Why do so many people think that alcohol must be present for people to have fun?

I agree, I come from a family with alcohol issues myself. I often feel I am in the minority with this subject. There have been many social gatherings that I just don’t want to go to because I can’t stand being around people that have been drinking too much. I have also missed many fun activities because alcohol was not involved. Example: While visiting relatives in Seattle, I thought it would be great to take a cruise around Puget Sound, but a few in the group did not want to go because this boat did not serve alcohol. Instead, we went to a bar. How sad, we could go to a bar in our home town! I guess I really haven’t answered your question, I just agree that it seems the majority of people feel they need alcohol for fun.

@jons: I thought I was the only person who felt this way.

@cdwccrn: there are at least a few of us, hopefully more!

Count me in.

While there were many alcoholics in my family (and drug addicts, and compulsive gamblers) – I certainly did my fair share of drinking in HS. I bored of it quickly and don’t really enjoy the taste.

As an adult I simply see no need for it as a “social lubricant” if you will. I might have 6 beers a year if I’m lucky. I do enjoy a couple of wines (Argentine malbec), but again, maybe a handful of glasses a year.

I actually have a hard time relating to people socially if drinking is mandatory for them to have a good time. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a beverage. If you like the flavor, drink it as you would any other beverage. Beyond that, I don’t understand it.

We (we being my social circle) certainly don’t find alcohol must be present. But we also love drinking. I mean, not just anything, we’re into snobby beers and extremely delicious cocktails. Mostly snobby beers. Anyway, if we were going on a trip (especially to Seattle), we’d eat somewhere that also showcases the local microbrews. It would be a shame to miss out—it’s part of the local culture.

I think it is good and important to appreciate the culture you are visiting and that may include drinking their beer or wine if they are known for it. It also includes going to museums and seeing other local sights. I’m firmly of the opinion that drinking should be done either educationally (you’re visiting somewhere and they are known for a certain drink) or because you honestly find it to be delicious. The same can be said for food.

In cities you usually get a chance to take public transit or a cab, which takes care of the drunk driving issue. Or you know someone like my boyfriend who never drinks. He just doesn’t think it is tasty, so he doesn’t do it. So I really don’t worry about drunk driving—in my experience people crash somewhere for the night, take a cab, or take the bus/train home,

Good point EmpressPixie. I do enjoy a few beers myself, but it’s always at home. When we go out, which is very rare anymore, I am always the designated driver. We did visit a fine brewery in Seattle, but that’s pretty much ALL that we did. I like to experience many things about a locale, not just one aspect of it, and I certainly don’t need alcohol to enjoy it.

Upside: Alcohol is a social lubricant and it helps otherwise shy people socialize, in moderation.

Downside: The problem is that since it tends to remove inhibition and impair judgement, it is difficult to keep in moderation.

Downside: Who really needs empty calories?

Upside: It’s so delicious. (I think this is the pro that directly confronts the con of empty calories. Or at least, those are the two things at war when I want to diet, but would also really, really like a bit of that really yummy beer.)

. o O ( Mmmmm,... beer…)

Through the media, often portrayed in movies, the characters are shown having a great time at a party with alcohol. Rarely do they show the downside or the people who dont have fun with alcohol. Celwbrities also have a big influence. Remember Lindsay Lohan and the Paris Hilton fiasco?

Grisson had it spot on. It’s a social lubricant. People are less shy with it and are braver, I guess you could say. Last year, I was at a party where there was a lot of alcohol (thankfully for me, no one encouraged me to drink) and there was this one guy who I tried to get to dance with me. His response? “I need to be way more drunk. Come back when I’ve had some more beers.” When he finally did get out and dance with me, he was just so surprised that I was neither drunk nor high and that I was having a grand old time. Another time, I met a guy briefly and then went on to talk to other people. I recently saw him again and just did not remember meeting him. He thought I didn’t remember him because I’d been drunk. In reality, I was just immediately comfortable with everyone I met and had met him so briefly which is why I didn’t remember him.

I think people also tend to drink if alcohol is available. If they’re at a party and there isn’t alcohol, they don’t necessarily leave, they just don’t drink. However, if there is alcohol, then they drink.

Most people consider themselves shy and inhibited. When you’re shy, you have a hard time starting up conversations. Alcohol, of course, is one way of lowering inhibitions. For the college age crowd, it lets them hookup for sex more easily.

The problem is that many people don’t know any other way to get to know people. We don’t learn social skills in school or anything, and even if it were a subject, no one would feel comfortable teaching it. It’s too touchy-feely. Meeting other people is a touchy-feely thing, and no one wants to admit to liking touchy-feely stuff. Of course, in secret, that’s what everyone craves.

So some folks are trying to develop other social technologies that enable people to meet in less formal (read date) situations. People use dances for this, and other activities. There are even “cuddle” parties that help folks feel more comfortable with non-sexual intimacy.

Of course, most people hear about these things, turn around, and say, “Bartender, give me a drink!”

@KG: If someone I asked to dance said that to me, there would probably be physical violence in his future. Unless he was very specific about not dancing at all until he was wasted.

@empress: I probably should have specified. That is what he meant. He was hiding in the corner until he and his buddy got drunk enough to want to dance. Meanwhile, there was a line of ladies to dance with them both even before they got drunk.

Our greater family seems, by and large, to have a gene that makes drinking alcohol, even a little, very
unpleasant. I would love to enjoy a glass or two of wine, but the headaches and gippy tummy arrive fast. And as for hard liquor, I fit under the rubric, “One drink, one drunk.”

