Have you been in any "last words" situations in your life?

This past October my father uttered his last words to me. They were: “Make sure (my daughter) remembers her Papa.”

Only in my first marriage when I took my wedding vows and said “I do”.

The very last time I saw my grandmother, It was during a time that I was having a family reunion. So, the day we were leaving, (we left at night) I was playing with my cousins that afternoon. Then, eventually my mom told me that grandmother would kind-of flinch or twitch, as if skipping a heartbeat whenever me and my cousins would make a loud BANG! (which was frequent). My mom told me about this and she said to tell the cousins. I told my cousins, but they didn’t stop. I did 1 minute later and sat with the adults (probably the main reason was because the cousins were picking on me——i was 4 and all the rest were older than me so It’s hard). Then, when we were leaving, my grandmother said to me (and I could barely make out the words): “Alexander, thank you. I love you” “I love you” I said back and hugged her. I was SO glad that I chose to stop playing with my cousins because one morning about a month later [my cousins and my WHOLE dad’s family live in new york and I live in Boston, so I do not see them often at all. Usually only 2 or 3 times a year] my dad had got a call saying that my grandmother had died. She had died in her sleep——probably the best way to die. I was petrified. I literally couldn’t move. Even though this was the second death that I experienced, it seemed horrible. I reminisced about the day when me and my cousins were making big “BANGS” and grandmother was flinching. I didn’t cry, but my brother did (and he’s 4 years older than me.) He cried not because he never stopped playing with his cousins not at all. He probably didn’t even remember that——I was probably the only one who did. He just is a crybaby. Then I saw himunder the kitchen table with a long face. That’s what he does when his heart is broken. Wow. Later that day, I looked out the window. She had died in January, I believe the 16th but not entirely sure. Her birthday was to be the 29th. Only 2 weeks away. She had been 93 going on 94. I stared out the window into the snowy scene for minutes, and then I caught a picture of my grandmother, never to be on this earth again. To this day, I still mark the day she died, and even her birthday.

RIP grandmother. I love you.

wow

@cprevite: I’m sobbing now.

I talked to my mom the night before she died of cancer. We lived 800 miles apart & it was gut wrenching. We had flown up here just a little over a week before to see her. She barely had the strength to talk, & I was crying so hard I could hardly talk myself, but we said we loved each other & I told her what a wonderful mom she’d been to me. She told me to pick whatever music I wanted for her service, that she knew it’d be perfect. Living in my parents’ house now, they’re all around me here & it’s a comfort.

Ejoy it

Enjoy it

@ jbfletcherfan

lurve for being open and honest. Whatta sad story.

@90s kid…thank you. This all happened in ‘99, but it seems just like yesterday.

In the 90’s?? D: My first death experience was when I wassss 8? 2003. My greatgrandfather died. RIP

That’s a very young age to have to experience it.

I just remember my uncle died when I was an infant. But I couldn’t comprehend any of it.

Yes. Sometimes it’s hard for adults to comprehend it, too.

I pray everyday that my parents, or my nonni (grandparents in Italian) and my aunt don’t die. We are so close. We celebrate all the holidays together. I don’t know what it would be like without one of them. Also pray for my brother…...i guess….................

It’s hard to think of your parents dying. I know that all too well. My dad died in ‘74. Since I’m an only child, I was daddy’s girl. Mom & I then just had each other. Then when she died, even with a loving husband, two daughters & two grandbabies, I felt like I was all alone in the world. There’s been 100’s of times when I’ve wanted to tell her something…ask her something, & she isn’t here. There’s nothing like the love of a parent. You’re young. Hopefully, you’ll have your family for a long, long time. :-)

I’m praying for you—but the most famous people are inspired because of deaths like that. Have you ever read a book about a famous person with both parents? rarely. Good luck in life. I still feel sorry. I am only 14 and pray that my family stays in god health.

