Do you have any funny replies for when someone asks your age?

“as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth”

just like Kris Kringle in the original Miracle on 34th St.!

29— again.

I look a lot younger than I am and when I get carded, as I often do, I just look them straight in the eye and say, “I moisturize.”

I say I’m old enough to know better, but young enough not to care. ;-)

16. That usually gets a laugh.

Every second I`m one second older, can`t count then all

I look younger than I am, I once got asked for a hall pass in my sons HS. it was annoying when I was in my 20’s, people would ask if I was babysitting when I was out with my son. Now that I’m 31 I kinda like getting ID’d. I don’t have a clever comeback though.

@elijahsuicide I had the opposite problem. Grey hair started when I was 18. I used to add about 25 years when people asked, because I looked a very old 35, but not a bad 60. Ok, now at 50+ it probably wouldn’t be useful to say ‘80’.

@Grisson you smart people with your crazy math! Hehe
You probably know a lot of women think grey hair is sexy so it can’t be a bad thing.

@elijahsuicide Yeah, I always liked ‘The New Math’
“Yes, officer, I know I was doing 55 in a 45 zone, but the other day I was doing 25 in a 40 zone, so you still owe me 5.”

@loser & @evelyn, lurve, especially for “new car smell.” Ha!

@elijahsuicide wait, you’re 31 and you have a son in highschool?

“old enough” said with a smile

age is only the memory of one year cycle time

@peyton farquhar yeah he is 14, I’m turning 32 in 2 months.

I say “11 min younger than my brother, but I forget his age”.

Okay, here’s a couple more for ya: “I’m so old I remember when there were only four planets.” or “I’m so old I remember when rocks were soft.” or “I’m so old I remember when God spelled his name with only one letter.”

<—does not understand any of evelyn’s zebra’s answers :( feels sad.
also, i thought it was “I’m so old I remember when there were 9 plants”. where did 4 come from?

Here’s a review of an iPhone app that converts your age to miles using e=mc squared. Funny!

That broke my brain! hehe

@La_chica_gomela these snappy replies are part of a fun thing people can do when they don’t want to answer the question. You see, you can be offended when someone is rude enough to ask your age, or you can turn it around and make a joke out of it. Why anyone would continue to use that oh-so-old answer of “29 and holding” when you can say something completely off the wall and get the person to mind their own business with something funny?

Hey, if you are old enough to remember when Manknd only knew about 4 planets, then you’d be pretty damned old, wouldn’t you?

@eveylns, But wouldn’t it be funnier if you said you were old enough to remember when there were 9 planets in the solar system? because pluto was considered the 9th planet until a year ago, and now there are only considered to be 8, so it’s actually funny, because you’re saying “I’m so old, I remember something that happened a year ago” – it doesn’t even prove that you’re very old. I dunno, to me that’s a lot more clever than saying “I’m old enough to remember something that I couldn’t possibly remember”, which seems kind of forced. I guess I assumed there must be something more to it than just that, my mistake.

@La_chica_gomela the thing that is funny about it is the fact that it is completely outrageous. Saying “I’m so old I remember when dirt had that new car smell” isn’t about facts, its about the answer being so off the wall and nonsensical as to slightly confuse the person asking the question, and hopefully get them to stop being a pain in the ass by asking me how goddamn old I am, which is none of their business in the first place.

Of course, my friends and I do it just to be clever and creative, to see what sorts of nonsense we can come up with.

@evelyn, i guess it’s just not my style. to me, it seems to me that saying one of those lines wouldn’t distract or confuse someone any more than saying “hey, what’s that over there?” as a response, but to each his own.

@La_chica_gomela — it must be a cultural thing. I’m like @evelyns_pet_zebra; I think it’s rude to ask a woman her age. But instead of being rude back, we get funny. Women “of a certain age” are allowed and even expected to be clever and sassy.

It’s a niche answer at best, but I say “I brokered the first load of dirt and got paid in archaeopteryx eggs.”

@Sorceren now that’s pretty damn funny. I’m stealing that one. Much lurve to you for such a clever answer.

@Sorceren I know the phrases she gave are supposed to be funny. I understand why you would want to be funny in that situation. Honestly I didn’t think those particular phrases were funny. That’s all I was saying. The only reason I brought it up is because I thought that I must have missed the joke. But it turned out that I didn’t. They’re just not clever. If I had realized they weren’t clever in the first place, I wouldn’t have said anything at all.

@La_chica_gomela — it takes all kinds! You would think they were funny if you were as old as we are.

Young people don’t get old people humor. Saying they aren’t clever is just mean, but I will attribute it to your youthful lack of vision. In fifty years, La_chica_gomela, you will see the humor in those lines and feel bad that we are both dead and you can’t apologize for calling us unclever. LOL

@evelyns_pet_zebra I’ve noticed that. I think that we older participants tend to make jokes that reflect our age. I often refer to the Jurassic era when I’m talking about things I’ve done. If the young folks don’t get it… well, maybe they think the Jurassic era really is another word for the 50’s and 60’s. I dunno.

How about this: I’m so old my school pictures were in black and white. (Yeah, I know. It’s not clever, just true.)

My teachers made us memorize all 10 Amendments to the Constitution.
I did math problems involving trains because cars hadn’t been invented yet.
I was part of the original task force that consulted on a new concept: dirt.

@Sorceren those are great! See, give people free rein on a novel concept and their creativity kicks in. How about: “I’m so old I remember when Moses only had peach fuzz.”

I invented numbers? (AlGore’s got nothing on me.)

I’m reasonably sure it was a woman who invented numbers. If it was a man we’d be using base 11 instead of base 10.

@Grisson — you made me shoot coffee out my nose! Bad!

People say I look 5 years older than I am. I’m young enough for that to be a good thing.

My best friend always replies, “I love music.”
The asker usually looks confused and asks again, to which my friend replies, “I love music.”
They usually get it and go away.

@Sorceren “Hey! Look over there!” Is a great response when someone asks’ your name. Thats my favorite!