I’ve only slept with one person and that partner slept with… 30 or so people by about 24. That shocked me, just because I can not ever imagine sleeping with that many people, even by the time I’m old. I asked him the question out of curiosity, knowing that I may not have liked what he said. I accepted his answer, without judging him.
Knowing the answer to that particular question definitely helps you get to know someone. It can tell you a little bit about their general view of life, but only after you’ve gotten to know them. They may have slept with a lot of people because they felt worthless and wanted to prove something to themselves, or they may just view sex as sex – no emotional aspect involved. They may have had something horrible happen to them, they may just thoroughly enjoy sex but never met anyone they wanted to have a serious relationship with, etc, etc.
Personally, I would have wanted to hear a lower number, but only because I want to connect with someone, knowing that they understand why my number is so low, or in that case – nonexistent altogether. Just like I can’t understand why people (generally) tend to sleep with other people so easily – those people can not understand why I don’t. I got very tired, when I was growing up, of constantly having to explain why I hadn’t had sex yet. I didn’t go around asking everyone why they had, because despite my personal feelings on the matter, I could see it from their perspective. Typically they could never see it from mine. It was very annoying.
As for hiding our numbers… I think it works both ways. I no longer hide it (and haven’t for a long time), but after being scrutinized so many times when I was younger by so many different people, I started lying and saying that I had had sex, just to avoid feeling alienated, because no one ever got it, even after attempting to enlighten them.
Based on my own experiences, I don’t think it boils down to trust. It’s more about being made to feel different. People don’t typically feel okay about being different, and so adhere to whatever everyone else is doing, most of the time.