How long should you "wait for someone" if they say that they need time to think about things (when in a relationship)?

Say:

“Girlfriend, look; I love you a whole bunch, but I’m not gonna just sit here and brood over our situation until an undetermined point in the future. I don’t know what this is doing to you, but it’s sure as hell not healthy for me. You’ve already had a few weeks to ‘think about things,’ so now it’s time you offer me a little bit more about how you feel. Tell me what you’ve been thinking about. What are on your pros and cons lists? We can talk through the way you feel together, but then we need to come to a decision—are we going to be together or not? It’s ridiculous for you to just tell me to keep waiting. If a relationship is meant to be, then it is. If it isn’t, then it isn’t. So which one is it going to be? Let me know so I can be with you or move on with my life. I won’t wait anymore.”

Don’t put your best interests on hold for someone else. Make your feelings known, let her decide if you’re worthy now, then move forward accordingly. Making you wait her out seems like a power trip, don’t give her that control.

Aren’t there songs about this situation? “You don’t really love me, you just keep me hangin’ onnnn…”

I would have a talk, and then if she doesn’t want you back, move on. It’s got to be better than what you’re going through now.

To me it’s one month. If after one month the person is still “thinking about things” and hasn’t attempted to talk with me whatsoever about the issues, well that’s not the amount of commitment I’m looking for in a relationship, so I’d move on.

All great advice above^^ remember you also have a (very important) stake in the outcome of this “cooling off” period. I too say set a hard date and convey that clearly and with compassion. Thereafter, either move forward or move on-you’re worth it.

You SHOULDN’T wait. What kind of “carp” is that?

Wait until the next sexy thing on 2 legs comes your way and pounce like Mufasa.

@LKK85, it seems reasonable to me.

Only you can really answer this question. How long are you willing to wait? Whatever amount of time that may be, let her know. That said, you shouldn’t wait for too very long…it won’t be good for you in the long run.

Start dating other girls and see how fast times flies.

I think needing space is a valid thing. Personally, I think a month is about as long as I’d be willing to go, at which point I would have to say that it feels crappy to be strung along and if we can’t talk about things, then I have to move on.

i really wish there was a perfect answer for this. im dealing with the same situation right now, and have been for a while. it seems never ending because everytime you get confident enough to think you will be alright, you lose yourself in your mind and start thinking about her again. honestly for me, the best thing to cope is to just make yourself busy. surround yourself with people who care, and reasure yourself that youre not alone, or useless without her. being in my situation, all i can say is hang in there and hopefull this whole situation will make you stronger rather than damage you.

Honestly, this is one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through in my life. And, the waiting and not knowing (she still feels that she needs time to sort through her thoughts) is killing me and is like one big mindfuck. I love her like you wouldn’t believe, but, I don’t know how much more of this that I can take. It’s starting to affect my health (my nerves are bad).

Just move on .. thats what most people around you will say… the waiting game is never a good thing to be playing in the first place.

I’m also a girl and I’m going through the same thing my girlfriend has told me that she needs to do what’s best for her right now. So here I am thinking and wondering if we are ever going to get back together. We have been together for nine and a half years and I really thought everything was going fine but I was wrong. I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m going crazy just wondering what’s going to happen. I try and stay strong but it’s hard. I love her so much I feel like I can’t live without her. All I can say try to do what’s best for you.

I am in the exact situatation, it is driving me crazy. I need to find the ability to let go somehow…The thought of her never coming back scares the shit out of me..