Any tips on the most efficient way to defrost a full size upright freezer?

Pour rubbing alcohol into freezer, then defrost w. a hair dryer. If you have any tubing around, start a suction action (trying not to drink too much of the alcohol.)

If you are desperate, call one of your neighbors, who will try not to make fun of you.

The low maintenance way is to take out the food, put it into coolers with lots of ice, lay down some towels/buckets to catch the water as it melts, and let it sit for a while. Wiping down the icy shelves with a hot-water soaked rag will speed the process somewhat. This works especially well if you have another freezer to store very melty things, like ice cream. Otherwise you might want to do the quicker, more labor-intensive method gailcalled describes.

Manuals for appliances are sometimes available online, google the make/model of the freezer and see if you can find where that plug drains too.

My ‘fridge manual says to put a large pot/bucket of hot water into the freezer and close the door after you turn off the cooler. This speeds up the warming process by about 2x. Hope that helps.

Definitely do not try and ‘chisel’ with any kind of metallic instrument. If you do, be aware that a hard hit into the ‘fridge could puncture a coolant line (not very reparable)...take it from one experienced in such disasters :(.

@manahouri; great advice but too late. I am one of Wanda’s neighbors who did not volunteer to help in this project, but I know that heavy and sharp instruments were used. When I called her, I could hear the hammering and banging and I believe that she was wearing her waders.

Wanda also discovered a 25 lb frozen turkey at least 5 years old. I was afraid to ask her what she did with it. (We have a lot of large hungry, carnivorous wild life around here. Just so she didn’t heave it into MY woods).

Couldn’t that plughole have a tube thrust into it and then the opposite end run outdoors? Wouldn’t that obviate the wet-floor thing? This sounds like emptying a waterbed, another topic we hopefully will not have to address since who sleeps on them any more?

With regard to the ancient turkey: what we do with old protein at my house it throw it up on the roof. I’m not kidding. We live near the water, and the seagulls, which can digest anything, make very quick work of anything they can access. Crows will do the same. The good thing about this is that you are not attracting big hungry predators which will move on to eating your kitty cats.