What is the oddest random comment you have overheard?

”... and that’s when you stick it in his ass.” – Talking about cattle

”... then you pull the nuts out.” – Again… cattle

“I’d almost suck your dick if you would stop doing that.” – Actually… I said that one.
Not one of my finer moments

Not passing in the street, but speaking on a nearby phone at a bank of pay phones in a hotel: a woman demanding in a loud, agitated voice—

Well, but did you get the dead skunks OUT of the bedroom?

This was about 25 years ago, and to this day I wish I had just handed her a twenty and said, “Please explain!”

In my school newspaper, we have overheard, which is an imitation of this. You just take anything completely out of context.

For instance, Guy 1:Holy shit! I’m glad I wash m penis everyday

or

Girl 1: Who do you think is hot on the guys team?
Girl 2: No one.
Girl 1: Isn’t your boyfriend on the team?
Girl 2: I don’t think about him like that anymore.

Walking across the lawn of a small liberal arts college at my brother’s graduation…

First young lady – “So, my mom’s a lesbian, my dad doesn’t know yet, and I’m trying to figure out what that means for my trust fund.”

Second young lady – <nodding knowingly> “I hear ya”

It thought my brother had set it up special for us to witness, but he swears that’s just another day in the life…

“Ewww gross, your turn”,
“No, ewwww gross, your turn”.

sons, (age 3 and 5) in the bathtub, looking at each other’s butt.

Hmm.. I can’t really think of any right now that I’ve overheard.

One of my best friends and I have said some pretty weird ones.

“It went from throbbing to I-can-play-with-it.”
Talking about an ear piercing a few days after it was pierced.

Me: It’s so good.
Her: You just put it in your mouth and it gets hard.
Me: Yeah, then you suck on it.
Talking about cotton candy.

Edit:: The throbbing one was said quite loudly in a Taco Bell. A kid in the booth behind us, who looked about 13 by the way, turned around and told his friend that we “were totally vibing him” whatever the hell that means.

It makes my day when I overhear parts of conversations that sound perverted.

While fishing on a boat with some creepy guys:

“Jerk the pole/rod”
“She’s wet and slippery”
“Slam the porthole”
“Get the worm deeper”

Porthole? Do fishing boats even have portholes?

We were inside where the “galley” was and it was windy, so we had to slam it. I think it was just for show, though.

”......and then she twisted herself into this impossible position and he completely exploited that for all it was worth…..”

”...so we painted it green and it works just fine now.”

“Man your balls are way cooler now than they were before. Look, they even have designs on them”.

Two 14 year old boys; discussing how one had the choice of different bowling balls now that he had achieved pro status on Wii bowling!

@jonsblond: Thank you for the first funny of the day – you truly made me LOL!

I can’t think of any recently that I’ve overheard others say, but people who hear my fiancee and I probably think that we’re into some weird shit. Example (and I apologize in advance if any of this insults anyone because of beliefs, etc.):

He answers the phone: “Mel’s abortion clinic. You make it, we scrape it. No fetus can beat us.”
– I once told this to some people at my liberal arts school because they were talking about funny ways to answer the phone. No one laughed but me… :/

Also, when asked what I did for the weekend once, I told my friend at school, completely serious, that “We went sasquatch hunting.” It’s a normal event where I’m from, but apparently not for those who attend my small school in the city.

Speaking of sasquatch hunting, people also give us weird looks when we talk about my fiancee’s Fallopian Jungle Monkey in public (total inside joke which came about during a sasquatch hunt).

In a high end clothing boutique:

Girl 1: Have you ever met my friend Rory, the oriental girl?
Girl 2: No, where in Asia is she from?
Girl 1: I’m not quite sure.
Girl 2: Well, Asia is a pretty big country.
Girl 1: You should hear her talk. She can’t say R’s right.
Girl 2: Yeah, orientials can’t say R’s. I have noticed that.

This was the owner of the shop and her friend. Money does not equal intelligence and since my SO is Japanese I don’t think I will be going back there. Not because I was offended but these dumbasses should think before they open their ignorant mouths in front of customers.

“Fine, have sex with the Otter see if I fucking care in fucking divorce court!”
...
“I’ll have a vente latte.”

Me in line behind her….WTF!?

Gotta love Furries.

There was this girl in my high school who was known for making idiotic comments. She was legendary in my school.

“Marla thinks potatoes come from animals.”
“Marla once tested positive for 14 different drugs.”

I was once fortunate enough to bear witness to one of these comments. Our classes were on a joint field trip to the Met one day and on the way back we drove through Spanish Harlem. From the back of the bus, Marla called out, “Are we in Spanish town?”

It’s not a snippet of conversation, but it’s ridiculous and rather worth sharing, I think. :)

Heard while dropping kids off at school- two mothers talking:

“It will be just perfect- after the fungus clears up”

“I always get stuff jammed in my ring when I play with meat.”

My mother was talking about forgetting to take her jewelry off when making hamburgers. She announced this to me, my father, her brother, and her brother’s then-girlfriend-now-wife. We were in the car and her brother actually had to pull the car over to regain his composure. He was laughing so hard he was crying. The comment itself was funny enough, but we were all on the verge of peeing ourselves with laughter because she kept looking from person to person asking, “What? What did I say?” She had no idea why we thought it was so damn hilarious.

@MacBean that is so hilarious- Lurve!

this is certainly not the oddest, but the most recent. i was walking to class with my friend and we both stopped talking just in time to hear this girl somewhere behind us saying,
“i smell my friends. i just have like, this sense, like i can smell them when they’re near.”
it was so so so strange and awkward hahaha.
man i know i have like enough random snippets of conversations to fill a book, but none of them are coming to mind. ): i should really write them down.

My quips.