Looking back, do you feel you were too young the first time you had sex?

I personally feel I was a little too young to deal with the emotional part of it, as well as the relationship complications that arise. I was only 14 and I wish I would have waited just a few more years. I wish I would have enjoyed my childhood while I still had it. I don’t regret who it was with or anything like that, we are still pretty close… I just wish I could have been older so I could have set a better example for my kids. Hopefully I can talk to them about my regrets…

I was 15 the first time I had sex. Now I’m almost 23.

No, I don’t think it was too young.
No, I don’t have any regrets.
No, I would not change anything.
No, it was not special.

I really didn’t want my first time to be special. I figured the chance of that actually happening was so slim that it wasn’t worth wanting. I also figured that there was plenty of time in my life for “special” sex; might as well get the awkward first time out of the way before that happens.

So when I went on a cruise vacation with my parents at 15, I found the cutest boy on the boat and slept with him. It was fine; it was fun, and I don’t regret it.

@krose1223: I definitely think I would have been too young to deal with the emotional part of it. Thankfully, my first time did not involve very many emotional aspects. That’s why I waited until I was older to have real relationships. I felt I was too young for a boyfriend, but not too young for meaningless sex.

Yes, too young (15/16?).
Do I regret it; probably because I hate even thinking about it. It wasn’t fun or “special”. I was pressured by my HS boyfriend, half drunk, and too tired of arguing to say no again. It’s not that I look back and stress about it, I just wish I’d had the inner fortitude to say no to something I really didn’t want. It certainly wasn’t an emotional choice.

The hardest part was actually after we broke up. I really wondered…because I had crossed that line…if I was now supposed to have sex with everyone I ever dated. I felt marked somehow. Anyway, I got choosier and have no lasting scars except for that twinge of regret. I will most definitely teach my children to be wiser & stronger. I hope it works! :)

@girlofscience- yeah when I read your response I thought “Why couldn’t I have been that smart.” Ha. I don’t have any major regrets, I just look at my son and think about what I want for him. I just don’t want to see him grow up so fast. That’s really the only reason that has ever made me wish I waited. I didn’t care too much before him.

Seeing as I was 29, no I don’t think I was too young. She did break up with me about a month later, though, so yeah I do somewhat regret it…

I was a few months shy of 18, and the boy and I had already been dating more than a year by the time we had sex. It wasn’t all that good (we were both bumbling virgins), but it wasn’t horrible. We dated for another almost-a-year before we broke up. We’re 36 now and still distant friends.

I don’t regret it. There are worse ways to lose one’s virginity than to a decent boy who cares. I didn’t marry until age 35, and while it’s nice to think about having waited for The One, I realize that I would have missed out on a lot in life if I hadn’t had sex until my mid-30’s. Plus, I wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining for the husband – sometimes knowing some sweet moves makes up for having been “damaged goods.” (Especially since he wasn’t a virgin either.)

So in short, no, it wasn’t all that special, but it opened the door to special things later. I wouldn’t change it, though. And I think if I had known at 17 that I wouldn’t marry for another longer-than-I’d-been-alive-at-that-point, I still wouldn’t have done it any other way.

Yeah, I was way too young.

I was 16. A little too young in my, now, adult opinion.

But, seeing as we’re married now, it all worked out.

and the sex is much better in your thirties

@cprevite- Assuming your husband is the only man you have ever been with, do you ever wonder what it might have been like with others? Do you ever wish you would have explored more?

@krose1223: (It’s my wife by the way) Sure I’ve wondered about sex with other people, but never enough to pursue it. I also never had any need to explore – beyond fantasy in my head, anyway.

Mmm, Anne Margaret

sorry sinks in chair. I’m bad about these things.

19, doofus, rigid, careful, not careful in the right ways, freaked out, wrong person: too young.

Yes I was young and I do regret it. It was some worthless piece of shit guy god it gets me mad to think about it.

I was 18 the first time and I was 19 the first time with a male. I was not too young in either instance. I would not change anything with either experience. I would say that my first time was a lot more special and a lot better then my first time with a guy, although the guy did things that my girlfriend couldn’t and that was pretty ok.

I started back in high school, I guess that’s too young. My buddies always tried to make the move on anything that moved. I told them, “Why limit yourselves?”

I was 15, my BF was 18 and also a virgin. We cared for each other quite a bit, but admitted we were not in love. We made a considered decision to be each other’s ‘first’, and planned well in advance. We were careful in all senses of the word. Was it ‘special’? No, but not awful either. I don’t regret it, but I do regret that I went forward with the idea that every relationship should culminate in sex. So many of them just weren’t worth it. I think we should teach our children that every time should be a special gift that you give of yourself to someone worthwhile.

I had no idea what I was doing—like golfing in the back yard, every now and again even a blind putter hits the hole.

I’d probably just keep hitting the windmill.

Probably.

