Funniest mispeak?

Ha ha! I remember a client bringing his dog in for it’s shots, and when the doctor said ‘this one is for distemper,” the guy actually said… don’t give him that one. he’s a guard dog, and I want him to be mean!!

Another guy looked at his dog’s ear mites under the microscope and yelled Monsters!!

I once had a friend (a teacher, no less) who mispoke nearly every time she opened her mouth. Examples: “I just saw thunder!” (Um, no you didn’t.) “He was in the 38th medallion.” (She meant battalion.) She also said ‘Valen- times Day’. I’m one of those awful people who correct others, but with her I had to stop…it was just too often!

My youngest daughter said ‘pacuter’ for computer for several years. For some reason, that always made me smile.

More than once I’ve picked up a letter at a mailbox (I’m a mailman, in case some don’t know) that had “Does not resign here” written on it.
Also, I have a friend who often has “a scratch to itch.”

Oh gosh, I love these… ha. Just off the top of my head I have heard someone say she was an “expected mommy”. I have another friend who says everything is “crucial” when it makes absolutely no sense. She’d always tell me “you’re so crucial kels” when I was being a bitch or something. Or if she was fighting with her fiance “I was mad, it was pretty crucial.” Ha.

And the best one of all, my son says “bup” when he wants down.

Oh I get these on a daily basis – an added bonus of working with non-native English speakers :)
Most recent example was someone saying “constipated” when they meant “congested”. It was particularly funny because it was referring to someone else sounding like they have a cold :)

He he he, the first side bar question is about Sarah Palin. Hmmm, I wonder why she would show up in a question about spoken bloopers? =====>

see this thread

A friend who was planning her wedding told me she was having roses and baby’s breasts in her bouquet….I told her it was baby’s breath, but she didn’t believe me!

My mother worked with a woman who loved her new radio tires.

@ autumn
HAHA
Thank you for making me laugh. I needed it.

these are newspaper bloopers. Always make me laugh.

My mother-in-law suggested that I plant “cannons” in my front yard. (Canna)

@AP: Well, that’d be a different look for sure!

@augustian, it’s a good defense against “Indians” who live in Indiana…

My boss is constantly correcting me, but I don’t have the heart to tell her the word is SUPPOSEDLY which she pronounces “supposebly” and she’s not the only one I hear say it this way. I also hate to hear her say “yesterdy”. It’s so annoying, but what can you say to someone who thinks they’re always right.

@joni- YESSS!! Supposebly drives me nuts!

And most people say mischivous wrong. Oh oh oh!!! And in Texas a welT is a welP. I hate that one. And oil is ol. *shivers** I don’t like Texas.

@krose, I know exactly what you mean. I was born and raised in Texas, but thank goodness I had an excellent english and grammar teacher! lol

I think we might get some hell for this… prepare yourself.

Try living in the south, where there are apparently no words that end with a “g”. Going is “goin”, something is “sumthin”, and so on. It’s so tiresome.

My favorites are probably unintentional puns. I vaguely recall having a conversation with someone online about old age and a friends response was “Go go youthanasia!”

My auntie rang up and told my mum that she was getting one of those new STD TV’s (Obviously she meant LCD, very funny though)

my mom told me I was a “piece of shit” and since she never swears I am assuming she had too much nog… total misspeak its funny haha!

@syz also “sister” strangely translates to “fiancee” in the south…

@syz speaking of the south, how about calling one’s children Young uns? I met a man in Florida who likes to say he is dehyphenated when he is really thirsty!

Ones I’ve heard are:

Liberry (Library)

I am famined. (famished)

Can you believe her velocity? (audacity)

@ joni

Mondeee
Tuesdee
Wednesdee
Thursdeee

I hate that!

How do you say adult?

A dolt
A dolt
A dult
A dult

I say A dult

I say it the same way, but I’ve heard more than southerners pronounce it all the other ways. We also don’t call all the “In-juns” Co-mane-chees…LMAO

Tracture = Tractor
Winda = Window
Pellow = Pillow

@ madcaper

winda=rhode island accent

Pahk the cah in the hahvahd yahd.

And Joni my dad always uses Ingine it annoys me.

@ 90s winda is in the form of a redneck accent that transcends state boundaries…
clearly you have never been to Ohio! haha

I say pellow and melk… I blame it on my sisters!!

@ madcapper

Oooh. I live in Boston and go to Providence a lot so yea. I still have some trouble deciphering Boston accent from Providence :S.
I have been to Ohio, but only for a plain stop :).

@ 90’s haha right on man, I was just making a joke, unfortunately the spelling of winda could be taken in a few accents which can’t be detected via text so I think we are both right