I was standing in front of the fish counter—they display the fish so beautifully at Whole Foods—trying to figure out if I wanted farm salmon, wild salmon, or guaranteed environmentally safe Chilean sea bass. I think I went with the wild salmon. Or maybe the scallops. They looked might good, too.
Anyway, I turned to put my fish in my cart, and what do you know? It was gone. This has happened to me before. Hell, I’ve done it myself. But what happened next has never happened to me before, and, god willing, never again.
I went towards the meat counter and I spied my cart. I could recognize it by the paper bags on the bottom. No one else ever seems to return their bags that way. She had her back to me, and her form was pretty hot from behind. But I was totally unprepared by that.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but I think you may have taken my cart.”
She turned around, and you could have struck me dumb! I think my mouth literally dropped. She was that stunning. But the funny thing was, well, her face was turning bright pink. She seemed to be even more embarrassed than me. I don’t know why I was embarrassed. I mean, it was my cart she had taken, but I guess in the face of such glorious beauty, well, it was like I was back in seventh grade. I made little stuttering sounds, which only made her face flush even redder.
This is not the kind of thing you ever forget, even if you don’t end up marrying the woman. Which I did. But that’s a story for another day.