Are you able to take a compliment?

Ditto for me. I feel uneasy when being complimented, and sometimes, I don’t take it as being sincere. Sometimes, too, when you try to shrug off the compliment, the giver is insulted.

If you try to insist that it’s not true, you only end up making a bigger deal of it. A simple, “Thank you, that’s nice of you to think so” enables the complimenter to feel good, and the conversation to switch to another topic much, much faster, making it less awkward.

I always feel embarrassed when somebody compliments me. I can’t think of anything to say in return, so I smile awkwardly and say thank you.

Ok, @Blondesjon – No more lurve for you. We wouldn’t want to make you feel awkward. :)

@bythebay…+5 only because I can’t give more :)

It is gratifying to the other person to know that you appreciate their compliment. So, if you are interested in the other person’s welfare as much as your own, then give them a full-blown “Thank you. I really appreciate hearing that.”

I was awkward with compliments, too, and then I decided I would be very intentional about accepting them, and I have to say I like it a lot more this way than before.

i feel uneasy being complimented because i do not know how to respond in time. I think really slowly- trying to figure out whether is it a sincere compliment or is it simply a sarcasm. I am happy when i am being complimented for something i feel that i truely deserve. I appreciate compliments because it boasts up my confidence. I need it occasionaly or else i will not be productive.

If I can think of something relevant that the other person deserves to be complimented on, I will, especially if we were in competition with each other. Generally, however, I go with the quiet, awkward thanks. I like the sound of kevbo’s suggestion, though, to make it a deliberate policy of giving a resounding “Thank you”. I used to try to downplay the compliment, but I have become convinced that that only makes things awkward for the giver; what are they supposed to say, “Oh, nevermind, I guess you’re not really that cool”?

I don’t care for compliments either. I tend to say “thanks” and then diminish whatever it is they are complimenting me on.

Compliments make me extremely uneasy. There are times when I’ll go to great lengths to show the complimenter how they are wrong. These tend to be when I’m depressed.

If I’m not actively disbelieving and disproving a compliment, I have trouble believing it. I think that people are complimenting me because they feel sorry for me, or because they are being polite. This, of course, is because I think that nothing I do is any good. I’m convinced that eveyone is better than me, even when I think I do a better job. Go figure.

Cimpliments are only believable when they come unexpectedly, and no one has to give them. So, if I ask, “how did I do,” then I’m screwed, because I’ll think people say things just because I asked and they don’t want to be unpolite.

When I’m feeling ok about myself, I can be polite and thank people for their compliments, and keep my thoughts to myself.

The weird thing is that I love compliments. I want nothing more than to feel like I am contributing and doing it well. I hardly ever—almost never feel that way. It’s not because people don’t necessarily think it, but that I can’t hear it, even if they do say it.

There are a few people who know how to give me compliments that I can hear and believe and accept. There is a special technique that gets through my barriers. Unfortunately the person who is best at it is no longer in my life.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was my friend Andrew telling me, “when someone gives you a compliment, just smile and say thank you.” Ever since then, that is exactly what I try to do. It isn’t always easy, but it is something to strive for.

edit :: that was off topic.

Thanks, that’s sweet of you.
And smile.

Depends who is giving me the compliment. Some people mean it and are sincere about giving a compliment. Others just say it to make themselves look good in front of other people. I can tell the difference between the two.

I agree with babygalll. There are sincere compliments which I always accept with genuine gratitude, and then there are backhanded compliments that usually precede a pissing match. One example for instance, was when a former competitor told me that I’d made “such a little go a very long way.”

Not very easily. And I blush (you wouldn’t think so by looking at my avatar, I know), so that makes it worse. But sincere compliments are always nice to get.

i’m so bad at taking compliments. i love them and everything, but i always feel like i’m responding with either too much or not enough.
sometimes i rattle off something to contradict their compliments though, i don’t know why. i’m getting better at just smiling and saying thank you. sometimes i want to compliment them back – genuinely – but i feel like if i do it then it’ll seem like i’m just saying it to be polite.

the best medicine for those unable to receive a compliment is to give them with sincerity and frequency. I used to have a hard time accepting any nice words but then something shifted one day when I realized almost every woman I know wishes they were thinner/prettier- you name it. I wondered why women, especially, were so hard on themselves and I started trying to call out the positive more when I saw it and then when I saw how hard it was for others to accept even the most obvious and valid compliments my perspective changed. So now, even when I feel like I don’t deserve it, I accept it with as much grace as I can because no one is more critical of you…than you.

