What do you do with a day suddenly free of obligations?

Go for a long hike, then clean the house.

I don’t see why you would have to clean your house all day. Here’s a suggestion: Put on a favorite CD and tell yourself that you will clean your house from the time that the CD begins until the time that it ends.

Sit around and read. I’ve got seven books out from the library I want to read, plus one my cousin sent me. I’m reading every spare second I get. Of course, if you follow my advice, well, let’s just say I’ve been following it and my house is not the cleanest.

Stay in your PJ’s, unplug the phone, turn on a favorite movie, relax, you deserve it.

Would your husband clean house all day in a similar situation?

@AlfredaPrufrock: That was a tad sexist. I have a day free of obligation today (a RARE occurrence) and guess what I’m doing? Cleaning house.

I do have to teach tonight though – so not totally free of obligation.

If my wife also has free time, then we take time to do something together. Otherwise I get caught up on some project or task I wouldn’t ordinarily do (such as cleaning).

@cprevite: There are a lot of couples that remain in gender normative roles. Despite the fact the woman now works, she’s still the one who maintains the house and cooks. I think it is pretty clear that cdwccrn doesn’t really want to clean because of how the question is asked.

I think AP is trying to say that you don’t have to fall into gender normative roles and that if her husband isn’t going to waste a free day cleaning, there is no reason she should be expected to do so. However, if the husband would spend the day cleaning, then they don’t ascribe purely to gender normative roles and cdwccrn may wish return the favor by spending some of the day cleaning. (Though, I would maintain, not all of it. It’s a day off, for chrissakes.)

I don’t see it as a sexist question, though it undeniably gets at sexism in our society.

@EmpressPixie: Unless AlfredaPrufrock knows cdwccrn’s husband personally, then the comment was based on either AP’s personal experience with husbands or a broad stereotype. If it’s the former, then it’s a limited opinion. If it’s the latter, than it’s a stereotype. Either way, mildly to extremely sexist.

Now, of course, I’m reading subtext. I assume she meant that the husband would certainly not stay home and clean house – he’d probably do something for himself. I could be wrong. Perhaps all she meant was, “He wouldn’t stay home and clean house because he’d rather be out planning a romantic evening”.

If that is the case, or if AP really does know her hubby personally – then I apologize for reading the subtext incorrectly.

Furthermore, the very phrase “gender normative” is offensive. It implies that anything else is “abnormative” or “abnormal”. So stay at home dads are abnormal in their behavior? What of 50–50 relationships where they both work?

“Traditional” – sure. “Normal” – hardly.

Furthermore (again), I’m not suggesting that cdwccrn stay home and clean house, I’m saying that to assume her husband (or ANY husband) wouldn’t is silly – and not the point of the question.

Which, by the way, I have failed to answer due to my rant. So, cdwccrn, when I rarely have free time, I will hang out with my wife (if she is available) and daughter. If not, I will either clean house (if it needs it), nap under a tree, or catch up on my reading.

I apologize to anyone out there who’s offended; that was not my intent.

Cdwccm and I are close in age, and the way she worded the question conveys a certain amount of guilt or expectation that the time should be put to use on cleaning, as if to choose otherwise is frivolous. I am making the assumption that she keeps house in a reasonable state of cleanliness and that if she didn’t have the day off, her house would be kept clean, chores would get done according to their normal schedule. Unless her house is in need of post-holiday project-type cleaning, would most husbands choose to use unexpected free time to do laundry, vacuum, etc. or would they put the time to better use, because these things would get done anyways?

Am I painting myself into a corner here? Perhaps it’s a generational thing—the husbands in my age generation would be more likely to use unexpected free time to take care of errands that would eat into weekend or work time, have lunch with someone they usually don’t have time to see, perhaps clean out their closet or home work space, maybe get things organized for taxes, or run out and do some clothes shopping or exchange items. It would be better use of the time than doing routine tasks, unless those tasks have reached critical mass and have moved from chores to project status. There would be no guilt attached to choosing to do something other than cleaning.

Put on your sweats, put on that cd answerill was talking about and get ready for the workout of your life!! Cleaning the house is the equivalent of going to the gym so you’ll get those two things done!

I watch a lot of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on hulu.

Though I always have a million things I should be doing, when I have a day where I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything, I usually piss it away.

Read! In bed, unless it’s nice outside, then out in the sun!

Movie Day, watch lots of movies and eat bad food, stay in your pj’s, I wish I had one of those days!

So, here’s what I did: stayed in bed and slept till 10:30am, showered, went out for lunch with my husband, hung out at Barnes & Noble, bought a book, came home and read. Minimal housework, some laundry, no cooking. All and all, a very pleasant day:)
For the curious: my house is presentable: recently dusted and vacuumed, kitchen clean, bathrooms not toxic. Always tidy. Just don’t bring white gloves.

Good plan! Excellent execution.

And my husband and I share inside and outside chores.

Re: the debate about housework and gender roles (see above): I recommend a book called “The Second Shift.” It is written by a sociologist.