Is there hope for a Baptist and Church of Christ relationship?

When the church gets in the way of love, the church has missed the point.

@Grisson: Very true! Great answer!

Lovelace, if your particular faiths have not kept you apart in the passed and have not driven you further apart I don’t see why your relationship wouldn’t work. IMO (and I am a faith based Christ loving person), the reason churches tend to not like or even allow separate denominations to marry is because they feel that with enough conviction from one person, they could potentially get the other person to leave their particular denomination. From the churches standpoint it is purely selfish. From God’s standpoint (the Bible) it is not. Because both of you follow the very word of the Bible with different interpretations from God’s standpoint you are not yoking yourself with unbelievers. You both believe but you happen to have different interpretations.

It seems as if both of you have accepted each others faiths without issue? If so I believe you could do the same with your children. You could allow your children to choose to have faith for what they believe to be the truth in their hearts. Who knows perhaps you guys were meant to be together if not to only learn something from each other in the end. Maybe God sees you both as a divergent couple but has plans to make you both converge on Him and not your particular denominations.

First of all, Church of Christ, if I’m interpreting this correctly is Mormon, and they have a very different interpretation of the Bible. They definitely don’t believe what Christians believe. That being said, it would be like a Jewish person marrying a Christian, which is definitely yoking yourself to a non believer. Will it work? I don’t know, but I do have a friend who is Jewish and married to a Christian who has a hard time explaining to her children why daddy doesn’t go to the same church and believe the same things.

Grisson put it very well, the church or someone is missing the point.

I think you should seek guidance from a Pastor/friend believer that you trust. Right now most of the people you are asking are non believers.

If you gave the church enough money, they will come around to your viewpoint. You will note that the most-respected, “spiritual” role models (and the pastor’s bff) are the wealthiest members. Food for thought…

You and he need to decide what is more important to you: the marriage or the difference in denominations. If being a Baptist is that important to you that you won’t go to his church, and being a member of the Church of Christ is important enough to him that he won’t go to your church, you will have problems when you have children and you need to figure out which church to raise them in.

You could consider a church that is neither. That might be a tough choice for one or both of you, though.

There could be serious problems, both with family, and between you. Family might hate your husband, and there would be a lot of tension, and you might become unwelcome in your parent’s home. The same for him. It all depends how seriously they take their religions.

Also, between you, it could eventually become a problem. You’ll have to decide whose rituals the kids will participate in. That can create a lot of tension for believers.

On the other hand, if being with each places everything else in a subordinate position, then you can do it. I’m not saying this will happen, but just be prepared to be shunned, and cut off from your community. You could check out their feelings first, and include that information in your decision. If parents and others in the community don’t want you to do it, that’s not a good sign.

Some people have gotten married against the wishes of parents and community. Some even get shunned for it. They are willing to be cut off forever to get married, and they go somewhere else and start a new life. It sounds ridiculous, but it happens, even today.

I’m sure you worship your God in your own way, and could continue to do that away from your family. So you could have your husband and your God, if you want. If you are willing to let God come between you and your husband, then I’m not sure the prospects for long term happiness are all that good. If God brings you together, then that says a lot about a good future.

my dad’s a pastor but he’s not stupid. he’s never taught us that we should be hung up or caught up on denominations or faith but simply christ. i’ve been to his church several times and he’s been to mine too. we just both know that we aren’t going to make it home or even regular. i suggested the move to a non-denominational church or one of a different denomination than either. my faith doesn’t make me deny him so i can switch churches, his makes him deny me. my dad has even said that he thought i should follow my husband, because that biblical, but that was not related to the situation at hand, that was a while ago. i definitely agree with Grisson. The church has missed it. that’s not was God is about and that’s not what Jesus is about but yet we do these things everyday. thanks for everyone’s thoughts.

Yah, it probably would be good to get some disambiguation on the “Church of Christ” title. Normally, I’d consider that to be “standard” protestant Christian denomination not affiliated with the Mormon Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But someone else might not. How do you mean it?

In any case, this is in reference to being unequally yoked to an unbeliever. You need to determine exactly how onboard each of you are with the core, central tenets of your belief systems. Getting a pastor to help counsel you in the decision would be worthwhile, to reiterate a prior point.