I blush, turn into an blob of cuteness and say thank you repeatedly when complimented by someone. Or I’ll take the route of letting what they say sink in, nodding my head and saying thank you more concisely. More often than not, if it’s possible..I ALWAYS try to return the compliment too. Or I’ll be like “not really, but thank you.” If I don’t agree.

Taking compliments is tricky.

I have a habit of trying to deflect compliments and draw attention to someone or something else. I’ve never been comfortable with praise of any kind and was raised to not need external praise. I get REALLY bad if people are especially effusive…it makes me immensely uncomfortable and then I want to run away. I also have trouble believing people, so I probably come of sounding really ungracious because I tend to respond with things like “yah…sure…okay…” or laughter and a comment about them being insane.

I’m better at it than I used to be. I say thank you and let it go.

I have internal trouble. But externally I just say “thanks so much” or “that was nice of you to say”. I want them to know I appreciate them taking the time so the might take the time for someone else. (Which leads me to ask my own question)

I don’t know if everyone else’s parents did this, but whenever I’d come home and tell my mom that I did something good, she would give me some sort of put-down about not getting too big for my britches, or something to that effect. It made me really hesitant about my accomplishments, and question whether or not I actually do anything well.

@AlfredaPrufrock – My aunt did that all the time, so you’re not alone. I was constantly lectured on the sin of vanity to the point where I only showed her my report card to sign it, and I’d get harangued anyway for “thinking” I was “too good for some people” because of my grades.

Your parents, my aunt: Were wrong. Yay! You’re fabulous and have done wonderful things; don’t forget it.

@AlfredaPrufrock : that sounds so familiar. I was always reluctant to crow about anything. My parents were always calling me a “wiseguy” and saying I was “too big for my britches.” I don’t know if they ever put me down for an accomplishment, but they probably didn’t have to, because I never told them.

As a result, I was not proud of graduating from high school, college, or grad school. These things seemed to be the minimum requirement. For years, I was so ashamed of what I did, that I didn’t even want to talk to my parents.

For a while, I was finally ok with myself and what I was doing. It really helped to get married, and have kids. Once I was married, they didn’t want to scare off my wife. Once we had kids, they wanted to be able to see them.

So I was ok for almost two decades. But then I got mentally ill, and all that old shit came right back. So here I am, fighting once again to regain a sense of self that is halfway decent. When I think about it, tears come to my eyes, because I don’t believe I will succeed. So I try not to think about it any more. I just pretend it’s not an issue. Maybe that’s a form of faking it, until I make it.

@AlfredaPrufrock – You do SO MUCH well I can’t stand it!

I know exactly what you mean.

I would get 100% on a math exam and 3 out of 5 extra credit points and the first thing out of my Dad’s effing mouth would be “what did you get wrong”. Then he would ask “what kind of mistake was that”. And if you tried to explain it he would ask the question again. And if you tried to make him see how you slipped up he would ask again and again. The only correct answer was ” a stupid mistake”. Then and only then would he say “But good job!”

Yeah. If I had seven As and an A-, it was all about why that minus was there.

I’m reading all of this and taking notes about what to do/not do with my kids.

@laureth

I knew I had a long lost sister! Nice new icon!!!

I know what you mean, though the compliments I get are usually ones I’ve dealt with before, such as “you have a wonderful voice”. I just smile and say thanks of course (or give the autograph or whatever they wanted). The problems start when:

1) you get this old lady who thinks you’re Elvis and wants to chat you up for hours
2) most commonly, you get someone who knows nothing about music suggesting things like “you should do this professionally” or “you should make a CD” or “I have a cousin who just bought a flute/banjo/synth/oboe, why don’t you two get together and form a band?”

The best thing to do in case 2 is introduce the guy to the lady in case 1.

I try to take them in the shoulder

Thanks! It’s really me.

I get compliments alot, (I’m not bragging) and I always feel really uncomfortable. i used to actually tell people they were wrong when they complimented me, but my sister called me out on it so now i just smile and say thanks,but I’ve noticed recently that when someone compliments me I feel like they’re lying and then I don’t know what to do b/c if I take the compliment to heart and repeat my hair,shirt,makeup whatever and they were lying then I’ll look like an idiot. I don’t know what to do.