Is it ok to lie to someone if the truth is going to upset them?

That’s a great question. I have always believed that little white lies are okay if it is to protect someone’s feelings. Such as truthfully answering the question: “Do I look fat in this skirt?” If she does, I wouldn’t say “yes, you do” that could be hurtful. I would try to point out something positive about the skirt, such as it’s color or the length and how it is a good color or length for that person. You can get away without lying and also without directly answering the question. I hope this helps! Good luck.

Entirely depends on the ‘truth’ at hand.

I’ve lied to prevent someone from getting upset…but if they find out you lied, they’d probably be even more upset then.

I don’t think it’s okay, but I’m not like most other people. I know that I personally wouldn’t want to be lied to about anything, no matter what. I learned at a very young age that this can be a fucked up world and I had to struggle through it for a long time.

It made me realize that if I lived through that, I can live through anything else, as horrible as it might be. It goes beyond that, too. It’s about what I believe I deserve, and truth is one of those things.

Never lie to someone that is important to you. My husband did this for a year and it almost cost us our marriage. “What she doesn’t know”... Well, she will. Trust me.

“what she doesnt know wont hurt her”

Humph, yeah, it will! Truth! There’s always a kind way to tell the truth; start with a positive, couch it in love and then get to it.

A little tact goes a long way for the most part.

“Does this outfit make me look fat?”
A) Yup.
B) If you look fat, it’s not the outfit.
C) It could be more flattering. Have you tried this one?

See what I mean.

But jonsblond makes a valid point. I have told numerous white lies to co-workers, acquaintences or strangers. Those are more situational.

Never to people you love.

If its me, I’d rather hear the truth than any ‘insignificant’ lie.

@PSUMFT that’s a trick question, there is no good answer(lie or truth) to “Do I look fat in this skirt?”
@tennesseejac “what she doesn’t know wont hurt her” It all depends on what the reason you need to lie ie: little white lie, or really big lie, you also need to consider the chances she will find out the truth ie: yes she does look fat in the dress (eg-little lie), or yes you did sleep with her sister (eg-big lie)
tricky, tricky to decide….
good luck

My first instinct is to say that lying to someone is never a good or reasonable answer. The circumstances are, of course, a significant factor if and when you are ever faced with the situation where you think you might have to lie to someone. One lie could potentially lead to another lie and then another and before long, the whole thing is off the rails. This doesn’t happen every time but more often than not, in my opinion.

My best advice would be to always tell the truth no matter what feelings or outcomes may cause anger or discomfort later on because you can always take additional time later to explain to the person why you told them what you had to say. If lying is your only perceivable action that you can act on, I would recommend caution and use your best judgement.

It might help if that somebody’s got a lot on his mind at the moment and the truth you’d tell would only make matters worse. As soon as he’s free, you should tell you lied and just tell the truth.

Yes. Heard the very same question on talk radio yesterday. Either you were listening or they were of Flutter and got the question from you!

Karmas a bitch.
“what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her” I don’t know about other females but I always find stuff out. I get these feelings. We’re too smart when it comes to guys.

It’s not ok to lie about anything that you know will upset her. You know her very well i assume. If you know it will upset her but you don’t tell her you are being a coward. She isn’t a child. Let her make the decision. On the other hand if she asks if the skirt looks bad, you say no and her friends says yes, she won’t be mad. A little annoyed, but not mad. Anyway, clothes don’t make people look fat. They may accentuate the wrong parts, therefore aren’t flattering, but the only thing that makes you look fat is the actual fat on your body.

Simply put, no. Lying is never the right thing to do, especially if it’s an emotional person. The truth may hurt, but they won’t have a grudge on you in the later-hand situations.

Everyone lies – sometimes on purpose, sometimes by speaking before they think.

But you can go back to someone and say,
“I’m sorry, I lied. I wasn’t thinking, but now I have, and I want to apologize and tell you what I really think. Okay?”

Paradox: if someone can do this, you trust them more.

It is not always black & white. It would be helpful to have a few details…

@susanc- so true. I shouldn’t bash my husband, I have lied too. We have both come to a mutual understanding that it is better to be honest to one another, admit to our mistakes and move on. The grudge you hold because you were lied to is much worse than being told the truth.