Personally, I don’t see what the problem would be in this case (both professing Christians), unless you’re both impossibly rigid in your positions. In which case, you’re gonna have problems even without the religious component.

i honestly don’t believe that we are unequally yoked as it relates to our beliefs because i don’t attend the “traditional” baptist church with all the finger-pointing and such and he is not 100% in line with all the teachings of the Church of Christ but he’s willing to accept them because he believes that they COULD be correct. andno, it’s not mormon. they consider themselves christian but some consider the church of christ acult. from what i’ve seen, they’re not acult just a little confused (OPINION) due to interpretations.

if he is not Mormon, and he believes the same things you believe, then that is a totally different question, I would say your relationship could work and finding a separate church with common ground could be a starting point, why wait until your married to do that, you could go looking for churches together now

On a side note, what specifically does he believe differently because of the Church of Christ?

I think that finding an individual church that you are both comfortable with is far more important than finding a denomination you are comfortable with.

GA, @Grisson.

@ Miasmom: He believes that he is going to heaven because he was “added” to the church. It’s not just because Jesus died on the cross and he believed and received salvation. He believes that you must be baptized to be saved. It makes me feel that the Church of Christ’s salvation rests in the church itself, not Jesus alone and that’s the part that I can’t handle. I believe that if a dying man, who’s never been to church, confesses that he believes in Jesus’ work on the cross, he can be saved and can go to Heaven. He doesn’t believe that. He also doesn’t believe in instrumentation. There are no instruments in his church and I don’t have a problem with that in and of itself, but I do have a problem with the fact that he doesn’t believe that people who choose to sing with a piano or any instrument are doing something wrong or out of order. God gives us these talents so that person who’s gifted to play should be able to express that within the church, but he doesn’t agree. They also don’t believe that the old testament in relevant. I know there are somethings that we have to understand are in the past and are no longer necessary but to discount the whole Old Testament of the Bible is amazing to me.

Well I said my piece earlier in the other thread. Like I said LDS is not a denomination but a different religion. I live in a state that is majority mormon so I know a lot. Enough that the missionaries are not allowed to talk to me. Face it you have to except Christ and his death for salvation. You can’t just say well aunt Martha died a non believer so I’ll go do a baptism for her and save her. I know that there are lots in that church that want things that glorify themselves and so they join the LDS church. What does that come down to? God first or self first? Oh man I need to go run errands or I’ll be here all day. Again go see your pastor and talk to him.

@Lovelace, thank you for the insight, there are other denominations that feel you must be baptized to be saved, which I don’t agree with, but there is contraversy in that area. And the old testament is so important, that concerns me that they completely disregard it. And I totally agree with God giving us talents to use, the no instruments would bug me a bit. Well, I hope you and your boyfriend can resolve this, I encourage you not to compromise what you believe! Good luck!

The deacon of a baptist church I attended in Florida is married to a former Church of Christ woman. They have a wonderful marriage and 3 lovely daughters, all past their mid 40’s. We talked about the difference in doctrines , and what type of stress it caused the relationship. The basic beliefs are the same, but Church of Christ seems to be a little more strict and unbending.

Anyway, they have been able to work it out and have a long and loving marriage for many years, and I am sure you will be able to do the same. The doctrines are basically so similar, I doubt you would have to worry about being unevenly yoked. Just keep communication open and pray over this. I wish you both a long and happy life together!!

My father was French (Canadian/American) Protestant and my mother English Catholic. They remained married for more than 50 years until his death. The only clash was the children. They had to agree they would be raised Catholic but my father insisted we get a public school education as a compromise. Various parish priests loved coming over to talk to my mother and then shoot or fish with my father.Itworked for my parents because they worked it out.
BTW my father is buried in the Catholic Cemetery

ok lovelace i have the same problem as you. My boyfriend and i are so in love. He is church of christ and i am baptist. Im not hard core baptist but he is hard core church of christ. I’ve been to his church before and asked questions and i’ve tried to give it a chance but it didn’t work out for me. he has never tried to come to my church because he isn’t supposed to “forsake the assembly of the church”. i think his church is more of a cult type thing personally. Btw he is a senior in high school and i am a junior but just because we are young doesn’t mean that we’re not in love. i know it’s probably unlikely that we grow up and get married but i still want to hope that when he moves out he will come to my church, just once. He keeps saying he will. He says that his parents won’t let him come to my church but once he moves out he will. We recently had a huge fight about baptism and how he thought i was not saved but i told him that he needs to just respect what i believe because i respect what he believes and he agreed. Things are good for right now but i know another fight will surface about this. Do you have any tips on what i can do to keep us fro fighting about this?