Thank you. And I pray that your family is all together for many years to come. You know what I miss the most? Hearing recollections about people & things that happened years ago. Get as much family history & background now that you can. The older you get, you think about stuff like that. And I now have no one to ask about such things.

I miss that, too. Finally someone who hares that trait. Terrible things from my past. Examples:

My nonni/aunt’s (I know its a funny word but hey it’s Italian) hotel is my favoite place to be. I go there in the summer and work for them. I love it. Today, they are thinking of selling it because they are getting old. I pray to God this doesn’t happen. In 1989, my parents married. June 10th. Everything was well. October 4th- nonni/aunt close down their hotel for the season (they are open in summmer only). October 19th, Thursday. Call from person saying that their hotel was inflamed. They rushed to the scene. And my nonna (grandmother) says that one of the worst things that she has ever seen is the fury of the fire, wrecking their property, costing them money, and it is “as the fire was like Lucifer on earth”. Poor nonna having to experience that.
Now this is where I come into play. I can picture all of October 19th, 1989 in my head. It is because I am always bothering my nonni (grandparents) for details on everything. If I could only go back to that day. I know it’s terrible day but I want to see my summer home going down. I just want to go to try to stop it. Today, it is open and remodeled, but I would die to see what It looked like back in the 80’s. I can only see it in my mind because my nonni have explained it to me. Also, Ihave uncovered lost pictures of the old hotel. How beautiful it was—even in the 80’s. If u want more info just tell me.

Second Story—
1984. My great grandfather dies. Now I am not alive yet. My parents aren’t even married! So, my dad-to-be is sad because his dad grandfather died. Then, his great uncle, Donald, take all of my great grandfather’s money. From that point, my family almost excludes Donald from the family. Now, every family reunion on my dad’s side, I always have this odd feeling or notion that someone is missing. And it is not just because my grandmother just died, it is that Donald isn’t here. Even though he is mean (I shouldn’t get into the detail of what he did—too gruesome), I want to meet him. I want proof that he is really a bad person.

There is more but those are some.
RIP greatgrandfather,grandmother, and Silver Wave Hotel back in the 80’s (but it is up and running now)

Honey, everyone has their own interpretaion of ‘mean’. He very well may be. But I admire you for wanting to meet him for yourself. Then YOU decide how you think he is. You’re old enough to think for yourself. If he’s hateful to you, then so be it. Stay away fom him. But he may react to you differently. Only by meeting him in person can you made that distinction.

Exactly.

I’ve seen many people die, but in all honesty the only “dying words” I’ve ever heard were “allahu akhbar”. No, it didn’t leave much of an impression on me, except that I agreed with him, as my platoon and I were the ones still standing.

I’m a hospice worker and I’ve seen many people die, but have only heard a few “last words”. I think the reason for this was because in the US hospice I work in, people are often on morphine for pain when they die, so they are already unconscious.

The last words I heard were from 2 women (but both died at different times) in Kolkata when I was there to take care of the dying. I was the only one who heard but both times, the words were in Bengali so I didn’t understand, nor did I remember.

That’s one of those things that still really bothers me to this day. The diseases, bodily fluids, and heat that I dealt with didn’t bother me as much as me totally not registering/remembering the last words of those 2 women.

@seekingwolf…..I so admire you for what you do. We had hospice for my mom & they do the work of the angels. One woman got so attached to my mom that she came to the funeral home. She said it was a no-no, to get attached to a patient, but she did my mom. She said she could get in trouble just for being there, but that she just had to come. She was such a sweetie. Every penny we received in memorials went back to the hospice program here. I could never do it, & I SO admire those who do.

@jbfletcherfan I’m so glad to hear that your mother was in a hospice and was taken care of well. I hope my parents get the same experience when they are older. The hospice I work at is clean and has some medical equipment, but used to be a home, so it’s very homey and comforting for the patients. I wonder if your mother’s hospice was like that too…

Yes, it is considered a no-no to get “too” attached to patients, but it’s kind of fuzzy and it’s a grey area. At least in my hospice, volunteers are encouraged to go to the funerals and wakes because it helps the families as well as ourselves. I believe it’s totally appropriate. I grew close with one woman I took care of…ah, but that’s another story within itself.

