To you, how important is sexual attraction in a relationship?

Does it hurt anything to give it a shot? You might be pleasantly surprised.

The more you like her, the more attractive she will become. I wouldn’t stress about it just yet.

I think it’s an important factor..for me at least. But I’ve found recently, it doesn’t take a super model to make me completely and totally into a girl… I have a certain someone on my mind lately, and she is by no means a super model, but to me… gorgeous, to someone else, average.

I’d see how things go, you may find yourself more sexually attracted than you may think.

You can get surgeries to fix mostly anything wrong. they have books to teach about anything. But you can’t fix stupid.

hmmm TJ..not so sure about this one… kiss her…then you’ll know… it’s in her kiss too ya know!

I decided to throw looks out the window for the most part. I just want a cute girl who is amazing in other aspects. Unfortunately this will never happen to me b/c I can set aside amazing looks for personality but I live in Ohio so neither are very common….

@madcapper Right off hand I know 4 amazing young females from Ohio who are both gorgeous and have awesome personalities, so maybe all the good ones are moving to Tennessee?

@lynneblundell So you think if the kiss isnt there (which will hopefully come this weekend:) then I should forget about falling in love with this one?

@tennesseejac well if I run into them I would love it haha

Dunno mate,

but in the beginning the excitement is the biggest, and then with time it goes downhill. If you’re not physically attracted now, how will it be 6 or 12 months down the road. I see drama potential.

This may sound rude, but comes from experience.

Not so necessary for me, I like to do it with the lights off anyways or at least a slight silhouette but I was once in love with someone that was overweight in all the wrong places which eventually was one of the reasons I called it quits.

Wait for the kiss.

@madcapper lol dude I live in Ohio and there are plenty of good looking women to go around! And if you aren’t satisfied you could always outsource (my fiance is not from Ohio).
Anyways to answer the question, I know what you mean there are some beautiful women that I know and I would not necessarily be ready to jump on them if I had the chance. I think RandomMrDan has a good point. The better you get to know someone the more you usually become attracted to them. So you know, playing it slow might just work on this one, and another benefit, she will think you are into her and not just her body. Which would be true at some point. Its a good way to start a relationship off.

It’s important. Don’t make the mistake of underestimating sexual attraction in a relationship.

Eh I guess I didn’t really answer the question. To me sexual attraction is very important. Obviously it is not the only criteria and the others are arguably just as important. But without sexual attraction you just have a best friend.

Sexual attraction is important, but instant sexual attraction does not equate to meaningful sex. Maybe be she’s not interested in casual sex with you and isn’t trying to attract you.

I believe Eminem said it best in his song Business:

They make it all up
There’s no such thing
Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans

But, yea, it’s very important. <insert NaturalMineralWater’s comment here>

Happens to me all the time.

Yes, if you are (for whatever reason) not sexually attracted to her, then it will never work. You may of course make the extra effort, or she may do something to make herself look more sexy for you, but if the spark is not there, your relationship is doomed.

And not only will you not enjoy sex with her (the least of our problems), but you will make her feel really bad, since she can sense the rejection, despite your best efforts. Women are so much better at this than we are, and it’s a shame to isult her in this way, especially if she’s a nice girl. Maybe you can just be friends instead. But she needs someone who will appreciate her beauty and she must feel wanted. For her own sake more than yours.

Do you think a part of not being attracted has to do with not being over a past relationship?

It’s pretty important to me…I was in an almost 2-year relationship with a guy whom I loved like crazy but just wasn’t attracted to, and though I didn’t want to break up with him, I did “slip up” a few times toward the end of the relationship when we didn’t have sex for quite awhile. Since then I’ve been making sure that there is a good amount of physical attraction there for any guy I date. Obviously other things, like personality and intelligence, mean a lot more to me in the long run, but physical attraction IS one of the things I need to truly be happy in a relationship.

I think sexual attraction IS important in a relationship, but it may not come immediately once you first see them.

I wasn’t attracted at all to my bf when I first saw him. at all. I figured dating him was out of the question…hmm guess not.

It is important. Sex is part of a healthy relationship – on so many levels. People fight about money, lack of sex and then all the other things in life. It’s a huge factor.

Give it time, A first date may not be the best indicator. Give it a little more time, listen to your inner voice, it if doesn’t seem right, you probably are right.

