You can always meet up with a counselor to talk over what specifically is causing your anxiety so you can work on techniques to address the cause rather than the symptoms.
In senior high, I started to slip into a minor depression. At the time, I was lucky enough to have friends who noticed and made a point of dragging me out of the house to go toss a ball or something rather than just let me wallow. They caught me just soon enough that it helped me see what was happening to me. I then made a conscious effort to try changing the way I was thinking. When I would start with a negative though, I would consciously stop myself and think, “no, I should think (positive spin on thought) instead”. At first, it felt ridiculously forced and, quite frankly, cheesy. But after a (long) while, I started catching my negative thoughts sooner, and slowly it started to come more naturally. Gradually, I was able to climb my way back out of that pit. That’s what worked for me in that situation.
As life went on, if I found myself in a really tough spot, I’d get tell myself that at some point, it would just be a memory and I’d have moved past to a better stage in my life. “Someday, this will all be a memory” was my mantra. That way, I was focusing more on getting through it and not getting bogged down in that stage in my life.
When I was getting stressed over dealing with my mom and her demands relating to my wedding (I actually had a full on panic attack before I realized how stressed I was), I had to learn to just step back and not get caught up in her anxiety. Once the key things were arranged (groom, JP/pastor, marriage license, location), I treated the rest as gravy. I had to deal with items that could be dealt with as they came along and be clear with my mom when she was demanding answers or actions that I couldn’t reasonably provide yet. I just had to learn to step back and “not sweat the small stuff”. It was tough to do, but a “perfect” wedding wasn’t worth my health or sanity. Friends said I was the anti-Bridezilla, lol.
Later, when my husband was terminally ill, trying to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal didn’t work, nor did just telling myself it would all be over at some point (that felt too much like wishing it was over and therefore that he would just be gone). Instead, I learned to focus on the things we still had to be thankful for and we made the most of the time we had left. That didn’t mean extravagant vacations, but just appreciating each other and those around us. I had days where I had to just let go and break down for a bit to flush it out of my system, as did my husband, and that was ok, too. In fact, it was important that I allowed myself to. Trying to tell myself I shouldn’t stress over it only made me stress more, but it took talking to a counselor who was used to dealing with people in my situation to realize it. Fortunately, my husband and I were able to not waste what time we had left together mourning.
What techniques work for you will depend largely upon what you’re going through and who you are as a person. I sincerely hope that you hear a suggestion that really clicks for you and does the trick. With any luck, it will also help you learn to cope with new challenges that come up in the future.
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