I honestly wasn’t sure if I could do hospice either, but now I learned that I can. It’s all about confidence and remembering that there’s always a human on the bed, no matter if they are unconscious or very ill. I can’t do hospice while I’m in college (no facilities, stigma, etc) but I volunteer when I’m home. In fact, I’m doing a shift from 8pm-12 am on Christmas eve…(better than last year, I was there until 4 am!) and then again on Christmas and the day after. It’s a really something I look forward to doing, because I’m helping people.

@seekingwolf, the hospice gals came here to the house. It was great that she could stay here at home in her own surroundings. God bless you for the work you do. :-)

This is a good question, even though it makes me sad. But it is a part of life. lurve

It was 3 years ego. Me, my mom,dad was staying on the railway station. I was about to take a train to the airport to take a fly to USA. I told them I’m going to USA like a student for 4 month, but it may be possibility I’ll stay there for longer. And we all knew that it was not going to be like that – I will stay in US. But we all knew it is better there – not here. So they did not say anything.Last second….I sow my mom was about to cry I told “please don’t”....than dad gave me the last hug and didn’t let me go just for a second and said “I’m sorry but I’m crying…..”
I see them almost every day with web-camera, but it is hard not to nave those hugs…..
(sorry for my English)

that’s an awesome story. that must be hard for you.

….It is…but for now I’m thinking what are going to be my FIRST words when I see them :)

@oksana, what a sweet story. You won’t have to think about what to say to them when you see them. Good old “I love you..I missed you” would do just fine. I hope you’ll see them soon.

I wasn’t there for it, but a family friend died on Christmas and his last words were pretty great, so I thought I’d share. His wife and one of his two sons were there with him. He wagged a finger at them and smiled and said, “You two are trouble.”

I spent the summer caring for my Grandfather after he’d had surgery. Every time I went out for a walk to get some exercise he’d call me a whore and accuse me of meeting men – he was nuts. He had cheated on my grandmother like crazy for years, and had been a drunk. But in their old age, he’d taken good care of things, and they had a nice condo in FL and were content. So there I was, about to take a taxi to the airport to come home, and my Grandmother starts crying and crying and saying she just knows we’ll never see each other again. When I got into the taxi, I was SO RELIEVED to be seeing the back of that place, and I just told the taxi driver all the horrible things that had happened that summer – that he didn’t even charge me when he dropped me off at the airport. A few months later my grandmother died, and I felt terrible because she had been right, and I felt guilty for thinking bad thoughts about her, when it turned out it was my Grandfather who had been terrible all along….when my daughter was born, I named her after my Grandmother, as a way to honor her memory.

Just this past Wednesday I was at my job as a social worker. My employee just had a heated argument with a coworker that she did not get along with. She had uncharacteristically snapped at this person. She turned to both of us and said that she was sorry because she never snaps like that. She walked back to the water cooler and returned to her desk with a cup of water. She sat down and about 30 seconds went by – I then heard her say “oh, my god” and looked over to see her hunched over with her head down. I thought she was crying until I saw her cup of water spilling all over her desk. I ran over and grabbed her, she had very hindered breathing and her eyes were rolling back in her head. Her limbs were tensing up and she began to slide out of her seat. I laid her down on the floor and we called the ambulance. We got the news the next day from her husband that she had a ruptured brain aneurysm. It was by far the most scary moment of my life. She was about to have her first grandchild in about 3 weeks. I hope I never experience the true last spoken words of another unless it’s a person that is terminal and we are saying our goodbyes. It was crazy and the moments just keep replaying in my head.

@ryan6577 Just imagine how her co-worker who had the heated argument with her feels. That would haunt me for the rest of my life.