I have a friend, who wants to end a relationship, is it better to end it before or after V-day?

If he doesn’t do it before, then it will probably end on Valentine’s day.
Unless he really wants to get some…

It’s going to hurt either way. But from watching the experiences of friends, it hurts even more when the dumpee thinks the dumper just waited until after Valentine’s Day for the loot.

Seriously if “your friend” is you admit it. If it’s not I don’t think you have any right to ask a question about someone else’s relationship…

That being said, Do it before.

I was trying to tell him it’d be better to do it before, I wanted more neutral opinions that I plan to show him. So at that point he can take them into his consideration.

Holy shit. This situation seriously just happened to one of my close friends, she was the dumpee. =[ Anyway, he broke up with her before V-Day. Of course she was sad, but imagine how she’d feel after the special day. Valentine’s Day is a day to show people you love and care about them. If you don’t, then it kind of all feels like a lie afterward. I say break up before Valentine’s Day.

@Perchik: He’s online. He doesn’t know any of us. Why would he lie about it being him? People ask for advice here all the time. And even if he was, who cares? Is the advice any different? People also ask advice for other people here all the time. Sheesh.

Before Valentines day. I’m sure she has some good friends who will support her and Valentines day could be a good opportunity to mentally, just a little, ‘start fresh’.

It isn’t me, if you’ve followed any sort of thread on this site about dating and things like that, you probably would have remembered me saying something about always being single, or just not dating. Or that I didn’t have a V-day date.

I had someone wait until after my birthday to break up with me. I knew things weren’t going well, and it just felt terrible knowing that he strung me along to spare my feelings. Let her get on with her life now.

The first time I read the title I was wondering when “virginity day” was and if we have that in England. I’m not even tired.

If valentines day is important to the girl for any reason beyond free chocolate, he should end it today. Or last week. Otherwise, it doesn’t really matter. A Hallmark holiday shouldn’t be a consideration either way, in my opinion.

After for sure who wants to be that dumpee on Valentines day all sad and stuff!

My two cents…if he wants to end the relationship and if he cares about this girl at all (or ever has), he will be honest with her and break up with her before Valentine’s Day. First, if he isn’t a good ‘actor’, she’ll know something isn’t right anyhow and it won’t be an enjoyable Valentine’s Day. Second, if he is a good ‘actor’ and she doesn’t realize that something is wrong, she will realize after he breaks up with her that something was wrong and it will make her question her judgement and their relationship (ie, “How long has he been ‘pretending’ to like me?”, “Did he just use me?”, “Was he just hanging on to me until someone ‘better’ came along?”). He can even tell her that he knows it is lousy timing to break up just before Valentine’s, but that he respects her and their relationship too much to pretend that everything is okay when it isn’t.

Before. You don’t want the day itself to be spoiled. In fact, he should do it now and not wait until too close before either. He’s an ass if he’s lying to her through valentine’s day.

My son once got dumped right after prom. In fact I think it was on the way back to the car and the ride home. He found out later on that that was her plan for a while beforehand since her parents already spent on the dress. His prom night might have been more fun if he’d been dumped beforehand and he’d just gone stag instead. Instead he ended up with this awkward night and these pictures of him looking happy and this nasty faker girl and a crushed feeling right afterward. Oh, wow, he has sooooo much better taste in women today.

With relationships, once you are sure about it, then do it fast and hard. Be serious. No hanging on to protect her feelings. You’re really just trying to hide from your own guilt.

Before v-day for sure!

That is a tough one, but I agree; if the dump comes after Valentine’s Day, then it’s probably going to make both parties feel worse for the prolonging. If the love is gone, then better to be true to himself and let it end.

Before.

For fuck’s sake! BEFORE.

Every girl who has been dumped on or after Valentine’s will remember it, bitterly.
There’s no need to be an ass.

Man up, dump her so her holiday isn’t ruined down the line.

Definitely before. Afterward is totally classless.

I have a friend who broke up with his girlfriend on V-day while we were having a party because a blizzard trapped us in our house and campus got closed… it was fun for everyone, especially because she lived next door :)

Before, before, before.

Valentine’s Day is just a big lie otherwise.

Thanks everyone, I think this should get the point across to my friend.

why does he want to dump her anyways?

the details of why he wants to breakup is somewhat irrelevant.

But to guess at a few reason that I can tell…they don’t seem to have as much in common as he thought they did, conversations are somewhat to be desired, and I’d say the age difference between them creates a bit of a barrier too. He’s 21, she’s 18…which isn’t a huge difference, but a social night out is much different if you have someone under the age of 21 coming with you.

I’ll leave it at that.

@RandomMrdan Well, good luck and I hope it’s not too painful for him or her. Before is definitely the right thing to do.

Before.

I know I should say “before” because that’s more honest. But unless the girl has a backup for that day, I’d say “after”. And try to make it as nice as possible. It’s bad enough that he’ll break her heart by dumping her, does she have to spend Valentine’s Day alone as well? I mean I personally don’t see the big deal in that day, but she probably does. Everyone else will be in couples and she’ll be all alone crying. He should try and break it to her as smoothly as possible.

Before. It’s just leading her on otherwise. I have a friend who wanted to go home on winter break, sleep with his girlfriend for the whole month he’d be home, and then break up with her right at the end of break, when he was going to be coming back home. I thought that was the most deceptive, most horrible thing he could do. It’s so nasty, and it’s so unfair to the other person, especially in my friend’s case because she has been waiting to see him for months upon months. She also will probably be planning something for Valentine’s Day, which will involve time, money, and energy on her part, assuming that she doesn’t expect this. And if she does expect it, what’s the point in waiting anyway?

My initial thought was to say wait until afterwards to spare her feelings. However, after reading all of these fine answers, I’ve changed my mind. Before is the way to go.

y wud he want to break up with him? i think they have to just pull it thru. and this isnt very good considering that he was her first person to lose her virginity to. she is going to be so heart broken. why wud he want to end it with her? hes probably going to miss out on a lot. and regret ever ending it. he shud wait till after valentines day at least.

well put rh11cp

that friend of yours should probably end it before v-day. it’s logical to. it would be selfish to celebrate v-day with a person you know your gonna dump.

So what happened?
Are they still together?

they’re still together, sorry for not updating everyone =(

oh, and he bought her a brand new ipod touch for like 270 dollars… he’s such a fool if you asked me.