General Question
Can you deconstruct this form of respect for me?
So let’s assume that daloon is my first name (which begs the question of what an appropriate last name might be). I stop by a coffee shop on my campus most mornings for, surprise, a coffee drink. The barristas are all students at the university.
Jolande (rhymes with wand, not land) is, culturally speaking, an African-American. Whenever she sees me, she says “Hi, Mr. Daloon.” Well, daloon being daloon (which is to say, me), gets all wierded out by this. Mr. Daloon? Shouldn’t she just call me Daloon? I mean it could be Mr. [daloon’s last name, whenever it is discovered], but that definitely sounds too stiff. It places too much distance between us. If she addresses me by my first name, well, somehow that is too familiar. So Mr. Daloon is kind of a nice compromise….
Except, every time I hear it, I cringe inside. It makes me feel like a spotlight has been shown on me while I’m brushing my teeth.
So what’s your take? Do you ever get addressed in this way? If so, by whom? Do women get called Ms. [first name] or is that something that only happens to men? Is this a new trend in politeness? A middle step between too much familiarity and too much formality? If so, when is it appropriate? Is there a history behind this that I don’t know? What is the social significance or this sort of thing?
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