What should i do?
Asked by
enjonel (
22
)
February 15th, 2009
Its almost been a year since my boyfriend and i became a couple. Things moved faster than i expected, pregnant. At the same time i still feel as if i dont know this person. He just recently told me he love me, but really and truely i dont think he does. I say that because i know the meaning of that four letter word. Since he finally told me he doesnt show me. I’ve shown him there’s nothing i wouldnt do for him, such as cooking, being honest and faithful, giving up the most and dearest being to make sure things would remain the same and drama free at his home plus anything else he needs. I’ve been there, never told him no within reason. I dont ask for anything unless i really need it. But when i am in need i can’t count on him. I have doctors bills for our baby im carrying plus other needs. What should i do?
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6 Answers
sigh
… I don’t even know where to start…
If you feel that this man won’t provide for the baby you’re bringing into this world, get rid of him. This is no longer about the two of you, it’s about the baby. Do whatever you have to to provide a stable life for your child, even if it means doing this alone. If I may ask, how old are you?
I would trust your gut. We don’t have our noggins for nothin’! You know, love is a two way street, we shouldn’t make compromises with ourselves for anyone that doesn’t genuinely care about us, knowwhatimsayin? Try calling social services to see if you can meet with someone who can show you what options you have. Hang in there!
You’re about to be a mama. Huge huge event; huge life change. You deserve and need all the congratulations and love in the world. Where are those things coming from right now?
Head off in that direction as fast as your legs can carry you.
do what’s right for you and the baby.
I think you need to have an open and honest conversation with him. Don’t be too quick to dump him and move onto the next. That is why there are so many broken homes.
Tell him that you think you can make a happy family together. Explain that if he is scared of the responsibility that that is ok, you are too. Most fathers don’t feel they are “ready” when they take on the role but you will be surprised how quickly they are inseperable from their children.
Talk to him, explain your feelings but not in a telling off way. Find an appropriate time. Not in the middle of football or as soon as he comes through the door. Maybe after a nice meal or when he’s relaxed. If he makes it clear he’s not going to be the man you need then you may well have to break up. Don’t emotionally black male him or give him an ultimatum. If he doesn’t want to be with you and the baby then forcing him will not help. But letting him know it’s ok to be scared or not ready and that you both can be happy is the key. He also has to be prepared that a lot more of your time and attention will be on yourself and then the baby than he may of been used to. This can be hard for some guys to understand and they may take it as you don’t care about them as much.
With or without the baby every relationship goes through hard times and how you deal with that – break up at the first sign of trouble, or try to work through it will determine whether you will be in a happy stable relationship in 15 years time when your child is in hisher teens looking for role models or onto boyfriend number 5 which may disappear at the first sign of trouble.
Good luck
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