Ugh, with my father just passing away, I realize this, all too much.
Even though his health was very poor, we knew it was coming – but we didn’t expect a stroke, when it happens, it is such a damn shock. My husband said I said, “Dad, not yet!” I don’t remember saying that, I wanted so much for him to go on his own terms.
My parents didn’t hide the reality of life and death from us, even as children. I have friends that their parents never really approached the subject. Their fish might die and the mom would search to replace it – I did that once, because my daughter’s fish died, within hours of bringing them home, by the 4th fish, she asked why it had a black spot on it. I told her the truth, she was curious, but started to understand.
With my father’s passing, I was faced with the horrible duty of telling my children – one is 14, very close to 15 and the other is 5. Telling a 5yr old that his papa died – not as easy as telling him the pill bug he loved in his bug farm, died. Everyday, there is a new question. It’s hard enough for me to swallow the reality of the situation, but now I have him asking questions, daily. However, I would rather answer, than lie to him.
We do have faith – we have our religious beliefs, so that has thrown in another dimension.
But yes, I do realize it and hate it – because you just never really know when that day is coming. Just trust me on this, don’t take those loved ones and friends for granted, make sure they know your feelings.