I would suggest a few things.
1: Tell your friends the truth. Tell them have you feel, and how it bothers you.
2. If they can’t handle it, find some other friends that aren’t as flakey. Keep the friends you have, just add others that you enjoy being with that aren’t so flakey, so you’ll have some other options of people to hang out with.
I personally hate people who are like that. I like making plans, sticking to it, and having a blast. I’m not saying its a bad thing to change things up once in a while, but when you plan something to happen a week in advance, and the day of the event 15 mins before people flake out…it’s just bad. Because of this, I have friends of all sorts. Flakes, preps, extremes, downers, uppers, easily-exciteds, not-easily-exciteds etc etc etc…I have a great choice of people to hang out with, not just a few.
To answer your questions:
So how do you handle flaky, wishy-washy friends?
If they’re your friends, and they mean something to you, you give them your respect by telling them the truth. A friend will tell you what you want to hear, a good friend will always tell you the truth. But at the same time, don’t do anything that’s uncalled for. Don’t lose it on them, but at the same time, try and get your point across.
What do you say to prevent friends from flaking?
This depends on if they’ve committed to it or not, and also age might factor into this one. If they agreed on coming and decided to change things at the last second, I would let it slide and just add in that they’ll be missing out(if the flake was for a stupid reason).
If they’re older, they’ll be less likely to flake for stupid reasons.
The younger they are generally, but not always, they’ll tend to flake for stupid reasons. eg: I have a friend that I love to death, but he chases girls like a dog chases cars–and he’s considerably younger than the rest of us. A bunch of the guys would plan something, and he would agree to come. But if one of our female friends asks him to come do something, even at the last second, he goes. This isn’t for all guys, just in this particular example, this is how he tends to flake out.
This also depends on personality types, and behavior. If certain friends prefer doing something else than what’s been decided upon, they’ll be more likely to flake(obviously).
Or they might agree to doing something and then that one night, they feel different, and want to do something else entirely. I have many girlfriends like this(no offense to women).
How do you react when a friend does flake out in a mature manner that makes them reconsider their rude actions?
I think I answered this above. But basically don’t lose it on them, but at the same get your point across. Communicate to them how you feel in a mature–honest way, and work it out.
I’m no expert by any means, I’ve just had a lot of experiences. Just my 2 cents