Is anyone else Asexual?

I’m asexual I’ve known it since i was 12 didn’t confirm it until i was 15.

Out of curiosity, is there any thing that turns you on?

nothing that I know of.
I find the idea of “being turned on by something/someone” very confusing

My friend is asexual and really into it…. I think he’s in the closet, but he says he’s asexual.

@emilyrose: why do you think he is in the closet?

A gut feeling I guess? He exhibits a lot of stereotypical gay mannerisms. Before anyone jumps down my throat, I have seen studies about this stuff before and that there are types of speech, physical movement, etc, that can be linked with folks who are gay. In one study they played videos of people and had others guess who was gay and it was obvious in all but one case in the study I saw. He can be whatever he wants and he is the same to me either way (except for the time I thought he was hitting on me!), I just hope that he is being himself.

@tyrantxseries

I’ve never heard of that, until now

I’m pretty sure one of my friends from high school is asexual. She has never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, never been kissed, never shown interest in anyone. I wonder if this has anything to do with biology because she is very undeveloped physically. She is almost 20 years old and is built like a 12-year-old pre-pubescent girl. Maybe that’s completely wrong, but I do know that she has shown zero sexual interest in anyone and anything, as far as I know.

@tinyvamp: Just out of curiosity, how did you confirm it?

(Removed by me, because I can’t read properly or something. I linked to the website of the organisation that the poster obviously already knows about, because they posted it in the question. Boy do I feel lame.)

I have a gay friend who is asexual. He is ‘married’ to his partner, but has zero sexual interest.

@laureth
??????

I was. I was an advocate for it through all of college too. Then my boyfriend kissed me (he was not the first boy nor was he the first girl to do this) and it turned me on. And shocked the HELL out of me! You’ve no idea how weird it was.

Anyway, good luck. I hope you face far, far more understanding about it than I ever did.

asexual means you reproduce solely on your own. so unless your a sea star or a sponge this question doesn’t apply to you…

Corn is also asexual. I think “asexual” people just haven’t been turned on in the right way.

@katawagrey: It was confirmed when I went to a slumber party and all the girls were gossiping about their crushes and then it was my turn, it was then that i realized that i had never thought of sex or having sex or sexual attraction to anybody or anything…..

but for good measure i asked my mom if she has these feelings…. she said yes. that was all the confirmation i needed.

@tiny: are you saying that asexuality might be genetic or that your mom had these feelings and doesn’t anymore?

@tiny- Wait until you get a bit older before you start defining yourself.

@katawagrey: i had this illusion that my mom doesnt think of sex not because she is older but because, i’ve never heard her hoot and holler at a dude or say “i’d like for him to come over to my house” (even though she has 5 kids, i totally thought she forced herself to have sex because she just wanted kids, haha)

so when she said yes and starting spouting out all these names of people she’d like in her bed! i was like wow i really am asexual….i’ve even had sex and it did nothing for me at all but the other person was very happy, i must say! :D

@jessturtle23: i’m 24 now and i still feel the same way

I was at a slumber party one time and all I could think about was how much I wanted to have sex with myself and produce little “me’s” to take care of and thats when I realized I was a-sexual…

it is my understanding that there is a small percentage of the population that are asexual. “A study published by the New Scientist magazine in October, 2004 estimated that 1% of the human population is asexual, and confirmed the existence of asexuality in both humans and other animals.”-from the bbc

and my mimimal understanding is that it is VERY complicated (duh!-just like “straight” or “gay” are not as simple as we would like to think). love is not necessarily ruled out and neither is kissing or even sex, but it is different for everyone (just as gays/straights/etc have preferences).

AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) at asexuality.org seems to be your best bet at learning more about asexuality from a community of asexuals.

good luck

(p.s. @ madcapper- since you just posted-it is really rude to make fun of someone who is genuinely struggling with such a personal issue)

@tyrantxseris, you’re obviously a closet asexual.

@ alive are you kidding me!?! come on I am not being mean but “asexual” is a biological term and not some bull-shit “metro-sexuals” can bandy about to feel better about themselves, sorry..

come tyrant I am waiting on baited breath for your response…

“asexual means you reproduce solely on your own. so unless your a sea star or a sponge this question doesn’t apply to you…”

“I was at a slumber party one time and all I could think about was how much I wanted to have sex with myself and produce little “me’s” to take care of and thats when I realized I was a-sexual…”

“hey fyi tyrant’s expertise is ” I know little about nothing” so some fucking “idiot” is going correct me? priceless…”

the respect you have for other peoples issues is overwhelming, people like you make me sick and what I really think about you would have been removed so “idiot” is the best response. the more you post the wose it gets(very sad)

please please tell me your true feelings! they won’t get removed before I read them so do tell!?! your just upset because you tried to upset me an failed miserably… now go heat up your Ramen noodles and cry into the empty cup when your done… you suck… ohh too mean?

.. You guys are acting like children..

(sigh) really sad

just for the record, i majored in gender and sexuality studies during my undergrad, so i am at least partially informed on this particular subject (from biology, sociology, anthropology, philosophy, psychology).

“meterosexual” is not a sexuality, nor has anyone ever claimed it to be. In fact meterosexual implies STRAIGH men.

And text books change. The study of sexuality only dates back to the early twentieth century when “sexologists” began to investigate the “sexual invert” i.e. gays and lesbians. Now that we have come to understand sexuality in a non-discriminatory way our concepts of sexuality have changed. NOW texts books refer to “asexuality” in humans as, “being asexual does not mean having an ability to clone yourself on the spot like an amoeba. For the most part, it also does not mean to have no sexual organs. So what, exactly, is it? The definition of Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction.”