IM Baptist my girlfriend not saved but attends church of christ a few times.Now she dont even want me to visit her home now!!

I must say that you have a misconception of the beliefs of the church of Christ. 1) It might be dangerous to call the Lord’s church a “cult”. Jesus Christ died for the church he built. 2) Every example of conversion in the New Testament included Baptism, everyone of them. 3) Be careful of opinions, everyone is entitled to them, except when it comes to the bible/faith/doctrine. 4) As far as instrumental music is concerned, there is just no 1st. century mention of it in worship. The pattern therefore to worship as laid out in the New Testament is bereft of such and to include it would be adding something that the Apostles made no mention of. Also, the talents or gifts one may have, naturally or aquired doesn’t give one the right to include it in worship, my neice is a gifted clogger but in as much as the 1st. century church doesn’t mention clogging I dare not say it’s a gift and therefore she can dance while a minister preaches from God’s word 5) The church of Christ very much believes the Old Testament is relevant as stated in ll Timothy 3:16. It’s just that Christians are not bound to the Old Law. Jesus Christ died “once for all” so there is no need for animal sacrifices and the such like. I find it appalling that one states that the church of Christ “discounts the entire Old Testament, it is simply not true. 6) It is both questionable and dangerous to demand “respect” of one’s gender, race, bond or free as it is one’s opinion of their faith if different from God’s word. 7) The marriage institution is a relationship that’s main purpose is to help husband, wife and children to get to heaven. From what I’ve read that is unlikely to happen to this union. It appears to me that prejudice and bias is the most important thing as it has dominated this entire inquiry. 8) What is wrong with being saved just like those in the 1st century, I beg, what is so wrong about it? One could only be saved just like the Ethiopian eunuch, one could be added to only one church as there was no other church except the Lord’s church.

Lovelace. Thats an interesting discussion. If he is a true member of the Lord’s body he shouldn’t consider marriage until you both are on the same page as far as the scriptures. There is only one church (Ephesians 4:4–6) and there is no reason for denominationalism. God never permitted them. So, I would encourage you to study the scriptures. Never mind talking with the “Pastor” but rather search the scriptures and follow them in spirit and in truth. People always have their opinion but lets look at the facts here. Why would your boyfriend want his kids to be confused, I have no idea. The church of Christ has nothing to do with the Mormon Church…..However, the facts are straight from the Bible….So please first consider the search for the true church and don’t follow the preacher, even if you have worshipped there since childhood. It is the Lord who we must please. I pray this helps.

My daughter is facing this very same situation, and has come to the realization that she does not feel that attending his very strict Church of Christ church is where God is leading her. He wants her to switch from Southern Baptist to Church of Christ and agree to raise their children in the CoC, and she’s not willing to do that. There are some very important distinctions between the theology of Southern Baptists and the Church of Christ, and he isn’t willing to compromise, and she doesn’t feel like she can follow his leadership in this. It breaks my heart to see her sad and upset, but better now than after they’ve invested even more time and emotion in the relationship.

It really bothers me that all of you are putting down the church of christ .
Writing it off as a cult,apart of lds, or dangerous (which it is definitely not). Your ignorance is understandable because you have not been taught. Baptism is a required part of salvation it cleanses you from sin, it doesn’t mean you’re never going to sin again (1 peter 3:21)(Acts 2:37–38) . Personally none of these relationships will work . From my viewing the center of your relationship is not God but yourselves. You have to be willing to learn what your bf/gf thinks is right. If he won’t go to your church great if you won’t go to his that’s okay. But meet each other half way. Ask him to show you his points and you show him yours. I hope your relationships work out as God wants them too.