Most of my memory of that night has faded, except purchasing the condom. I had to get the big pack, because the small ones were all out…and the clerk kept snickering and wiggling his eyebrow at me. I wanted to die. Oh, and she lost a sock, and my sister found it in the car a few days later.

I was young, but I have no regrets. The relationship lasted for about 5 years; I loved him. The very first time was sweet, but we got better and better and better at it.

My first was at 17, and it was amazing and, yes, it was special. I have zero regrets; I loved him, he loved me, and I knew I wanted to do it. We were dating long distance for about 3/4 of a year, and I can’t imagine having loved anyone more. I went to visit him in his town and we snuck into his house and, even though we knew it was going to happen, it went naturally and in due course, and he made sure I was comfortable, ready, and sure of what I wanted to do (he was not a virgin). We were smart about BC precautions and what not, and it went off without hitch (didn’t hurt either! though that may be a little TMI). I have no regrets at all. I loved him and we dated for two years, and though we’ve since broken up, I still love him and I know it was the right choice. I’ve made some very silly choices regarding sex since, but I am very glad I did it when I did.

@laureth; reviewing your post waaay up there, never refer to yourself as “damaged goods” ever ever again. <shakes finger sternly>
Sounds like something a defrocked televangelist would have said, before getting caught with a prostitute and begging for forgiveness and money :^D

ha, susan c is my fav so far…. lol.

anyway, I’m going to be having sex for the first time (at 22) on Jan. 3rd! Yeah, i went the corny old fashioned way and waited for “The One” like laureth mentioned! i’m sure i’ll be as bumbly and goofy as anyone (we’re both virgins, lol)!

@chutterhanban: It’s not corny or old fashioned; it’s special. Relax & have fun!

@Knotmyday: It was in sarcasm. :) I don’t believe it, but it was a mocking nod at those who do.

I know. But typing the televangelist thing made me really happy. “I have done it…again.” the Rev. Swaggart

It’s just that sex seems to improve so much with practice and experience with different people, that having only one partner in one’s life would be like learning to cook from a line chef, and missing out on all that gourmet cooking….but hey, to each their own. Then when they are in the mid 30’s to 40’s they have these mid life crisis and need to explore and experience what they missed in youth= 50% divorce rate.
I think that premarital abstinence is the leading cause of middle age divorce in my humble opinion. Both my husband and I were wild in our 20’s. Now in our 40’s, we kick back and watch our friends who married young or abstained from sex, we watch with horror as their marriages dissolve and their kids suffer. When faced with an opportunity or temptation it does not seem like anything better that what I’ve already had, and does not seem that appealing to have a fling. Yet many of my girlfriends are now cheating and they say they feel they missed out or did not have enough experience to make the marriage decision.
It is inconceivable to me to marry someone with out having sex first, like buying a car thinking it had a super-charged engine and getting it home, driving it off the lot and being stuck with a 4 cylinder engine for life. Good luck though, someone has to keep the 4 banger warm, I guess.
I just think you’ve got to ride a few horses to find one that fits, but hey, if you only ride one horse, then without anything to compare it too, it must be great by default. That little minature pony might make you happy, but I’m glad I found a raging stallion even though it took 10 years to find.

@Mizuki: Gotta say, for a post fraught with condescending and assumptive remarks, the metaphors were quite vivid.

While I don’t doubt the experiences of your friends, I can cite just as many friends who are happily married to their “first” and friends who have suffered horrible divorces after much field playing. I don’t see it as relevant personally.

What is relevant is your commitment to the other person (who is, ideally, your best friend), your respect for each other, and your willingness to be adventuress and open minded in the bedroom.

Whether they are your first or fortieth shouldn’t matter (although after a certain amount of traffic, it must be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway; but I digress)

I assure you, I am anything but “miniature” in the sack (or anywhere else for that matter).

Very well stated, cprevite.

I was far too old (been trying to find someone who would be willing to do it with me for five years), and it was ok. We were both virgins, so we weren’t quite sure how to make it go well. Still, it was special, because I felt like I was finally being allowed into this club that everyone else had a pass to, and I could only imagine.

No regrets, except I wish we had never broken up. Our breakup made it hard for me to connect with other women for perhaps a decade.

by the way, it really will be my first time… :)

@chutterhanban: thank you very much. And tell us how it goes, heh heh. We care.

ha. we’ll see how much i like to “kiss” and tell

I was 16…I think I was too young… however weve been together ever since !!!

18, no regrets.. i love him.. it was special.. (i cried .. :P) and no i wouldnt change anything

I don’t feel I was too young.
I regret who it was with, and the circumstances of how it happened.
He acted like it was, no it was not.

Fuck waiting for marriage, I never planned on that.

The first time I had sex was inside of a bathroom. It wasn’t something that I regretted unitl we broke up… The reason being because now I took that special thing away from her and I just wish that I could have done it some place more special. That was four years ago and right now im 19. I sill think about it from time to time.. And I wish I could go back to stop us. She was a beautiful girl and she left my life without ever saying goodbye. But yeah much to young.