Why is it that nice people get burned (relationships)? Is it the partner that they choose?

treatly? :-p

typo..

Probably. Some people think they are much nicer than they really are, though.

In cases I’ve seen, often the partner they choose is just not a good fit for them. To exacerbate the situation, they are typically… well… too nice to their partner when they do something not so nice. It sends the subconscious message to their partner that the behavior is acceptable and it also devalues the “nice” one. There’s nothing wrong with a nice person expecting reciprocal behavior from their partner, but they also can’t expect to change their partner into someone nice (however much potential seems to be there). I know I’ve been guilty of tolerating behavior I really shouldn’t have just because I could see all the potential my boyfriend had. After 6 years, I finally came to realize that potential or no, I had to be happy with him exactly as he was even if he never changed. I wasn’t, not because he was a horrible person, but because we just weren’t quite the right fit (although we are still friends now, 10+ years later). Many people just aren’t honest enough with themselves about what they want/need in a relationship and what they really have in a current relationship.

Also, people often seem to think that if a relationship fails that it has to be someone’s fault. Fact is, some people just aren’t quite right for each other, no matter how wonderful they might be as individuals. Consequently, they stay in relationships until matters reach a breaking point – and then someone usually gets hurt.

No one knows what goes on in the relationships of other people. Your best friend, who is sweet and kind, might be a controlling bitch with her SO. Nice is relative.

Everyone gets burned. That’s the nature of relationships.

it’s a part of a relationship. if it doesn’t, then there’s definitely something wrong than that.

Not-nice people get hurt too.

I think this is a generalization that is not always true. I think many nice people do very well in relationships.

It does depend on who you choose. It also depends on whether you are as nice to yourself as you are to others. You need to value yourself and your emotional well being enough to set boundaries so a partner does not treat you badly.

Having once been walked on, you need to look for the signals well before you are in a committed relationship. At the first sign, you walk—because you believe inside that you deserve better.

If it’s happened a lot, you ask yourself if you are looking at nice people as options as partners for you? Does it feel good when people are nice to you or do avoid that?. The answers to those questions should make you look hard at your criteria for choosing a partner.

You’re kinda right. I am not sure but a lot of nice people in my family that happened.

Everyone gets hurt in relationships.
Not nice people probably just elicit less sympathy.

in my opinion, nicer people are simply more unaccustomed to dealing with uglier situations. so when something goes bad, their sensitivity amplifies the negative.