I am sociable and can make small talk easily for a while. But I can also understand the issue of the “social lubricant.” But I have memories of having to avoid sloppy drunks when I was young. Nothing like having a date barf at curbside to put the kaibosh on romance. And as an adult, I noticed that married men (often good friends) came on to me when drunk and then had amnesia when sobered up. “Curious,” I though.

Now food….that’s a different issue.

I don’t think that alcohol must be present to have a good time—but I’ve found that many gatherings where alcohol is not present are dull as dishwater, because most people can’t make interesting small talk and have nothing they’re passionate about (or, possibly more likely, have nothing they’re passionate about that they’re comfortable talking about at a dry party). The slight loss of inhibitions that comes from one or two drinks is usually enough to offset this.

And I’m not a terribly heavy drinker myself—in my dotage I’ve become far more interested in quality over quantity. And I tend to go out for beer because having a beer at home means I’m stuck with what I can buy in six-packs—going out means I get to try barley wine and trippelbock and Belgian dark wheat ales without having to commit to an entire six-pack of each.

Mmmmm, gail. I’d be happy to give you a tour of Philadelphia restaurants! Food! Now you’re talking my language!

@Dal: I lived in East Falls for 13 years. One of my daughter’s closest friends’ father ran a restaurant in Center City and my youngest step-son was a waiter at several others. OTOH, those greasy cheese steaks…walking indigestion. But thanks for the offer.

@cw: What you describe seems to illustrate a dependence of a different kind and I think that’s what cdwccrn is talking about. It’s not necessarily a physical dependence, but people tend to be locked into the idea that they can’t have a good time without alcohol. you know what I do to encourage interesting conversation? I talk! I go up to someone and say, “Hey, that is a really cool tattoo. Where did you get it done?” or “I remember you told me you’re a French major, do you want to study in France?” I think if more people figured out that they don’t need alcohol to loosen their tongues, dry parties wouldn’t be as boring as everyone seems to think.

Alcohol doesn’t have to be present for a good time, it’s just nice to have for people who are responsable enough to enjoy it. It’s not necessary for food to be at a party, but it’s nicer when there is. Alcohol isn’t what kills people in car accidents, it’s the people who are to immature to know how to handle it.

I know many responsible people that decided to drive a vehicle drunk. They were just being too immature at the moment.

I said “food.” I didn’t mean cheese steaks. I don’t think that cheese steaks are very effective as ice breakers. Nor do I think they make for very erudite conversation.

Is this funny? Are the flutherers drunk or sober? Conversation not too erudite, but hey, I am sober now.

@gailcalled This sounds like a poll. (Does fluther do polls?) Anyway, I’m fluthering sober. (Though some thinkle peop that I am drunk).

No, I am simply expanding on this ^^ question.Do you need alcohol to have fun? It’s a different perception from both sides of the bottle.

Get Drunk – Charles Baudelaire

I didn’t drink for about 20 years (health issues meant one sip = throwing up). I still had fun everywhere I went. I am pretty comfortable with small talk, etc. However, I know tons of people that are in agony in those situations, unless they’ve had a drink. It’s a kind of self-medication for them. If I’m anxious, I take a Xanax. For them it’s a beer.

I am able to drink now, but am such a lightweight that I drink one or two beers and get silly. Silly can be a lot of fun. I don’t think being falling down drunk is ever fun.

@Grissson; Thank you for introducing me to the heretofore unknown poem of Baudelaire. I l consider that my gift for today.

Last lines in French;

“Il est l’heure de s’enivrer!
Pour n’être pas les esclaves martyrisés du Temps,
enivrez-vous;
enivrez-vous sans cesse!
De vin, de poésie ou de vertu, à votre guise.”

I thought that “fardel” was an awfully schmancy-pants translation of “le fardeau, ” however.

Hamlet talked about “fardels bear.” My daughter, when very young, had a Teddy bear we named Fardels.

@Gailcalled: [corrected wrong attribution, my bad] You’re welcome. I remembered enjoying this one in French Lit class sometime back in the Jurassic era. It is better in French, though my ability in that language is several epochs stale.

Gailcalled thanks you also. Scroll down for the French

It is pretty straightforward.

“Alcohol is the great leverer- leveller. It brings you down to my level.” “Now, I wouldn’t say that…” “I wanna dance.” “Well, don’t hurt yourself.”

several bars of “What a Swell Party This Is” later…

Elegant Repartee, High Society

Thank you, Cole Porter.

cdwccrn – Would I be wrong to say that your question is more rhetorical in nature? Would I be correct in saying that the question is more of a vented frustration?

I used to drink in HS and in college (heavily) until I became a Christian; now I don’t drink at all, and am having the time of my life. I am not saying that one needs to be a Christian in order not to drink, but such was my case.

To some, they are not able to enjoy themselves in reality for it is too sobering (excuse the pun). Perhaps, too “boring”.

But it is interesting to note: It is the alcohol that governs the social events; they are looking for another excuse to party (i.e. birthdays, Fourth of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving, graduation, house warming…).

Last night some friends wanted to be a blessing to my family. They brought over dinner, cooked, served us, cleaned up, we laughed, played games…and didn’t drink a drop of alcohol. It was a great time.

p.s. The man who came over with his family lost his license because of drunk driving…18 years ago…he just got it back that day!