Why does no one want to interact with me?

It happens to everyone occasionally, interest in even your best friends fluctuates. It’s true for all relationships. Sometimes everyone seems to be on the same rhythm and that can suck for you. Maybe you should take it as a sign to pick up the slack and pick up the phone.

Remind them how important their friendship is to you. it’s a two-way street buddy.

You say that you didn’t like the people in Florida because they were “really big stuck up asses.” Maybe you communicate this feeling about other people more than you intend to or realize, and people avoid you for that.
Or maybe you do smell.

@asmonet So I should pick up the phone and call someone who I haven’t seen in over a month and say “hey, we should go hang out sometime”? I bet it would be really awkward and unexpected. And if they say “maybe next time” or “no” then I would feel really crappy because I have a huge fear of rejection.

@peyton_farquhar There’s this group of people in Montreal, and I’m sure in other communities as well that many people call JAPs. It’s an acronym for Jewish American Princess/Prince. These are people who are spoiled, stuck up and full of themselves. Their personality does not compute with me, and I would never want to spend more than an hour with one of them.

The longer you wait, the more uncomfortable you’ll feel. Chances are, they’ll welcome hearing from a friend. You’re adding the emotion on your end. Not them. Have you ever heard from a friend after an absence and thought “Oh god, weird. This is awkward. Uhh…”

I’m guessing you were happy to hear from them. Not freaked out.

I think you’re giving everyone the impression you haven’t tried very hard to maintain your relationships, sleeping, staying home a lot, being on vacation, some of these people might even think you’re still gone if you haven’t spoken to them. How would they know you’re even back?

You have an attitude against the people you did see, and seem to be blaming everyone else. Doesn’t make sense. Pick up the phone, again, friendships go both ways.

@Mtl_zack You have to remember…You are the one on vacation, not them.

@asmonet Actually, yes I have thought that it was weird, because someone I know stops talking to me, and then all of a sudden, after no communication whatsoever for 5 weeks says “let’s forget about not seeing each other, let’s do something” but the lingering feeling of the absence of that person is still there.

@judochop: Actaually, they are on vacation too. I start school before them, because I’m doing a gym intensive (a whole semester in a few classes)

@Mtl_zack: I find that sort of relationship odd, I have a best friend who lives in Seattle nine months out of the year, I see him a few times a year, sometimes we don’t talk for a few months because of our schedules and when we finally do we’re just happy to enjoy each others company. All of my friendships are like that. I think you may be focusing on the absence more than the joy of their presence. You might want to try shifting your thoughts, actively reminding yourself people aren’t perfect, they drop the ball. Especially on an interpersonal level.

I don’t know, it’s just something that’s never occurred to me. Weeks, months, years down the road, I’m just stoked to hear from a friend.

Aside from referring to your acuaintances as stuck up asses and JAPS, sleeping a lot when you are home, not recognizing the last 5 weeks have been a holiday/family period and the fact that you represent yourself as an ape-I cannot understand why you aren’t the most popular person in the western hemisphere. I bet you will be ass-deep in invitations by Valentines Day.

Asmonet is right…call someone! Have a specific idea of what you want to do before you call, like “Hey, wanna’ go see that movie Valkyrie?” or whatever might interest both of you.

@Mtl_zack: then stay away from those people and find someone else. I’ve never been to Montreal but if it’s like any other place in the world it can’t be solely populated by stuck up Jews. Like, there’s got to be some stuck up Gentiles around as well.
(You know what I’m saying. You have to look around to find decent people to hang with.)

Go back to the places where people hang out during school, and see who’s there. What happened to your female friend that you were doing a lot with?

@asmonet is on target here.

She outlines what I like to call, “the low-maintenance friendship”.

I too have friends I don’t see for weeks, months, even a year. We’re just all very busy. But, you know what, when we do see each other – we pick up right where we left off.

Stop over thinking this and pick up the phone.

and put down the machete

If that happend than it needs to be more pasion and {catch another train}..

@Mtl_zack:
You’re home and sleeping instead of maintaining normal contact…
You went away and didn’t maintain contact…
You think the people you’re away with are a-holes…

Friend, you need to climb out of your ivory tower and reach out. Start slowly, sending brief hello’s, hey I’m back, love to hang out, and see where it goes from there. You’re behaving in a very antisocial way and wondering why you’re not the social center.
The best way to have a friend is to be one.

And I thought I was being rough, geez. :)

Ahhh, I didn’t mean to be mean. I just think Mtl is being stubborn and expecting all good things to come to him. He needs to wash his socks and get out there! :)

We vacation for big chunks of time and I encourage my kids to stay in touch with their friends, just like I do, while gone. It keeps things on a more even keel, and you avoid some of that adolescent jealousy. Think of a vacation like a new boyfriend or girlfriend; your friends don’t want to be dumped as soon as something better comes along.

Hey, Mtl… That sucks that you’re feeling left out. If you’re unhappy with the friends you’ve made, I suppose it’s time for different friends. Don’t give up too easily, though! Maybe your friends just don’t realize that you’re back in town and ready to have some fun. Plan a little movie night or something, see who turns up, and let us know how things go.

I’m afraid I’m beginning to sound like a one trick pony, however, when you stay away from people, and you aren’t interested in them for whatever excuse you come up with (and you always come up with one), and you don’t want to pick up the phone to call, these are all, as far as I know, signs of depression.

If you’re depressed, you tend to do things that make your depression worse, like believing you have no friends, and that no one is interested in you. You get such a negative attitude, that you make people not be interested in you. You use fear of rejection as an excuse to not reach out.

Anyway, if it is depression, the good news is that there are medications that can help. Depression, at least in part, is due to imbalances in brain chemicals. The meds help.

You can get diagnosed for depression by a doctor or a psychiatrist, but a psychiatrist is probably better.

Anyway, I could be totally off base here. You’ll know if it sounds right or just plain silly. I hope I’m wrong.

give me ur e-mail & i’ll e-mail u

It happens-you’re not alone.

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