What to do with my giant zucchini?

stuff it with some kind of delicious mixture of cheesy things and bake it for like hours?

<insert racy joke here>

hit andrew over the head with it.

zucchini soup – yum!

andrew: Yeah, didn’t realize the comic potential until AFTER I posted the question. I’m amazed you could resist. Anyway, here it sits, and the family is starting to be scared of what I might make with it. I could just make zucchine fritti (boring) or ratoutouille (kids LOVE sound of it because of the movie, but will then look at it on their plates, go “ewww, gross”, game over) or try something brilliant one of you comes up with.

It literally is as big as my lower leg, and would be a very effective weapon. Remember, vegetables don’t kill people, people kill people.

hossman:where did this giant come from?

Stade’s Farm Market. And I promise not to cook it until you come home and can see it for yourself.

Ditto on Erzaglenn on stuff it with cheese.

I remember my mom used to make stuffed zucchini.

First you cut lengthwise of zucchini

fill about one inch of water in pan (if you can find a big pan) smile
face half zucchini side down
cook until inside of zucchini is soft

Scrape out zucchini with ice cream scoop, put in bowl, mix with cooked hamburger, cooked onions, spaghetti sauce (rice or no rice optional) cheese and cook for about 20 mins?

then put more cheeese on top and broil til cheese melt.

Enjoy!

Any zucchini that big is probably woody as hell. As they get bigger and bigger they get tougher and tougher. I would dry it out and throw it in your fireplace for a cozy evening at home.

Keep it handy for any maurauding riffs who hang out near your house. What would be the legal infraction for walloping an intruder w. a zucchini? (remember the short story, by Roald Dahl -LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER) about a woman who bludgeoned her husband to death w. a frozen leg of lamb. Then she roasted it w. potatoes and peas and served it up to the detectives, w.a nice mint sauce.)

That is one of my favorite short stories. I love Dahl’s work, and recommend his short stories to everyone, if you thought he was just Willy Wonka, you should read his adult fiction. Even today, very edgy.

gailcalled – I was just thinking that.

@ezra; thoughts about Zuccini-Lethal Weapon IV, or Roald Dahl’s macabre and scarily imaginative stories?

I was going to suggest using it as a weapon ala Roald Dahl’s “Lamb to the Slaughter.”
Skin is one of my favorie short story collections.

SKIN is also creepy as is THE MAN FROM THE SOUTH. Come to think of it, they all are the stuff of bad dreams. Now that we have wandered off-topic, have you read Stanley Ellen’s short stories, especially THE SPECIALTY OF THE HOUSE.? And somewhere I read a tale about an icicle used to impale someone. I can’t remember who, what, where now. Does that ring any bells?

icicle = the lovely bones, I think.

That reminds me of a unicorn horn that was used to stab the rapist in a Veronica Mars storyline last year. The best part was when Andrew’s character had to pull it out!

@ezra: THE LOVELY BONES is a grim little recent novel about a teen-aged girl who is assaulted and murdered….by Alice Sebold. The icicle story was decades earlier. Any other ideas?

I am aware, I was just saying THE LOVELY BONES was the only examlple of an icicle being used as a weapon in literature that I could think of.

ezra: In Die Hard 2 (I think??) there was the first film death from icicle I can remember. Big huge honker comes & stabs guy right through the eye. Major quality kill!

To icicle lovers: I am thinking of a short story that I read as a teen-ager (and we ALL know now how long ago that was). I’ll keep searching. In the meanwhile, Maggiesmom, what happened to the giant zucchini? (asked w.a straight face, I promise.)

The Zucchini that ate Detroit, after having been proudly shown to peggylou, will probably become ratoutouille or soup as soon as I get a chance to cook it, at which time it will probably only be eaten by me, as the rest of the family apparently has some sort of religious aversion to zucchini (I thought I’d read all of Leviticus, but evidently not).

On the other hand, I may run it as the “anti-Hillary, but not Obama” Democratic candidate. I’ll bet it would pull at least 4–5%.

Hossman, beware—giant zucchinis often don’t have much flavor! I’ve heard that veggies when they get so large lose most of their flavor and can also be really tough to eat…so you might want to taste a small piece before making the largest pot of soup in the world :)