Have you ever had an "I want to crawl under the table" moment?

Seeing someone wave at you and waving back, only to find that they weren’t in fact waving at you… It has happened a couple of times and I always just want to make like an ostrich and plunge my face in the sand!

I usually just want to crawl under tables during earthquakes. Embarrassing moments usually just make me want to run away. I did that the other day at work. I had an entire convervation with someone and instead of using the name of the person I was speaking of, I kept using the name of the person I was speaking to. Confused the heck out of both of us. I ran away…

Most of the time I just laugh at myself. If I’m with a friend and I do something embarrassing I say something along the lines of “Well, that was silly.”
I’m sure there have been moments where I was mortified though. I’ll try to think up some and get back to this thread. =]

I was asked to dance by a girl at a 7th grade dance. I kind of thought she was cute and I was the shy one of my twin brother and I.

Well after dancing for about 30 sec she pulled back with this surprised look on her face, kind of laughing ran off the dance floor leaving me there by myself.

Turns out she thought I was my twin brother.

When I was in the Army, I was standing in a courtyard of a military training center with some fellow servicemen. A lieutenant (female type) walked past and I saluted her like I normally would any officer. This time though, there was a sign posted nearby that I totally missed that said “No hat, No salute area”.

The lieutenant came over and pointed to the sign and said, “you don’t really have to salute in this area if you don’t want to.” Without missing a beat and not using any brains, I came right back with “if in doubt, whip it out, ma’am.” Those following 15 or 20 seconds were some of longest and most awkward in my life. This was an ideal example of my “I want to crawl under the table moment”.

@Bluefreedom – oh my goodness. Was she good looking?

@Bri_L. If memory serves me correctly (this occurred early in my military career), she was attractive. The worst part of all was probably all the constant teasing from my buddies that were there when it happened. They never let me forget about it!

@dik2312 – That has happend to me so many times! It’s totally mortifying.

@Bluefreedom I had not even thought about that side of things. Yikes!

A few years ago, I inexplicably panicked during an improv scene onstage and started “No, but” instead of “Yes, and”. In front of an packed house. I ruined the scene by flailing around and crying. My scene partners were not pleased and let me know after the show.

I had had a crush on a guy at school and we were in the same sport. During the end of the year banquet, we exchanged gifts and I got mine announced to the entire room: “We know you like [Crushee], so here’s his picture and a black book with his phone number in it.” Every one laughed and laughed. I thought I’d kept my crush hidden, but apparently not. I thought I’d die right there. But I still have the photo and the black book!

where I work, our dispatch system involves the drivers receiving on-call stops on their Nextel two-way radios, and when the radios go down, we have to manually call them and give them every on call. Giant pain, and stops often get missed. Lately, corporate is using a new program on the Nextels, and it’s terrible. A dozen radios are down every night. In the office, we usually say “Jimmy’s down” or “R1 is down”... using either the driver’s name or the route he does. I know it’s confusing… but…

One night I had 8 down, and my team leader asked me how the night went, and I said, “I had EIGHT drivers go down on me last night!”

horror

@poofandmook I have no words. That must have been terrible. Can you laugh at it now?

@Bri: LOL yeah, my TL and I are really good friends, so after about 20 minutes, it was funny. But at first… whooooooo boy.

I worked in a building with a talking elevator. It was really funny if you got on and there were only women there. The elevator would say “going down,” and they’d all look at each other and titter. Or sometimes there would be red faces and a tense silence.

when i was younger (like 10yrs old) i had many moments where i wanted to crawl under the table, but not because i was embarrassed, it was because i was kind of a litte perv and had a foot fetish

nowadays i dont get uncomfortable when it comes to these embarrassing situations and i am thankfully over the foot fetish

Luckily for me, I have [developed through necessity] the ability to laugh at myself.

Lets see how many of these I can think of…

Most recently, I was half dating this guy during the election. Our first date had been the night before, and we were working together on the campaign. He was essentially running a large part of it, and was organizing all the workers in the teamsters union building’s auditorium. He was sitting on the stage. I arranged to pick him up some lunch because he’s working all day. I go get him lunch. There are drinks involved.
I walk in to the full auditorium, am about three feet from the stage, and drop everything. Drinks explode everywhere, its a huge mess, and a huge inconvenience. I was flabbergasted, speechless, and mortified. The room was silent and staring at me.
And then I had to repeatedly come back in to the room to clean it up using toilet paper because we couldn’t find anything else.

(I’ll come back with more of these stories, probably.)

@delirium: I’m sorry, but I’m cracking up right now.

@poofandmook Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell the story if I didn’t think it was pretty damn funny now. Also, I figure, if i’m going through that horror, someone might as well get a laugh out of it. ;)

OOH. Same campaign, i’m in the headquarters. I’m actually painting a large window for them to make HQ look spiffier and more inviting. This window is about six feet up and is one of those walk in windows where there’s a little mini window room that’s recessed up high with a little curb to separate it from everything else. I really liked it because my shortness came in handy and I could stand up completely in it. The problem with this is I didn’t look down much.

Room full of people calling on the phone, having meetings, etc… I’m working on the painting, take a few steps backwards to look at it from a distance and step backwards out of the window…. holding the paint.

My pride was hurt more than anything else.

My friend Dewitt and I are doing fake kung fu moves a-la-early powerrangers (but very slowly with sound effects just for a moment as a joke) in the theater as we (and the rest of the crew) are working on the set. It’s a slippery floor and the bottoms of my shoes are fairly slippy from sawdust.

I would have NEVER remembered this if it weren’t for what happened next. This is just totally two people acting like dorks doing something that shouldn’t be dangerous.
I slip, tear almost all the ligaments in my foot.

The theater teacher wouldn’t let me forget it. She completely flipped out and started trying to get me to fill out a bunch of paperwork. I’m trying not to ask that someone call 911 because there is no fucking way I could have gotten hurt from such a simple fall.
I assure the teacher that I am 100 percent fine, and probably just bruised something.

This explanation doesn’t fly with my mom, and she takes me to the orthopedic surgeon.

Coming in to school with crutches and a cast after assuring everyone that I was completely okay was more horrible than it sounds like it could be.

My friend’s mother invited several of us to eat at a restaurant,while looking at the menu,she told us;she had just received a credit card in the mail and wanted to use it for the first time at this restaurant ,,,,,“Thank God”,she decided to double check with the waiter whether the establishment accepted that particular card,,,,it turned out to be a Bed,Bath & Beyond discount card that vaguely resembled a credit card.
The waiter asked the manager about the card,,,to make a long story short, we had the entire wait staff and the manager come over and laugh at us !!!
Were a bunch of idiots trying to pay for our meal with a BB&B card !!
We w
*I would have paid 1k for a paper bag !

I have a guilt complex so it’s like a daily thing…