Why is it so hard to find an honest guy?

I have that app, or one like it, and it comes with that built in.

Comes with what built in?

That is funny.

That fake call.

Oh okay. I thought you meant it comes with a fake call or contact titled “my baby”.

The app doesn’t come built in you have to download it from the app store.

No, the app comes with “my baby”. I remember because I thought it was really odd.

Oh, I see. I know nothing about the application, but he claimed to know who the girl in the picture was. And it actually said “My Lady”, not my baby.

Sorry, I’m not dishonest, I swear!

lol, I don’t know. That would be messed up if by some chance he was telling the truth and here I completely blew him off. LoL.

Why don’t you give him another chance, just in case? You wouldn’t want to always wonder….

I’m thinking about it. We’ll see. I get this vibe that he’s a player, and then that happened -which just made the vibe stronger.

<———honest guy right here… Where are all the women at that are looking for guys like me?! I think I put out this vibe that says I’m not single, and not interested at all, even though I could be.

It’s a well-known fact that girls only pay attention to jerks.

Don’t ignore your gut feeling! Worst thing you could do, trust me. If he is a player, he’ll be good at it. If you’re not wrong about the picture and what his phone said, you got extremely lucky that it happened like that. True players know what they’re doing and they’re good at getting second chances and making everything seem perfect.

Why start a relationship when you already have a vibe. It would be so hard for you to ever really trust him. You must always go with that gut instinct, it’s usually right. As they say, “there are many fish in the sea”. Doesn’t feel like it when you have just come off of a relationship, but you will meet the right guy when you least expect it. Good luck!

“Does any other woman have the most difficult time finding an honest guy!!?”

Not really, but that’s probably only because I’m not looking.

Have you seen that new FOX show about lying, Lie to Me? It is really depressing, but fascinating at the same time.

If you’re having that much trouble finding an honest guy, are you maybe just looking in the wrong places?

I guess she hasn’t done much searching on Fluther….AHEM…

heh

Men can only tell lies to women who allow it. You can’t control if they lie, but you can control how many times they lie. Once is enough for me.

It really doesn’t matter where you meet a guy. It could be at a library or church and the chances of meeting a liar are still there. You just need to trust your instincts.

have you considered the possibility that the girl was an ex that he just hasn’t managed to remove yet? It happens a lot. There was a time when I had several ex gf’s in a phone, simply because I’d had the phone too long. Ok, none of them was “my baby” though

You have to believe there are honest men out there before you’ll find one. I know it sounds new age-y, but what you put your attention to is what manifests; your behavior and your thoughts will be in service to your most deeply held beliefs.

I do believe there are honest men out there… I haven’t met many but I do think it is quite difficult for us all to be honest all of the time. Even with ourselves.

I’ve been in and out of a relationship for 7 months now and its been hard to trust him ,because he has hidden things from me and been liberal with the truth. But i still think it’s important to give people a chance… people make mistakes, most of all in relationships and particularly in disclosing information about past relationships.

Tread carefully, trust your instincts but be daring enough to look like a fool if necessary otherwise you may prevent true love from happening.

True honesty is difficult to come by in most humans, regardless of gender. I find that our culture is especially full of people who can not even be honest with themselves… they are too busy trying to be what they perceive others want them to be. Therefore, it is impossible for them to be honest with anyone.

Like @lynneblundell, I have spent over a year in and out of a relationship with a man who has lied to me and hidden things from me. His motivation has not been evil; rather, his intentions are to ‘protect’ me. For other things, he has been very honest, and he has worked at being more direct.

But as liberating as I have found it to hold myself to high standards of honesty and accountability, it is intimidating to people who are deeply mired in the games of pleasing others, keeping up with the Joneses, and so on. And I will admit that tactful, diplomatic honesty is very difficult to learn.

But I believe that the most kind thing we can do for someone is to give them the facts and let them determine the best course of action for themselves. If we choose to deceive someone because it’s “best for them”, we are manipulating them based on our values.

Men lie because they are insecure. The think that women won’t like them unless they pretend to be the kind of guy they think women want. They become “players” because they think the only thing they have that a woman might want is their dick. They don’t stay in relationships because they don’t want the woman to find out they are not what they seem.

Why is it hard to find an honest guy? Because honest guys are secure about themselves. They do what they want to do, no matter how unpopular it might be. They don’t hang out at bars or clubs because they are doing those things.

Why do girls fall for players? Because they, too, are insecure. They fall for that image of strength and danger and machismo that the dishonest guy projects because they want to buy into that image. In other words, people like this are lying to themselves because they don’t believe they are worthy.

Guess what? It’s the human condition. Most of us are insecure. Maybe I was lucky. I was so insecure that I learned to go the other way. I told the girls I was interested in all my faults first. I figured that if they thought the worst of me, I could only go up in their esteem. Most ran, of course.

Oddly, a few stuck around for a while. One actually married me. I’m convinced she regrets that decision, but she denies it. I’m learning to go with the flow, and not look a gift-horse in the mouth. Besides which, it does no good to ask her why she loves me. The answers never make sense.