Is it worth it to leave a school because of lonelyness?

I would make a list of pros and cons for each. I have been in your situation, I was so homesick the first and half of the second year of college and it was horrible… but I stuck it out because it was my top choice and I knew I would regret it. I eventually loved it there and met some really great people. I guess in the end it’s all up to you to decide what you want to do, but take your time and really think it through.

Have you considered seeing a therapist to talk about your concerns regarding your anxiety? I would start there for sure. Many schools offer free counseling, and there is no shame in going.

I agree with @Likeradar – that’s probably a better place to start.

I’m sure many people must have been in your situation. Its only that some keep these things to themselves. So, even though you feel lonely, you are not alone. ...many of us go through this.

Secondly just as you shared this, i suggest you share this with a trusted friend, pastor or a counselor. You will be amazed at some good guidance you will get.

Thirdly, be thankful for the wonderful things you have in your life…..Good education, your loving girlfriend who sticks with you in difficult times
Be strong. All the best!

What you are describing sounds like more than the ordinary range of away from home anxiety and lonliness.

Before moving again (what is to say it is where you are that is the problem and not just the fact that you are somewhere other than home), I fourth the idea of talking to a non-judgmental professional to help you get to the why and prescisely the what that is going on before you make another move (either home or on to somewhere else).

If you are opposed to getting outside help, sit down and write out what inner thoughts come up when an opportunity for a new friendship comes up. Sometimes our defenses are so ingrained or not conscious we don’t hear the actual dialogue any more unless we slow it down and write it out.

Good luck. Take care.

@Marina: Its actually been around since before I left. For years it was slight anxiety with mind-numbing paranoia. I got the paranoia undr control, but the anxiety came full force again.

I have had anxiety issues as a lifelong challenge too. I am actually considering (after resisting forever) trying some type of anti-anxiety meds. I haven’t even started researching the issue yet though.

Enzo, I too have dealt with anxiety issues all my life, to the point of full-on panic attacks on a daily basis. Nothing has been more beneficial in my life that getting that under control. While therapy helped, it wasn’t enough for me. I take Effexor XR every day, and probably will for the rest of my life. It has made my life much more livable. Enjoyable, even! I urge you to get this checked out so you can live your life without fear. Best of luck to you.

Thanks for the responses and advice. If this seems like something I can finally get under control I will consider staying more. But as of right now, I can’t see myself going through this another semester.

@EnzoX24: This sounds like a terribly hard time for you. All the external changes in the world aren’t’ going to change how you feel internally. Go speak to a Dr. or counselor and start down the path to addressing what is truly ailing you. Your whole life is waiting for you; you don’t need to face it with anxiety & trepidation. Take care of yourself.

I concur with the advice to speak to a counselor or therapist. I think your anxiety sounds more extreme than the “normal” homesickness of a student. I don’t think another move will necessarily aleve it. I suffered with anxiety for years and while it is still present in my life, therapy has really helped and I am happy and functional most of the time now. Also, remember it may take a few trys to find a therapist that you can really work with. You are lucky to have a supportive girlfriend, be grateful for that. Good luck and keep working at it. It’s great that you can acknowledge your problems so honestly.

Really, as @augustlan said, from the way you describe it, it sounds like something that meds could help with, along with therapy. Go, now, and get diagnosed. Your life will become much easier, if they can treat whatever it is you have. You think it’s an anxiety disorder, and I think you know yourself the best. This can be treated. If you get diagnosed. You don’t have to continue living like this.

Your experience sounds a lot like mine the first year of college.

If you are like me you are not comfortable talking about yourself or making idle small talk.

I overcame this by offering to host study groups to prepare for exams. This way everyone was focused on learning and not each other.

I proposed that everyone come with flashcards and we sat at a round table and took turns quizzing the group.

Not only did I make some good solid friendships but I increased my GPA significantly.

I kind of have the same issues with meeting new people. Mostly, my mind goes blank though and I wind up looking like a ditzy bird brain :/ Well, I dont think changing schools will help you much, unless you go to a VERY small school. I used to go to a small college and I found it MUCH easier to meet people than here at my new university, which is like the size of a town. But hey, if youre not much of a people person, dont force yourself to be. I myself am an introvert and not an extrovert. I find it uncomfortable to force myself to be social and out going and I actually enjoy being a solitary person. But if you really crave the social scene and want ti get in, just take it slow. Joining a club is usually the best way. Try and join study groups too.

Either way, I dont think you should force yourself too much to be such a social butterfly, especially if its not you. Find out who YOU really are try your best to improve on that :)

i don’t think a change of environment will help you. this is a problem you need to take care of within yourself. figure out what makes you scared when you talk to new people, and try to conquer that fear.