Mrs. GAMBIT is upset because I won’t be able to bring home squirrel meat for Christmas. Should squirrel hunting be allowed in New York City?

Boy if that we’re legal, you’d have a list of clients that would keep you busy until the Sun goes nova.

I am from MS and have actually been squirrell hunting. It was sad. I am a redneck, huh?

@jessturtle, hey we are who we are.

The last thing New York City needs is a reason for more people to carry guns :)

Regarding squirrel though, meat is meat. If it’s slow cooked and in sauce you don’t even notice really. I’d be a bit concerned about whether the squirrel was healthy or diseased though, my instinct says the odds of hunting a diseased squirrel would be greater than hunting a diseased deer.

Maybe they would let me use my bow and then keep them on the shaft of my arrow. I could skin it take it on the subway get him home and have squirrel shicabob.

This city is so strange I have yet to see any bow hunters.

How do they expect us to have a Christmas feast when there isn’t even a possum in sight.

It’s urban hunting! You do it with a special plastic card, or some green bills. You walk around until you spot the elusive Grocery Store. Don’t approach it too fast though, it might get scared and keep its automatic doors shut. It’s best if you closely follow another person inside, then the store only thinks one person is coming in and thus won’t pay attention to you. Wander around its innards avoiding the other humans the store has eaten; resist the temptation to take one of them as a Christmas roast even though the small ones are perfectly sized for an oven. Continue your way to the back of the store where you will be greeted with a plethora of animal carcasses in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Select the one you want and keep it in your hands. Yes this is a bit less fun than actually hunting and killing a creature, so to make things more fun you can “hunt” down your meat by following other Humans with carts and stealthily steal their meat when they’re distracted getting a can of potatoes. The last thing you need to do is pay for your hunting tag. This is done by going to the front of the store, standing in a line (humans love lines!), and giving your meat and plastic card/green bills to the drone manning the equipment. Once paid, they will give you your hunting tag and will even put it in a bag with the meat too. How’s that for service.

@dynamicduo – Wow this seems more dangerous than the African Safari I plan to go on my 50th birthday. I better bring all the green bills and plastic cards I can muster. I just hope the other humans aren’t hunting for bear. I’ll make sure to wear my bright orange jacket so they wont hit me with those steely carts. I also will put on my fly fishing boots just in case the floors are slippery. Thanks for letting me know about this new terrain I am facing. Heck maybe I can make a sport out of it.

Whenever you’re dealing with loads of humans, indeed it is quite dangerous. You never know what they’ll do. At least with animals you know they’ll do one thing off a short list. But humans? They’ll pull the craziest things when you’re least expecting it.

Good luck with your new sport, once you master it you should consider writing a book – seeing as you’re in New York, it’s much closer towards getting on the New York Times’ bestseller list than if I tried from here in Ottawa :D

@dynamicduo – Thanks for the idea.

The book title will be “Dinner in the Trees but Not for Me”
“How New York City changed the eating habits of one good ole boy and his family”.

With special letters home like Mom send us some tadpoles and tell Jed to send some fish eye soup.

Haha your question sounds like a plot-line out of the Beverly Hillbillies… is this for-real?

@ GAMBIT this has to be a bull-shit question! haha no one is this ignorant… even people form the south “Maybe they’d let you carry your bow around?” sure thing buddy…

@madcapper, I wouldn’t have to string my bow until I actually got to the park. I doubt if these city folks would even know what it is but I see your point maybe so that I don’t draw attention I should just break out my Crosmen Sling shot. Depending on the wind I could hit a pigeon at 50 yards.

Man if I was back in Mississippi Christmas dinner would be already in the smoke house waiting for December 24th and my wife would be getting the scrapple together.

@ GAMBIT ohhh ok I guess I see your point… maybe this question was serious. I mean a slingshot is more concealable and there are a lot of pigeons in NYC so I would say go that route. Isn’t pigeon like goose on Christmas in Mississippi? Can I ask what scrapple is? haha

Pigeon is wonderful served with a light cranberry sauce.
Scrapple is a mixture of pork, cornmeal and flour. Mother M used to serve it with eggs and biscuits on Christmas morning. Then we knew that in the evening we would have chitterlings which is pigs feet.

Mmmmm I’m talking good eating. These New York folks are getting heavy on Pizza and soda but my weight comes from the farm.

Please don’t take this question to seriously. I’m a kidder.

Cross the bridge and hunt in Jersey!!

Hmm, squirrels are tree rats…...New York has plenty of rats….maybe you could get away with hunting rats!

Why am I finding this so very odd?

So you are making fun of MS?!

You don’t even know how to hunt squirrels, do you?

“Then we know that in the evening we would have chitterlings which is pigs feet.”
Come man you should know what chitterlings are. They aren’t pigs feet but intestines.

Mmm scrapple sounds great!
@ jessturtle no were not making fun of MS! Multiple Sclerosis is a serious disease!

@jessturtle – come on man I’m not making fun of anyone. If this routine has offended you in anyway I apologize.

@buster – now we are getting to the meat of it. Thanks for the clarification.

@ jessturtle I think GAMBIT was making a joke of a topic which is totally cool and I am also joking so please do not apologize and just roll with the joke! your cool! ( and I totally mean that! I may make sarcastic jokes on Fluther but for the most part everyone is funny/cool/individual in their own way and that is great!)

@madcapper – Thank you.

when I first read this GAMBIT I thought it was one of the best questions ever haha!

@madcapper, I appreciate it but I wont add to this post anymore. If it has become offensive to the good people of Mississippi, The NRA, MYPD, Bow Hunters of America, 4H Club, animal rights activists, The New York City Transit Authority, Al Gore or Willie Nelson then the joke is on me.

Thanks again.

People I was kidding! I have heard every joke there is about my home state for 26 years.

@jessturtle – Glad to hear I didn’t upset you. It was not my intention. Next time I wont name a specific state. I heard a song by Country Legend Jimmie Rodgers called I Miss Mississippi and you and that is why I said I miss Mississippi.

GAMBIT your a fake ass redneck.

I have this weird urge to hunt squirrels now…

Who’s with me?!!

I know how if you don’t.

Not a clue. I only have a BB gun and a slingshot, will that work?

Not really. If you want to get a bunch you need a shotgun and birdshot. Just have a friend go to a tree with a nest and shake a vine on the tree if there is one and when they run out of the nest Shoot them between tree jumps. I thought I wouldn’t be bothered when I saw this but I ran out of the woods crying. I was 17.

Oh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Do you need to talk more about it?

Yes, thank you. I will never hunt again!

@buster – Let the truth be told.

Tell the police you were hunting rats, and were looking for ones wearing their winter coats. That isn’t illegal is it?

@galileogirl – I think this is a great idea. I could say it was my civic duty and Christmas would be saved.

I love happy endings!!!

@loser – :-), me too.

this is hilarious, GAMBIT, lurve all over!

i have noo idea what you mean