Do you know any narcissistic people?

My world is littered with them.

Enough with your question let’s talk about me.

They are like gnats on the face of the earth- buzzing and buzzing
not realizing- or CARING how much they bore others…

Yeah- they are in my world too.

Careful about confusing narcissism and self confidence.

At worst it is called Borderline Personality Disorder. See my mother for a pristine example, in her natural habitat.

Like cdw, I’m surrounded by them, but in many cases I think that may be my own fault.

I find personalities and relationships fascinating, but I also think I tend to give narcissists the attention they require, so it works out well. I just have to understand that maintaining friendship with them requires understanding their total limitations. These are not the friends I call during a crisis or if I need anything at all. I also have to come to terms with the fact that they can be largely incapable of sympathy for other people; which I cannot relate to in any way. It’s infuriating but I readjust my expectations of them.

I have a friend who’s on such an extreme end of it, as one component of his narcissism he literally stages extensive and complicated solo photo shoots of himself so that he can post them all over his social networking sites. He has become his own, multimedia PR machine, selling himself as a brand. It’s crazy.

and don’t get me started about my mother…

Yeah – you’ll find my mother having tea with augustlan’s mom.

throw in an inability to tell the truth, and I finally said bye bye

Then there’s the more benign version. With my friend, there’s talking and waiting to talk – never listening. I love her to death, but can only take her in small doses.

I know one thing for sure, you’ll never find any narcissistic people on a Q&A site like this…

Wow, I am “dating” someone who seems to to be exactly what you are all describing to an extreme. But I never knew there were actual terms for people like ‘him’. I just thought he was a special that way, and just had issues I had to accept and i guess, live with.
How does one help these type of people love sincerely, and not only when it pertains to them? How does one make them realize how selfish they are being?
I get so frustrated.
:/

My best friend, who I’ve known for 13 years, is at least borderline narcissistic, I think. It’s very hard to try and talk to her about anything difficult going on in my life because she just doesn’t seem to listen that well. Even on days where I’m obviously very emotional because something negative happened and I’m pouring my heart out to her, a lot of times all she says is, “Yeah” or something else really short. And will then proceed to pour her heart out about something.

She’s pregnant right now, about eight months. So trying to talk to her about anything other than her pregnancy is pretty much impossible. I get very frustrated because I understand her excitement and don’t want to be rude by getting irritated when it’s all she ever talks about, but at the same time, I feel justified in having these feelings. It’s a difficult situation.

I do know she loves me, but yeah. It’s difficult.

@millastrellas: If your BF truly has BPD, sadly there isn’t much you can do about it. Even once they know they have this condition, most BPDs can’t understand how it impacts other people. To a BPD, the world revolves around them and rightly so! Good luck to you.

I was actually in a long-term relationship with somebody who would NOT let you interrupt him, not even to interject something in a normal conversational manner. It was “disrespectful”. Why I put up with that for so long, I still don’t know. Eventually I told him that his monolouging was incredibly tiresome, and he said – and this is years after being together – “Well I can’t help it if it goes over your head.” Pfff see ya.

Are you people all insomniacs? I asked this question in the early morning Eastern time and am surprised at the number of reeponses.

It may or may not be obvious that I am working on some personal issues and have been using the forum here to explore related questions.

My mother is a narcissist and my parents’ marriage worked because my father was singularly devoted to her. I wonder if I am drawn to narcissists in part due to unresolved childhood conflicts.

An interesting question related to narcissists is why in general people are attracted to them. In part it might be that these people put on a good show, even if it is only about themselves. They can be quite charming and witty. I think also that many people have too weak ego attachment and are willing to surrender their interests to someone else. And finally, part of it is that narcissists are not all bad and people are drawn to whatever good qualities they have.

Insomniac, here…I’m on East coast time, too. I think you’re on to something…are you a male? We often seek out mates (without even realizing it) that remind us of our parent(s). Also, my mom is quite charming and witty and smart, on the surface. Dig a little deeper though, and you find an empty shell needing constant filling at someone else’s expense.

@LostInParadise: You must be my sibling – because that’s exactly how my parents functioned.

It was SO frustrating seeing an otherwise wonderful guy toss many people who loved him (me included) under the bus in service to my mother.

You are correct that these people are very charming and attract many friends. Once someone figures them out however – all hell breaks loose.

@ augustian, thanks for the feedback. The thing is, he has told me he realizes he has issues and how it isn’t ‘normal’ (if you may) , but of course what hurt more was him saying he didnt know if he would ever change. And thinking about it, he is the same person I met and I feel so selfish trying to change him, so I decided to just accept it and pray for the best.

@millastrellas: I never give direct relationship advice but…
run for your life!

sigh
thank you for the advice, cprevite.

Milla: all you can do is pray for the best. Sounds like he may be a little self destructive and you can’t put yourself in the middle of that.

Thanks Judochop. ah, I hate when I feel I start feeling sorry for myself! It’s so lame. But I do appreciate your all’s advice, and I am going to try and do as much as I can to make it work. I hope it is not something I later regret. I am trying to be positive! :) Does anyone have a successful relationship here with someone who is narcissistic?

Anyone?

@milla: There are a lot of resources on the web such as this as well as tons of other sites and online support communities. Just look up narcissistic personality disorder and I think you’ll see some traits you recognize. The prospects for making it work look a little bleak, but at least it will validate some of your perspectives and you can learn some coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, they require the kinds of compromise I would never be able to stick it out for. Good luck to you : )

My husband’s friend/co-worker. Irritates the hell out of me.

We are all a little narcissistic. True narcissists are rare; but unfortunately, assholes are everywhere.

thanks figbash. :)

oh lorddd, by that definition, i most definitely do.

@Figbash, I just read over the Do’s and Dont’s of being with a narcissist, and boy, do I have a lot to deal with. Thanks again.

NOT ME.

Yes, I do know some. I created a t-shirt for them:

“I could be smug, but I’m above all that.”

(C) 1996. Yes, really.

just about every teenager i know is narcisstic :)

I know a few. I stay completely away from them. From the moment I realize they are narcissists, it’s about 10 seconds before I am completely finished with them. I detest selfishness and abuse of any type, so I am unwilling to engage with them. They can find their admiration elsewhere. They can blame me for being to stupid to recognize perfection when it’s standing before me. They can do what makes them feel good as long as they stay away from me.