Why do we have separate restrooms for men and women?

Tradition, and old conceps of morality..

I don’t want to walk into the bathroom with the possibility of seeing a man’s giblets. Maybe if urinals were in stalls. Yeah, no I’m sorry it’d just be awkward.

Because men make a mess and women don’t want to sit in it.

I think it’s not only because of the whole “giblets” (love the term) concern but also the fact that when we’re in public, the restroom is where you go to handle any business that isn’t suitable for everyone else to see.

So whether you need to pick your nose, pick your wedgie, swap out a sanitary device of your choosing, or generally freshen up it’s good to have a place to retreat to where others will understand your plight.

If you’re only considering adults, and can assume everyone will act like an adult, you might be able to get away with an all for one approach. You also have to think about kids though and are you going to swap schools into the all for one approach? Can you imagine high school with co-ed bathrooms, do you shower all together as well?

The two party system seems to work pretty well as is, no?

@onesecondregrets I’ve been in many men’s restrooms in my life (20 years old, and male for all of them) and never seen another man’s “giblets” in them. Would it change your answer if you knew that wasn’t a concern? Is it more acceptable for me as a man to see another man’s junk? Why?

@funkdaddy “do you shower all together as well?” Now that you mention it, why not (a serious question, not just flippant)? “The two party system seems to work pretty well as is, no?” For some people, yes. It works less well for some others.

@lapilofu No, it wouldn’t change my answer. That’s why I said possibility and maybe if stalls were considered. But I’d honestly feel uncomfortable if public bathrooms were mixed…funkdaddy brought up good points..you handle business that isn’t suitable for all people in the bathroom. For women, this definitely includes purely feminine stuff. Sure dudes don’t want to deal with that more than they have too. And with children it would just be inappropriate as all hell. It’s obviously different in homes, but public mixed bathrooms..no thank you!

I seem to recall a notorious bar in Tahiti called Quinns? or some such, where boys and girls shared, When you gotta go… It was no big deal… Or maybe I misunderstood the signs which were in French…

@lapilofu – regarding showering together… part of the question would be when were you mature enough to be comfortable with your own body (if ever)? (also not flippant) And just as importantly, when were you able to shower with a woman and not make her uncomfortable and self concious? The prospect of undressing in front of mixed company is not a comforting one for most adults, much less teenagers who are developing at different rates.

You could argue that the only reason we’re uncomfortable is because it’s currently taboo, but I remember being very intimidated initially at the prospect of stripping down even with just with guys in a locker room. If there had been girls/women there as well, I may still have never showered. The stench would be unbearable by this point ;)

If it makes sense to ask, who’s suffering with the current approach? Even with changing sexual roles, I think we’re still most familiar with the bits/problems/sexual characteristics that we’re born with and so the current division makes sense based on that.

@funkdaddy If it’s simply a matter of not being comfortable undressing in front of anyone, then I can understand that. I’m all for shower stalls. I do wonder, however, why it would be more intimidating undressing with members of the opposite sex rather than exclusively members of the same sex.

And the people who suffer, for starters, are transgendereds/transexuals. There are perhaps others however.

@onesecondregrets “And with children it would just be inappropriate as all hell.” Can you elaborate on why that might be inappropriate as all hell?

@mij: Sadly, the original Quinns in Centre Vaima is gone; now there’s an opulent remake in the Sheraton in Papeete. Anyway….in my travels I have seen many restrooms with no designations and they are used by both men & women. In my personal opinion, I think it feels safer, especially when you’re alone, to be in a single sex bathroom. In many “squat” type bathrooms which are prevalent around the world, it would be downright awkward to be next to a member of the opposite sex with your clothes around your ankles or pulled up to your waist.

..I don’t think kids (depends on specific age but still..) are at a maturity level that it would be appropriate to use the bathroom with the opposite sex using at the same time. That’s a nice shedding of innocence to expose children too. And with teenagers? The janitor’s closet would become obsolete, the bathroom would be a friggin’ orgy room, haha.

@onesecondregrets Ah ha! That’s what I’m trying to dig out. The theory that if you get men and women naked in the same place, they will inevitably have sex and furthermore that gay people don’t exist!

studies show that more naked people have sex than those with clothes… so there may be some correlation…

…who’s getting naked in public restrooms?

@bythebay Certanly not me….

I did see some people get naked in a public restroom at a club one night. It didn’t appear to be by chance, and they were intent on their task. Personally, public restrooms gross me out under the best of circumstances and I do not find them sexy at all! But, TEHO.

Just be glad. Any of you guys out there that have ever had a job where you had to clean women’s restrooms will be thankful for this.

I wanted to add another reason (for me personally, anyway) I wouldn’t want restrooms to be mixed sex. If I was alone somewhere, especially in a new or particularly creepy place, there’s no way in hell that I would want to use a bathroom any guy could walk into. No offense to most men out there, but it’s also a safety issue. It’d be the perfect opportunity for a psycho.

@lapilofu – “For some people, yes. It works less well for some others….....And the people who suffer, for starters, are transgendereds/transexuals. There are perhaps others however.” Can you expand on this? Why do they suffer, who does it work less well for? etc.

@funkdaddy Yes, but by that logic there should be all sorts of gay sex going on in the restrooms at my high school, which I’m fairly certain there isn’t. (And if there is, why would that be more okay than heterosexual sex going on in restrooms?) Studies also show that there are a higher percentage of sick people in hospitals. Shall we also conclude that hospitals make people sick?