Lastly, fluther is a place people go for help. I think anyone would be mad if they asked a question and someone just got on fluther to insult people.

*straight

get off your high horse and don’t act like you are an expert with your major in gender and sexuality studies… the fact is I was making a joke and tyrant dude freaked! so I said what I said and most people thought
” oh how silly” not how much of an asshole I am but at this point I will not apologize because if anyone calls me an idiot they had best be able to back it up! He couldn’t so he fails…
You fail as well… as I majored in “not being a pompous ass” and “a-sexuality” is a biological concept and nothing beyond it… I take no sympathy… if you like both sexes it’s called bi-sexuality not “a-sexuality”. Excuse me as I am going to go cut off my arm and create another me…

Makes me think of a starfish.

“if you like both sexes it’s called bi-sexuality not “a-sexuality”, so um did you read my question or look at the link?

k so I had read your question, hence my previous answers! next I read your definition of the Asexuality and Visibilty Network… which is bullshit! no one is a-sexual… what are you planning on fucking then? your hand? I am sorry but everyone has sexual feelings somewhere! This “A-Sexuality” is bullshit just like WMD’s in Iraq. I wish for once someone would own up to their feelings instead of labeling them with bullshit! So you are attractive to both men and women? well thats quite full of yourself… you must be an exceptionally good looking “thing”...

wow, this thread happened.

I’d say it’s more wow that madcapper chose to come to this thread and be an ass.

It’s not true that everyone has sexual feelings somewhere, madcapper. And I’ll put myself really out there and say I’m attractive to both men and women. How do I know? I’ve dated both. Literally until the moment my boyfriend kissed me I had never, not even once had a sexual urge. And it is alienating to feel that way. Everyone else on the entire planet has these urges, everyone says they are our most basic urges—part of what makes us human, and you’ve never had them.

And you tell someone, even as the biggest secret ever and they never look at you the same way again. You become slightly alien. And best of all, almost everyone reacts like you did: Oh, that doesn’t exist, everyone has those feelings, you’re just suppressing them, you’re obviously in love with your best friend. Fuck. That. Shit.

But whatever. Thankfully no one needs your support. After all, they’ve got the support of BBC and CNN who have started doing features on this more and more often. Also that of 60 Minutes who did an entire show about it. Plus, of course, there is AVEN. They can go to Wikipedia and see a list of famous asexuals and famous virgins. The famous virgins are generally historical figures and can be divided into “probably gay” and “probably asexual”.

i thought madcapper’s response was comical, its nothing to get upset about, but he does bring up some points….

bisexual and asexual both have a biology definition;

asexual:
1. Biology.
a. having no sex or sexual organs.
b. independent of sexual processes, esp. not involving the union of male and female germ cells.

bisexual:
1. Biology.
a. of both sexes.
b. combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.

if you like both sexes it’s called bi-sexuality not “a-sexuality”. Excuse me as I am going to go cut off my arm and create another me…

so that would mean by biology that when someone says they are bisexual they are actually a hermaphrodite instead of liking both sexes according to the biology definition.

but as life goes on the dictionary adds more definitions as we progress in life so that now terms like asexual and bisexual apply to people now instead of starfish, sponges, etc.

asexual:
adj.

1. Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.
2. Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as in binary fission or budding.
3. Lacking interest in or desire for sex.

bisexual
2. sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.

of course there’s homosexual and heterosexual which those terms were already established earlier on but the term metrosexual doesn’t really have anything to do with sexuality. it’s a term created by the fashion industry to describe a well-groomed man that isn’t gay. (i.e. justin timberlake, jude law, etc)

I don’t even know where to begin with flagging these responses…where are the mods?

wow, wtf, lol, alot of (um) great answers to the question

I’m asexual. (tinyvampp’s 3rd definition——wanted to clear that up!). I am not getting married when I grow up. Not really a fan of girls but I am not homosexual!!!! (or bisexual!!)

are you still in that “girls have cooties” phase?

no. and I made sure of that. I had my first girlfriend and well, didn’t work out well.

I just have to ask… how old are you?

144

Edit: 14

your 144 years old? I don’t think your asexual by choice at 144, half of your body doesn’t work at that age

@ 90’s ok so I am not being an asshole but I must say that when you are 14 I don’t think you can decide just yet about your sexual life. I had a girlfriend when I was 14 too and it didn’t involve much in the way of an actual relationship because we, and you, were still very young. I would say not be so hasty with your decision. Unless you are messing with us and are really 144 and then I want some advice haha

But I have only seen one girl I was interested in. And I hate the ones that are “popular”. Everyone thinks they’re hot, except me. That’s asexuality.

@90s_kid
enjoy being 14,
don’t try to define your sexuality, define you views on life. just enjoy being at the stage of life your in, you’ll never be there again, you will have lots of time to think of these thing later in your life.

It’s OK to not like the “popular girls.” Sometimes it’s all hype and they’re not even all that interesting underneath. But it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily asexual – it just might mean that the wallflower girl or someone else will be what does it for you someday.

I like girls that are 90’s freaks. :p
haha

@90s_kid Man, you are makin me feel old and I am not that old…there can be 90’s freaks now?! This is how I feel when I hear Nirvana on classic rock stations.

Can we differentiate between, as AVEN puts it, “feeling sexual attraction” (to another person) and having sexual feelings? Freud seems to do this when he delineates out the sexual object and the sexual aim – or maybe I am drawing a false parallel. Help on this, @alive?

If we can, then I would say that I am asexual, because I have known for a while now that I am not attracted to any person or any thing. I am currently in a great, long-term hetero relationship, and have had a variety of sexual experiences. More of an “eh” feeling than anything else.