Does it all come down to style?

Hmmmm, I don’t know if it’s all about style but rather about the details, the thought. I could serve you vanilla ice cream in a plain white bowl and it would be fine. But if I served you the same ice cream, in a colorful bowl, with a cute garnish or some topping on the side; it would be the same but better.

Some people don’t do detail. They don’t think in detail and therefore, don’t speak with detail. Some people are afraid to go deeper for fear of drowning. Some peoples insecurities get the best of them.

Applaud yourself for being bolder and having more depth; and make sure you spend time with some interesting people outside of work or you’ll lose your mind! :)

No. I dislike style and aesthetics. I think you’re just unlucky to have stumbled onto people with personalities like ironing boards. Then again, maybe you simply haven’t come upon something they’re passionate about. Next time you’re chatting with them, ask them “What’s something you’re passionate about?” And don’t try to talk, just listen to what they have to say.

@dynamicduo, A lot of them are interested in professional sports, which I do not much care about.

@LostInParadise: You get lurve just for that!

I don’t think your conclusion about style follows from your givens. It is not necessarily true that they have no style. They just don’t have a style or aesthetic that appeals to you.

Perhaps you need to think about what field you are in or where you work if you need more workplace stimulation. My sister worked for years in the insurance industry. One time, when she was not working, I had a project I needed some temporary help on, and I hired her to do it. I worked in high technology. It was a revelation to her. She loved the style of the business, enjoyed working with the engineers. When she started to look for work, she went completely out of her field and has never looked back!

It just might be a clash of interests. I once worked in an office where all the people sat at lunch together every day. At first it felt nice to be included but after a while I realized all they talked about was gardening, home decor and a little mild office gossip. I soon decided that life was too short to spend 45 min talking about if Susie’s dress was a little too short. I put out the story that I was on a diet and spent lunch time reading a book in a quiet place. I got the rep of being a little odd but that was OK.

i’m sorry that your co-workers are so boring. ):
a difference in interests could certainly be to blame, but i think that if that was the case, you’d notice. i know plenty of people who share few to no interests with me, but i don’t think they’re uninteresting. someone with opposing interests could still be a flutherer (i.e. interesting). maybe these people are just not that passionate about anything. but who knows, maybe one day you’ll stumble upon some topic that gets everyone fired up haha

For those who think it is just a matter of clashing interests, let me give an example. We have a few Indian workers and some of them encouraged us to go to an Indian restaurant for lunch to celebrate their holiday of Diwali. I asked one of the organizers what I thought to be an obvious question, what the holiday commemorates. She did not fricking know! Apparently she was not very religious, but how could you not know or care about what it is that is being celebrated?

If you worked with me, you’d probably find me quite boring too: I keep my work life and my private life mostly separate. My career is something I do reasonably well, and something I get paid well for, which is why I do it; it’s nowhere near where my passions are.

Perhaps a subcultural difference?

I noticed a big difference in culture when I changed employment from companies whose primary business is software development, to those where the primary business is something else, and have software development only to support the primary business (Such as a bank or a medical facility).

At the software development shop, the conversation is different, the socializing is different, and the humor is different. It took me quite a while to adjust. (Though within the development group, I’m still quite at home).

The Diwali example doesn’t mean much. You can go out to a Mardi Gras celebration and there are a lot of people out celebrating who couldn’t tell you what that’s commemorating. You’d probably find several people who’d tell you it’s about drinking, tits, and beads. :^>

They aren’t necessarily dull people because they don’t communicate about what you want, when you want, and in the way you want. I think it’s less about style and more about your expectations and wants regarding your co-workers.

I beg to differ. I think most of those on this site, if asking others to join in on a holiday celebration, would make the effort to see what the holiday commemorates if they did not already know it. If I went to celebrate Mardi Gras and did not already know its significance, I would make a point of finding out what it was. It is a matter of intellectual curiosity, trying to see how the immediate ties into the larger scheme of things that people here possess and my co-workers do not.

Maybe they think you are dull and styleless as well.

Work is not really the place for deep, abstract discussions.

Well, I am someone who’s curious about such things. This one person you asked may be more interested in going to eat Indian food together in this group. That doesn’t mean they’re dull. Celebrations aren’t just about the original thing being commemorated. Maybe this is a social awareness of the situation that you’re lacking.

@tinyfaery Why shouldn’t there at least occasionally be conversations with a little bit of depth and why should I be completley discouraged from trying to start one? Maybe not if you do construction work, but certainly if you do intellectual work with college educated people. I have worked at other places where things were much different.

@LostInParadise: I’ve been in many workplaces with college educated people. Often people are into their own work while at work. These same people can talk about a lot of different interests in purely social situations. A lunch out with a bunch of co-workers isn’t really purely social.

I’ve also been in workplaces with people of mixed educational backgrounds where people want to talk about anything and everything. It’s not necessarily about where you work.

Some people think laterally and not in a colourful way or even if they do they don’t use language as their paint box – you seem to enjoy how words are used – why don’t you write a book about the people at work?? Go for it – get yr own creativity out there.

@Lost

Why can’t a construction worker carry on an in depth, conceptual conversation?

I know plenty of college educated people with vapid personalities.

You can try to start an intellectual conversation, but don’t be disappointed if the effort is not reciprocated. At work I just stick to the small stuff. I can talk politics or existentialism with my wife.

The style come.If that one is uncommon than the others.I mean in any way he likes to with out the resolt of the publik….........

I’ve found it difficult to find people that i can relate to as well… best of luck x

Edit: oh and yes i do think it’s all about style and art, and thought and connections between human beings…or even beings in general…

No. It all comes down to MONEY!