Jack79 nailed it. To me, sexual attraction is very important. When I met my husband, it was there right from the start. I don’t think it’s something that you can slide into. I see guys that I just KNOW it’d be hot with, & others I go, eh. I think it’s either there or it’s not.

tennesseejac, this doesn’t look good, in my opinion.

If you think someone is amazing and good looking, isn’t that attraction? It seems to me that if you are attracted to someone, you can’t know about sexual attraction until you’ve actually had sex. Conversely, if you aren’t what you call “sexually attracted,” then you aren’t really attracted to her. I don’t think personality and beauty can come separately from sexual attraction. Something is wrong with this equation.

Either she isn’t really beautiful in your eyes, or there is something about her personality that turns you off. There are many beautiful women with uninteresting personalities. You might want to hang out but nothing more involved. If the sexual attraction isn’t there, the relationship will never get very deep.

Or you’re still emotionally attached to someone else, and can’t see yourself cheating on that attachment with this person, because they deserve more.

I think it’s important. I need some sort of chemistry, otherwise, he’s going in the “friend” box.

It’s important to me. If I like someones personality but aren’t sexually attracted to them, they become a friend.

Yup, it’s extremely important—in fact, I won’t have sex without it!!!

It’s important, but like some other people said, wait til a little to see if it happens. After a kiss or two, if it’s not there maybe it just isn’t.

I wasn’t sexually attracted to my bf when I first met him either. He’s just so not my type. After a few kisses and some great times together, I realized I couldn’t get him out of my mind and realized- WOAH.

daloon I actually understand what tennesseejac means. I have also found myself in many situations where an objectively pretty girl with a nice personality wanted to be with me, but I simply could not feel that “spark”. Admitting someone is objectively beautiful does not mean you are sexually attracted to them. I’ve even had sex with a girl that was sexy and was doing everything right, and still hated it, for whatever inexplicable reason. I guess it’s what people mean when they say “chemistry”. The best sex I’ve ever had was with a fairly average girl who wore glasses and nobody would have noticed much in a crowd. So everything is relative.

@Jack79 Exactly.

@Jack79—I guess I’ve never had that experience, so it’s hard for me to understand. I generally tend to go for brains first, and hope it comes in a nice package, but that’s not so important. I have felt that spark with someone and have it slowly disappear. That has not happened with my wife, and I am very grateful for that.

In my opinion, it requires you to ask another question of yourself. Namely, “What do I want out of this relationship?” I’m more than happy to be an a non-sexual relationship with someone that’s not only interesting and funny, but who balances my strengths and weaknesses. If you’re looking for a more physical, intimate relationship, then yes, appearances and sexual attraction would play a more significant part. It really comes down to what you think will make you happy.

It sound’s as if you have or share no real chemistry with this girl you’ve been seeing recently. Perhap’s she does not have those striking personality feature’s that fulfill and compliment your own. It seem’s she is good looking and attractive but I suppose since your looking to make perhap’s that sense of emotional connection to have a real sexual attraction is lacking in the personality you desire in a girl which reflect’s and challenge’s your own.

Personally I’d have to say sexual attraction is one of the main point’s of primary connection you have and establish with a potential partner so I’d have to say yes in that regard it is important. However during the pro’s and con’s after 6month’s or so when youve put your best foot forward and see the uglier side of thing’s it really depend’s on the person.

I’m the type that is initially attracted to a good looking person, but after meeting its crucial for me to have that personality and emotional attachment otherwise I’d lose that interest fairly quickly.So sexual attraction for me is definetely important but can only take you so far in reality it will never substitute the type of personality and emotional connection which is fundamental to have a fulfilling relationship (unless your in it for just the sex that is) =^.^=

It’s important to me. If i were you, i’d give it a little more time, sometimes your feelings change – it’s happened to me before. At one point i didn’t find someone sexually attractive at all, but later down the line, i did!
:)

Sexually attraction is necessary I would think. Especially in a romantic relationship. Personally, if there’s no sexual pull and no chance of having that connection with them, why would I bother dating them?

I think sexual attraction is very important, a great relationship needs to have passion. But the emotional connection also needs to be there. It’s complicated and it’s different for everyone. I would give this girl a chance, be open to different posibilities, if you are going into this without an open mind then the relationship IS doomed to fail.