How can I change my sad, scared mood?

Congrats on reaching 40 years of life. Take comfort in the fact that you have reached this milestone. The majority of people in the past did not live up to 40, and thanks to medical science, you can look forward to at least another 20 years of life, if not 40 or 60+.

Bodies are machines. Sometimes, over time and over the pressure we put on them, or what we put into them, they start to break down. Again, thanks to medical science, we are able to diagnose these parts and start fixing them, or at least understand them enough to mitigate discomfort. So while it is unfortunate to have a kidney infection, as well as high blood pressure, you will likely survive and keep living your life. Then you can take steps to lower your blood pressure, thus extending your lifespan. Living a long life may be something you are interested in, so that you may continue having long and valuable relationships with your spouse and daughter, and to enjoy living life and experiencing the things you enjoy doing.

40 may seem old and scary, like reaching the end of a road. But in reality, it’s not the end of the road at all, you’re only 50% plus or minus down it. Take some time to reflect on your life, reflect on the things you want to accomplish, and start taking steps towards these goals.

Lots of body changes start happening after a certain age. Blood pressure, cholesteral, wrinkles, etc. It is just another stage we have to go through and it is scary. But think positively about it. Maybe it is a wake-up call to the over 40 crowd to start listening to our body and taking better care of it. Maybe you can share some activities with your daughter that would help lower your blood pressure (walking, biking) and just spend time alone with her.

To cheer yourself up I reccommend you go out and buy a dozen roses at a store or costco.
Then take them to the nearest assisted living or senior center and just hand one to each bored person you see. No need for talk. The smiles will turn your mood around.

This has always worked for me.

To all: thanks guys so much. Time to stop my pity party and move forward. I am going to bring flowers today to my husband’s grandmother who is in a nursing home and would love some company. You guys gave me the kick in the pants and inspiration to realize how foolish I have been.

It’s not foolish. It’s just giving in to emotions and thoughts that don’t really serve a good purpose. Everyone does it sometimes. You’re all the wiser for recognizing it and taking back control :)

Be sure your doctor checks your hormone levels. I turned 40 in October and have been going through something similar the last month or so (minus the kidney infection). When my doctor did a blood test as a follow-up on a bone density scan, it turned out my estrogen and progesterone levels were quite low, signalling that I am probably starting into peri-menopause. I know, I didn’t want to believe it either, but it is not unheard of at age 40. And it turns out that low hormone levels can cause both depression and anxiety—who knew?

Oprah had a whole show on this topic last week, and the February issue of her magazine has an article about it. I am in no way discounting the other suggestions—they are all good ones; just thought you should be aware that your condition may indeed stem from something medical.