any kind of experience that is different from my own. It all sheds light and reveals truths. Anything that can happen to one person can (theoretically, at least) happen to any person.

I think it is a great idea. I would definitely be interested in reading what you have to say. Also, in line with your previous question, if people understand schizophrenia better then maybe they will not be so afraid of it.

That would be really interesting. And really enlightening. Most people only know schizophrenia as the stereotype. That could really help clear things up for a lot of people.

This is a fantastic idea!! Could you post the link to your blog once it’s up and running? I’m immensely intrigued. ;)

If you are up to the writing challenge and willing to submit to judicious editing, you might even consider a book.

if there is enough intrest then I’ll post the link in my profile.

I’ll start with just a blog first, then see what happins.

I have schizophrenia, and I think a lot of people just don’t understand it so well.. or the fact it varies a LOT depending on the person, and it varies on how much it interupts one’s life.

That reminds me a story I read a while back called The Yellow Wallpaper

It was basically a first person account of a woman who had been diagnosed with some generic “hysterical” disorder and he journal entries as she got worse.

It would be interesting to read a range of stories about individual experiences.

Yes! I’d love to read the blog. Whisper it to me :)

I’d check it out. :)

I would read the blog too, as mental illnesses are rather fascinating to me.

Yes that would rule!
I often wonder what other people are dealing with (privately) while peering into other cars in gridlock. It would be great to get a unique view of the world like that, especially a true one.

ok, I’ve started it, the link is in my profile

http://tyrantxseries.blogspot.com/

I’ll be following with my Google reader!

Yes, my uncle was a schizophrenic, and though I didn’t see him go through any schizophrenic episodes in my life time, or his (he has since passed on), his alternative view of the world was very apparent in his artwork. His art inspired me. It was simplistic, but to a point where it was absolute brilliance. I’ve never seen anything like anywhere else.

Wow! Thank you for sharing your story! I will definately be a follower. Wow, do you realize what you are doing to help dispell the false ideas people have against mental illnesses?

Thanks, tyrantx. I’ll be watching with interest.

Great idea Tyrantx! I’ll be reading.

I’m in, too!

I took the NAMI family to family class and they did a role play that helped me to realize how difficult it must be. People had to sit and listen to a person give instructions on how to draw something. The rest of us had to stand behind them, each saying a different sentence over and over again. It was practically impossible for the people trying to draw to focus on the instructions. I gained a lot of empathy that day.
I say anything you can do to help people understand brain disorders and stop the stigma is a great thing. Go for it!

I am also amazed by this idea. You have my full attention, I’ll be reading closely.

@fireside, thank you for the suggestion. You can find the 6100-word story here in its entirety, including a link to a printable PDF. The story was originally published in about 1891, according to a note at the end by its author, Charlotte Perkins Gilman; Wikipedia says 1892. It is a marvelous story, masterfully written and brilliant in its depiction of mental deterioration and an altered inner state. It took me only about ten minutes to read and may be one of the most powerful pieces of short fiction I have ever read.

Note, there are a few misprints in the linked version of the story, possibly artifacts of scanning old print with an optical character reader and then not proofing it carefully afterward; for example, the word “breaths” appears in one place where it should be “breadths.” And there are numerous instances of archaisms such as the use of “wonderfully” and “smooch” (read “smudge”) that might seem peculiar to a modern reader. But the story comes through vividly all the same, so don’t be put off by any quaintness of language.

@Fireside and Jeruba: I read that story when I was in high school, and found it merely interesting. Re-reading it now, it seems utterly profound. Especially when taken together with her explanation of why she wrote it!

A lot of that sounds like depression, and then some of it sounds like an incredibly bored person trying to keep from going insane from boredom. What a horrible thing to be told not to work. Just to rest. And rest. And rest.

I also recognize that pattern identification obsession. Really well. I play the spider solitaire game endlessly. Or else I write. Or else I do a little work. Or else I am with my family.

My work is also about pattern recognition. Or meta-pattern recognition, since my job is to help other people find patterns in their data. Every data set I see makes me want to dive in and see what’s there. I can’t, of course. That’s my client’s job.

Pattern recognition, I think, is both a problem and a solution. It is a problem in that it draws attention from other things or people that need one’s attention. It is a solution in that it keeps one’s mind from thinking about the things one can not afford to think about.

I felt like the story was about listening. Or not-listening. When no one believes one, one feels like one’s touch with reality is evaporating, and one no longer has the power to express one’s own view, or even thing one’s own thoughts. Of course some other entity steps in to fill the vacuum. A you that is not really you.

What’s really scary when you have thoughts that you can not afford to think is that those thoughts issue a siren call that grows ever more powerful. Sooner or later, they will capture you.

I wonder what would have happened had Odysseus gone to meet the sirens?

Odysseus did go to the sirens. I saw your other question and am thinking about a good response, plus I’m pretty busy today.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I am following the blog too.

I am studying to be an Occupational Therapist and mental health is big chunk of our studies and fieldwork. So yes, I would really like experience what it would be like to have schizophrenia so I could better understand the thoughts, needs, and capabilities of my future clients/patients.

After reading all that you’ve written so far (12/11/08), I am starting to get an idea of what you’re going through. I am so damn sorry that you’ve had to experience this.

I just read through your blog, and while my son is not schizophrenic, he is bipolar with psychotic episodes. Your experience sounds a great deal like his manic episodes. The most recent voice to talk to him is a small boy who oddly enough is also named “Josh.” He talks to Josh fairly often. There are also several “Ghost People” who tell him to do bad things. He is scared of the Ghost People and won’t talk to them and sometimes won’t talk about them either. They like it when he sets fires.

I have also had two friends who are schizophrenic. One seemed to have the voices under control, except the meds made him slur his words and gain weight. The other person was rarely under control and had extreme problems with paranoia and visual and auditory hallucinations. Unfortunately her husband refused to help her seek help because he was afraid of her.

I am sorry you are going through this, but I admire you for blogging on the subject. I can’t tell you (or maybe you know already) how many, many people have no concept of mental illness. Especially in our school district so many seem to think that my son could just stop his behaviors if he wanted to do so.

It is great that you are employed and self-supporting. Way to go!

I only know one person who was ever able to ignore his schizophrenia (actually my dad knew him and went to Princeton with him) and that was John Nash, the mathematician who was the focus of the film “A Beautiful Mind.”

I think that it is a great idea and I hope you keep it up. I just read your blog and it is very interesting for me because I really do not understand the disorder. I think that this blog, can help others to understand what life might be like in your circumstances. I will keep reading.

I’ll be reading also. Awesome idea, and thanks for doing it!!

yes, i think that’s a marvelous idea!

@alexmercury no, that was a bad idea, everything I wrote came out horrible, the more I wrote the worse it got, and in the end I just stopped updating it, then deleted it.
I might try again sometime I don’t know

@tyrantxseries Don’t sell yourself short… I was intrigued by your posts.

I was too! I valued your insight and experience. Truly!

Same here. I was disappointed when I saw that your blog was no longer up.

Same here, I actually started my own blog to let out some thoughts inspired by yours. I, too, was disappointed to see you were no longer writing and was actually checking it for updates more often than I was checking Fluther shhhh, don’t tell anyone :)

Second Try

Right on! I can’t wait to read more!!!

@tyrantxseries ; I am looking forward to reading more too, but that black background is making my old eyes ache!!!

I liked the diary version a lot. It gave me an idea of what it was like to live with that day-to-day and from what I remembered of it, was pretty wild. Never read anything like it either ;0 Could inspire a story…