If not for Parents or Children, Does Unconditional Love Exist?

I absolutely believe it can. Although I would have to make a point about your question. You asked,“If not for parents or children”. I would dare to say there are a lot of children & parents for whom unconditional love does not exist at all. I am a firm believer that blood is not what creates a bond of love. I think the term is a little tricky though. For example; my best friend has been just that for over 30 years. I believe I love her unconditionally. However, if I woke tomorrow to find she was really a mass-murderer on the side – I would certainly not like her or her actions…but I would still love her deeply. I think those same feelings would apply to my children if I found myself faced with such a realization about them.

Not all parents/children experience/practice unconditional love. Generalizations are erroneous. I unconditionally love my pets. I also think friendship can be a relationship of unconditional love. The unconditional, I believe, comes from placing no conditions or expectations on the loved one.

Yes, just ask my SO. He can be one very crabby guy at times, and his Aspergers makes his moodiness seasonal. He tries my patience almost daily, but I love him anyway.

I don’t know how unconditional unconditional love is. If the person you loves scorned you and was mean to you, or even started hitting you every time you were together, how long could the love last?

Some children are really intolerable, and end up on their own, estranged from their families, or in jail. The parents might say they love the child anyway, but what does that mean? I think it’s a love with an idea more than a person.

On the other hand, there are loves that go further in terms of self-sacrifice than other loves. Certainly the love of children goes in that group. Usually the love of a spouse.

Of course, maybe I’m informed by different experience. In my life, love has always seemed to be conditional on me being good enough.

Love for your SO is totally conditional. I love my spouse for the person that she is, not unconditionally. If your SO did some horrible thing to you and always abused you, you could easily fall out of love with that person. There has to be something that attracts you to that person and that is conditional. I can only think of four kinds of unconditional love:
Love for one’s children would be the greatest of these. Even if your child were “Hitler-like” and you hated the person your child was, you could never stop loving him/her (at least, I don’t I don’t see how). Next would come love of grandchildren. Same scenario. A devout follower of a religious faith has unconditional love for his/her God. And finally, a nationalist has that kind of love for country. These are the people who scare me the most.

@AstroChuck You brought up some very good points. I take back what I said earleir in this thread because I agree with you and daloon.

I don’t believe in unconditional love. That is to say, I believe certain people are fully capable of feeling this way for another person, but I don’t think it’s right. I answered a similar question on here before. In my mind, the term “unconditional love” takes away from the value of true love. If you blindly love someone, without any good reason, how is that really love? There’s no meaning behind it and it becomes completely worthless. People always say unconditional love is the purest kind, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Having standards, not settling and loving people for who they are, what they do and how they act is true love.

@DD- You don’t have any kids, do you?

@astro: if your kid was constantly yelling at you, stealing from you, hitting you, and telling you how horrible you are, and he did this for decades, would you still love him unconditionally? And if you did, what would that love even mean?

Yeah, blood is thicker than water, but surely there are limits?

No, I don’t. And even if I did, that wouldn’t change my answer. Everyone should love people for reasons, not blindly. If Hitler had been my kid, no I would not have loved him. I may have missed him, before he was evil but that’s the extent of it. He didn’t deserve love. No people that are that horrible do.

Daloon- I’m assuming you have no children either.
I don’t mean to be condensending but you can’t really understand unconditional love until you have children of your own. And blood has nothing to do with it. One of my children is adopted and I assure you that there is nothing she, or my other daughters could do to make me stop loving them.

Daloon does.

I dunno, Chuck. Just think of the most heinous act you can. Imagine your child doing it. Repeatedly. Maybe even to you. Can you really still say you love your child? If you do, then I have no idea what love means. Which is quite possible.

I have two wonderful children, and I love them more than life. But if they were to change, and become completely evil, I’d feel horribly guilty, and probably want to kill myself.

There can come a time when parents disown children. I’m not sure how it happens, but I imagine when enough ill will has passed between parents and children, the relationship can be severed.

Let’s just say your notion of love and mine are different, and leave it at that, shall we?

edit: condescending

We shall.

@Astro: If it takes having a child to know unconditional love, wouldn’t the same be said for children having unconditional love for their parents? At least, when the child reaches a certain age and is able to fully comprehend all that a parent has done for them? If it’s not the same, why not? I’m not asking to argue, but to actually get your perspective on the matter.

I meant that one can’t understand unconditional love of a child until they have children of their own.
I would agree that young children have this kind of love for their parents, but as they grow older, that love is conditional to what kind of parents they have been.

But why then, could a child stop loving their parents unconditionally (depending on how the parents treated them), but a parent not do the same, depending on how a child treated them?

Again, not trying to be argumentative, but if for some reason you believe there to be a fundamental difference, you’re right to say that I won’t know until when and if I have a child. But it’s very interesting to me.

Wow, I’ve been reading all the answers/opinions. And I find most everyones take on this an eye opening experience. I’ve been asking myself this question for a while now,eight years since both my parents have died and I miss them. I have no children of my own. My husband has two,one of each. And well,they come first and although I understand, I just wondered if Unconditional Love with another human exists beyond. Fifteen years of marriage between friends, guess I just miss that love.

@DrasticDreamer- Love of child is much stronger than love of parent. That is just nature.

When in doubt, ask for definitions.

@astro, I hate to do this at this stage of the game, but how do you define “love” and how do you define “unconditional?”

I’ve worked with too many kids whose parents had no love for them. How do I know? Actions and a lack of words; sometimes total abandonment.
Shit. One of my closest friends has had 0 contact with his family for over 15 years. They disowned him because he’s
gay. I cannot accept the
implied universality of parental unconditional love. I know it does not exist. I have unconditional love for my wife. I say this because, to me, this means even if she wanted to leave me and become a
Quaker I would still love her. If there were something out there in the vast universe that was
good for her, and it didn’t include me, I would want it for her. Even if it meant I’d never see her again. Hmm…what
does unconditional really mean?

@astro If you have such feelings toward your children, great. But I don’t think you can project your experience onto all parents.

Well, perhaps I shouldn’t speak for others but the love I have for my children is without condition, and the love I have for my wife is with condition.

@tinyfaery: You make some very good points. Perhaps it’s not a parent/child situation; perhaps some people just don’t have the capacity to love at all. Maybe it’s just that they can’t love those that they view as imperfect or flawed. While I think love is a natural emotion, some people are only as good at it as the examples that have been shown to them. I love it when people come from a bad situation and then break the mold instead of perpetuating the pattern. Like astro, I believe I can and will love my children come what may; but then again I have learned to never say never.

God is unconditional love in my opinion..