@PnL It’s a matter of not having to declare your gender when you walk into a restroom—and then being judged or harassed based on that declaration and whether or not it matches your appearance. It’s, at best, an inconvenience to anyone who appears to be of the opposite gender they identify (either because they’re transgendered or because they just look particularly androgynous) and at worst and opportunity for harassment.

I just want a clean and safe place to pee -is that too much to ask for?

@lapilofu – Any pathologist will tell you that hospitals do indeed make people sick. In fact, when you are already sick, a hospital is the worst place you could be due to more immune strains of organisms. As for feeling judged when stepping into a bathroom, I wouldn’t know from personal experience, but I seriously feel you are overthinking it. Especially in adult bathrooms, people normally keep to themselves, do their “thing” and leave. I don’t think there’s much judging going on. Sure, if a transgender person walked into a restroom, it would turn some heads, but you would be kidding yourself if you think that this doesn’t happen in normal life, everywhere outside the restroom too. Depending on where you live, their number is small, and so they are considered something “new and different” and anything new and different always garners attention not that that makes it okay, just making a point.

@PnL “Especially in adult bathrooms, people normally keep to themselves, do their “thing” and leave.” Perfect! So then the original question, why have separate restrooms?

(And I suspect that your hospital logic is a little strained, but I am not a pathologist, so perhaps you are correct. I will avoid hospitals in the future. Nevertheless, the point I was trying to make is that people usually get naked because they’re going to have sex rather than having sex because they’re naked.)

I have been in a few places that had mixed gender bathrooms (and have used the men’s room in a pinch many times). Also, there are many ‘family’ bathrooms popping up now. I think if stalls were utilized (no urinals), and were very private (no gaps for peeking) it wouldn’t be as big of a deal. We’d probably all adjust.

@lapilofu – I had a feeling you would question that sentence. My point was it’s easier and less distracting to do your “thing” when you have similar people doing the same thing….such as the peeing methods of women vs. men. The sanitary requirements of women vs. men, etc. My point is, restrooms should be separated by physical anatomy vs. choice of S/O’s. Since using the restroom is more of a biological/physical need than anything else.

So women can go powder their noses?

DrasticDreamer, so your logic is that a man is more likely to be stopped from raping a woman by a sign that says “women only” than by the immorality of actually committing rape?

Men CAN walk into any women’s restroom right now. There is no physical barrier, no women-only forcefield that won’t let a Y chromosome through. If a man is going to commit rape, the little graphic of the stick figure in the skirt isn’t going to stop him.

@MrItty: I was attacked in a womans restroom (in a mall) years ago. The 2 men, hid in a stall by standing on the toilet. So…no…a stick figure won’t stop someone on a mission. However, I would have left the room immediately had I seen two menacing strangers staring me down when I entered, thereby escaping the trauma. I don’t think DrasticDreamer is saying it would solve all the potential risks, but rather bring the ratio down perhaps.

bythebay, you’ve just disproven Dreamer’s point and proven mine. Thank you.

If men and women shared a restroom, and therefore the attackers weren’t feeling the need to hide in a stall, and you saw them looking menacing, you would have turned around and exited immediately.

I’m sorry for the trauma you suffered, also.

@MrItty: I’m not here to prove or disprove anyones point. As I mentioned a million comments ago; I don’t want to get naked in a restroom or to be attacked, I just want a clean & safe place to pee! If someone menacing wants to find you, they will…whether or not a door is in the way. And thank you for your acknowledgment of my trauma – no harm done really, it was a lesson learned much like everything in life, right?

“The two party system seems to work pretty well as is, no?”

No.

Thank you, @lapilofu, for your comments about the trans community. You are absolutely spot on and not “overthinking” it at all.

See, that is where the ‘family’ restrooms could really come in handy. Anybody at all is allowed to use them. We should have more of those.

Private restrooms for each individual is a solution that makes everyone happy but large public restrooms are that way because of the number of people involved. No one wants to share the facility, it is just a necessity (or at least it simplifies things greatly) to deal with the number of people coming in and out.

I am confused how making a trans gendered person (who has made a very difficult and very defined decision regarding what sex they want to live their life as) identify themselves as male or female before going to the bathroom victimizes them.

If those individuals are being stopped and questioned, made uncomfortable, singled out, or made to feel like less in any way then THAT is the part that needs to be changed. But someone who has made the decision and taken steps to live their life as a male despite the physiology they were born with has decided a lot more definitively than I ever have that they are male long before entering a bathroom.

for what it’s worth, my comment above regarding naked people having more sex was intended to lighten the mood a bit, sorry if it was misunderstood

@funkdaddy: Not all trans people can afford to take those steps. Also, there are those who do not identify as either gender.

Well then, the trans will have to pick a side when they want to pee; this is getting ridiculous! We cannot provide facilities that accommodate everyones sexual proclivities, true-sex, gender, and/or intent & desires. Maybe we should have male restrooms, female restrooms, undecided restrooms, and “other”.

Many of these answers may be correct. But I will introduce a new concept while keeping all political correctness in mind. Science has proven that many instances of homosexuality are caused by differences in hormones. Now that would basically mean that they are a different gender. Look at the new LA prom Queen who is openly gay. The question is, should there be separate restrooms for gays and separate for lesbians? I sure know I wouldnt want to be stared at in the urinal with sexual intentions. Same reason a female would feel uncomfortable if men were staring at them in the womens room.