General Question

jazzjeppe's avatar

How can I survive Christmas?

Asked by jazzjeppe (2598points) December 20th, 2008

I am not much of a family gathering person and to be honest, I am not looking forward spending a week with my parents, or even three days with my sister and her family. Could be fun for a couple of hours, but I always get terribly bored (and boring) and restless. Note: I have a kinda sad relationship with my family, which brings a lot of tention to gatherings like this. Probably only me and inside my head, but still, it’s a lot of anxiety inside me…

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9 Answers

Trustinglife's avatar

Seems like you can begin to make headway with making peace in your family. Or you can “survive” the time.

Seriously, why even go? What’s the point? Have you considered saying, “No one really enjoys it when I’m there, especially me, so this year I’m skipping it”?

bythebay's avatar

It would seem that holidays can bring out the stress in many families, so you’re not alone. But trustinglife is on to something, why are you going? If you don’t want to see them, why go? Maybe honesty is best, albeit possibly painful for them to hear and you to say. My brother, whom I adore, really doesn’t dig the big family scene. He told us years ago…“I love you all so much and I want to see you all, but in small doses. All this Norman Rockwell, Martha Stewart, tradition makes me nutty”. Initially it hurt my feelings (because I do channel my inner Martha occasionally), but now I just appreciate his candor. He & his family come to gatherings, stay for a couple of hours, and they go. There’s no more of the sulking and drama, no more of the begging & cajoling, and absolutely no hard feelings. We just enjoy the time we have together. Anxiety isn’t fun for you or them, maybe it’s time to shorten your visit.

90s_kid's avatar

Every year, I do the same thing. I always say “I’m not going to like this Christmas” but then it turns out ok. Now, I have learned through the years to accept whatever I have to do for the holidays because I know that It will turn out to be OK. Now this is coming from a very adamant person so it’s true. :)

steelmarket's avatar

Give yourself some escape time. Get away to a movie or the mall or a park. Take walks. Grab a camera and go on a photo expedition. Take a nap with the earbuds in.

augustlan's avatar

Shorter visit, FTW.

tiggersmom's avatar

Limit the time that you are with them, you don’t have to spend every waking moment with them, though they might get the feeling that you don’t like them, if you talk to them about how you feel, this will help to start mending fences, on both sides of this fence.
I don’t care to be around my husbands family, as they tend to fight, but I do it nonetheless. I like to laugh, and I do it quite a bit, so that is one thing that I use to get me through it. I laugh, and make jokes. Besides that, it is good medicine. Sorry I can’t help more, but I wish you all the luck in making it better for you. Merry Christmas.

angelshine's avatar

Tell jokes and funny stories. Bring an IPod, bring a camera and talk a walk to take pictures. Take pictures of the family. Call and find out exactly who is going to be there and see what good things you can think of about each person. Hopefully, that will bring a funny story to mind or a good memory that you can discuss. Bring a selection of DVDs for the family to choose from and pop one in.

tiggersmom's avatar

Don’t worry, you will do fine.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m pretending it’s fun. So far, it’s not been too bad.

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