Help! What do you do as a babysitter/nanny?

Have a talk with the parents about whether they want you to teach the girl how to get along, or if they want to raise a child with poor boundaries. If they choose the latter, quit.

I couldn’t work in that situation. I’d quit. I’m sure they don’t pay you enough to be abused by a snotty nosed brat.

@judi I actually get paid very well! that’s that hard part.

The dad actually said “She’ll apologize when she feels like it”!!!!!

i’d sneak something in her food, make her puke like crazy, and then tell her God hates her because she hit you.

give her an eating disorder. then you’ll have the upper hand forever.

or quit, because it isn’t worth the grief.

@KendraW ; enough to be abused?

@Judi That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I also have a long history with these people. I’ve been working for them for almost 2 years.

Oh wow. Gotta love a parent that thinks their child can do no wrong!

Is there any way you can have a sit down with the parents? Let them know you want the best for their child, just like do and part of your job is to help guide her. *I just read your last post – this isn’t going to go well. Clearly, they are all for the “kids will be kids” belief in raising a child.

They are setting this child up for failure, in the future. Very sad.

You need to make a decision – is the money worth losing your self-respect. I don’t think you will ever be able to provide a positive influence, if they keep underminding you.

Do they view you as a babysitter or nanny? Sometimes a nanny is viewed differently to parents. They allow them more responsibility.

@epony…. ahh i was having a really bad day and you put a smile on my face! Lurve for you!

@KendraW i was dead serious <wink>

@eponymoushipster- I like the way you think.

@eponymoushipster – mental note to self…don’t call epony to babysit!

That was so wrong, but funny!

@cak more of a babysitter b/c I am only with her 3 days a week. But here’s the thing I’m 23 years old, in school for education and like i said i have been with them for a long time.
I don’t know….

@KendraW – welcome to the world of parents that believe their child is above punishment!

I am a mother of two, 5 and the other is days away from 15. I welcomed it when my sitter and then nanny (I was in the hospital) cared enough about my children to correct them when they were doing the wrong thing. Try the talk – it may not go well. Ultimately, you will need to make the choice – can you tolerate her behavior? Can you tolerate he parents?

As an educator – you will see this, a lot!

@AstroChuck know your enemy.

@cak as long as the kid isn’t a brat, it’d be ok. otherwise, someone’s gonna be sniffing salt and washing my feet.

@KendraW I’d seriously sit the parents down and talk to them. If they really value your efforts, they’ll at least listen. Tell them the child’s behavior is unacceptable and makes for an abusive work environment, and since they don’t support you when you try to correct this poor behavior, they’re not only causing you harm, they’re reinforcing bad habits that could come back to bite them.

Give the parents a time out. Hide the remote control.

@Jayne or poke a hole in the prophilactics – that’ll teach em. Once they have two to deal with, maybe it’ll hit home!

@cak I know it makes me question my career!

@eponymoushipster – nah…the little one is funny, but not bratty. The other one, doesn’t need a babysitter, just a driver, planner and chef. ;)

@KendraW – oh no! For all the challenges like this child, you will find the children that make it all worthwhile!

@eponymoushipster funny you should say that…. they’ve been trying for one more!

@KendraW that’s terrible.

in that case, explain to them that if the kid doesn’t get some behavioral correction, when #2 hellspawn arises from the netherworld, hellspawn #1 could have some serious issues and seriously injure the younger one.

also, as a side, i hate it when people tell you their ”trying”. listen – we don’t care, unless we get to watch the process. do i tell you when i’m constipated and trying to take a dump? nope. mostly

I’ve been a nanny for 5 years.
I would first have a good, in depth discussion with the parents about your behavior standards. If you and the parents are way off in your expectations and follow-through, which it sounds like you are, it’s time to move on. A good match is SO important in nanny/parent relationships!
Getting paid well is no reason to stay in this situation, unless you’re the type who can just let it go. I could move on and find a better paying nanny position, but I never would. The parents and I have such a good level of communication and we’re on the same page with expectation and discipline. They back me up 100% in front of the kids, then talk to me privately if they would have handled it differently. That’s the way it should be.

Oh, and nannynetwork.com is a great site for nanny advice. It can be kind of cliquey, but the nannies and parents on there generally give decent advice and take their jobs very seriously.

Parents enabling such behavior? Your responsibilities were just dropped down to keeping the kid alive while in your care.

Seek out a better job- you deserve it.

@likeadar Thank you so much for the advice! very helpful!

@dog thanks

@KendraW you’re welcome! Feel free to PM me if you have nanny questions. :)

Sounds like it’s time to call Super Nanny!

beat her on the head with a hammer…no wait, I’m sure that’s not legal. So I guess the first answer was right. If the parents won’t co-operate, just quit.

I’ve never had to babysit for money, even though I’ve often taken care of friends’ kids (or relatives) and I commonly turn my home into a daycare centre for my daughter’s friends. But none of them ever misbehaved like that. One girl who was tiring me a bit (not really that bad, just needed too much of my attention all the time) just had to stay with her mum and was not invited to join us except on rare occasions when I had the energy. She started getting better after a while, though it could have something to do with simply growing up.

I’ve always had a good relationship with the parents, and they trusted my judgement 100%. If that’s not the case with you, then don’t even try to change their mind. Don’t bother. Let them sort it out.

btw I also have an opposite story which I’d like to share:
I hired a nanny recently, a wonderful old lady who was very kind and friendly to my daughter. My daughter (aged 3.5) called her “granny” and felt she could get away with anything when at her place. She threw things all over the place, shouted, screamed, generally wouldn’t listen. When I went to pick her up, she’d be an angel and the only hint I got was that they kept asking me for more corn flakes all the time. Turns out she was throwing them about, not eating them. I caught my kid misbehaving a couple of times and made her apologise, but the nanny insisted that I shouldn’t be strict, everything was fine and so on. They rennovated their place and my daughter (a generally wonderful and obedient child with me) scratched the walls and so on. By the end I was sure she was not behaving herself, and I kept asking the nanny everytime if everything had been ok. She still wouldn’t tell me. Then one day she just called my girlfriend crying and said she wanted to quit.

I’m not saying this is relevant in your case, since you apparently spoke to the father, but it is sometimes possible that you get off on a bad start with a child who would otherwise be easy to control. They can be quite devious at that age, so it is important to talk to the parents about everything (though it’s usually the parents who have lost control and the nanny that has to make things right).

Talk to the parents.

Some parents are just scared of their own children and won’t discipline them, or basically they just have no idea. I wouldn’t put up with it, don’t babysit for them anymore, let them deal with their own brat.