Have you ever let "stinking thinking" stop you from reaching your goal?
Asked by
GAMBIT (
3963)
January 8th, 2009
Maybe I should, Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I could, Maybe I wouldn’t.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
12 Answers
Gah, I’ve missed out on many opportunities with that sort of thinking. And you know what the worst thing is? I feel awful and angry with myself afterward. It’s really a lose-lose situation.
Maybe I should answer this question…maybe I shouldn’t…maybe I can…hmmmm…maybe I won’t.
@seekingwolf, yes anytime I out think myself I feel the same way and wish I have done differently. Thank you for responding.
Oh, just about every damn day of my life!!!
It’s kinda like learning to jump in when two people are turning the rope. I wonder if learning to do that makes your risk-taking judgement better? I never could learn to jump rope like that—fear of mistiming always stopped me, and people would get frustrated with untangling me from the rope.
I’m working on just these sorts of issues in my therapy, and on the thinking I’ve held for years (way too many years, alas) that working on others’ goals was what I should be doing. My goals? My goals were not only “out of my league,” but I was selfish to have them and they were all nonsense fantasies, to boot. You? my fear would say. Make movies? Please. I got two words for you: Coen Brothers. Whom you are nothing like. You think you’re funny, too? Pfft, I got another two words: Jennifer Saunders. Now shut up. Oh,andyou’reuglytoo,byeee!
I have to take responsibility now for living my life by that claptrap, and I must make a choice: Do I listen to it and keep living in a limited, crazy-making way, or not? Who’s stopping me from living the way I want to (that doesn’t hurt others, of course)?
We are capable and worthy of our goals, even if we don’t “succeed” out the gate. It’s OK to fail because it’s a learning opportunity from an activity, not a judgment on our existence. It’s OK if it takes a while to get where we want to go. It also helps to separate who we are from the goals we set. We are still worthy people, even if we don’t climb Mount Everest 10 times, outsell Dethklök and rid the world of all known diseases in 3 months.
I’m not saying don’t be afraid. But it’s like any other feeling, acknowledge it, ask it what it wants to tell you, and refute it if necessary. Tell it, “OK, I could have a truly lousy voice, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take by singing and finding out.”
BTW, answering these sorts of Q’s is as helpful to me in my process as I hope they are for everyone who read them.
Thank you for sharing your story everyone. It helps me a lot to know that I am not the only one who goes through this.
You are not alone. Worry and self-doubt have probably held me back more than any other thing in my life.
I used to until I had a checkup from the neckup. I love you Zig.
a friend of mine told me she was afraid of being to practical in reaching her goals. BUT I believe that if you get in the mode to get something done, you are way ahead of anyone else in the curve to reach that goal. You are not practical once you start doing something towards your goal. Just Do It… Nike style
all the time…ALL the time… my indecision is crippling me at every turn :-(
and of course its not necessarily just about whether you should or shouldn’t do something…for me its about struggling to decide which option to choose to make a decision about whether to do it or not…. i don’t even get out of the starting block!
too many decisions to make decisions about any of them….
Answer this question
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.