Do you drop off your kids for B-Day parties (age 4 yrs or so) and leave them if you don't know the parents/family?

I don’t have kids, but I can’t imagine just leaving them there under those circumstances.

Then again, as a cashier in a grocery store, you’d be amazed how many people would leave their kids with me (but take their purse with them) when they ran back to get something.

I would not leave under those circumstances. Also would not leave if my child was uncomfortable without me, regardless of whether I knew the family or not.

When I had my daughter’s first party when she was younger, I was SHOCKED to learn some parents don’t provide FOOD for the other parents. It was an assumed thing for me to provide food.

I never left my kids at parties when they were preschoolers. Even as they’ve gotten older I always make sure I speak to the supervising parents and I ask all kinds of questions.

EDIT ….how many parents dropped their kids off….

Unless we knew the parents pretty well and my daughter was comfortable staying –
no way in hell

At the farm I work at, we’ll sometimes have workshops for children (make a bird feeder, gingerbread houses, etc.). I am always shocked at the parents who will drop off their kids and disappear. Not just leave the workshop, but completely leave the farm.

me: “um, where’s your mommy?”, child: “I dunno”. WTF

They probably think of it as free babysitting.

@laureth That’s exactly it. Then they’ll stroll in at the end of the workshop like nothing happened.

Amazingly, the kid is always unfazed – like this happens all the time.

Whew! Thanks to all who have answered thus far. I actually cringed when my kid got another invitation to another party.

(This means I have to make the awkward phone call to a mom I don’t know to bascially say “hey, I don’t know you well enough to trust you so will you let me into your home to monitor things to protect my kid….?”)

After going to the first party, I kinda started questioning whether or not I was being overprotective. I spoke to my SO last night and said well….whether I am or not, gotta go w/ my gut.

At the first party we were at….many parents literally walked their kids to the door, said “see ya in a couple of hours” and left. A couple of the kids had mini-episodes that were quickly handled by the handful of moms that were at the party….but geez!

When I was younger and my mom didn’t know the kid who’s birthday it was or their parents very well she would find out who else was invited. She would not just drop me off and leave especially if she didn’t know the parents or any of the other kids there.

Nope, never did. And the “sanity rule” on birthday parties is invite the number of guests that = the age of the birthday child. Turning 4, four guests. Otherwise, it’s chaos and meltdown city.

@AlfredaPrufrock Great rule of thumb.

No. I was always surprised at the number of people who left their kids at my kids parties, without even leaving a phone number where they could be reached. Even for one-on-one play dates, I didn’t leave them unless I felt completely comfortable with the parent.

I would not really be worried, but I’d rather stay and watch. Not so much an issue of trusting the other parents, mainly wanting to be there in case my daughter needs me, misbehaves or just gets bored or something. Besides, she is still daddy’s girl, and due to particular circumstances does not want to spend a second away from me.

And this is a perfect way to get to know the other parents…..

I would probably ask the parent when RSVPing if adults were welcome to the party too. I would prefer to stay though. More than likely I’d help out but I’d just feel more comfortable being there just in case.

I’d worry about relatives drinking at the party, pets that are not kid friendly etc.

If it were a close friend having the party, I’d still stay so I could help out.

Most of our birthday parties (both given and attending) were held within the bounds of classmates from the Montessori preschool our kids attended. As such, almost all the parents not only knew each other but stayed at the party. We typically always provided both kid and adult foods and beverages (sodas and some beer), and we often had as many as 25 children under five with no fights or arguing. I love Montessori techniques!

A few times we were invited to other birthday parties, more like the ones you are describing. While some parents simply dropped the kids off, I always asked the mom if I could stay and give her a hand, and they always said yes.

The one exception was a party given by a British mom. She allowed several of us parents to sit in the formal living room, with crustless cucumber and butter sandwiches and a big pot of tea, and proceeded to hold an all-girl party like one out of a book. Every activity was choreographed completely, she planned every last detail, and she needed no outside help. The kids had no choice but to toe the line, and the parents felt a bit out of their league.

When my kids were little (and much to dismay, still now that they are teenagers) I wanted to be certain that they were both safe and not causing a problem.

I never dropped my kids off when they were pre-schoolers and like Gimme I never leave them now without meeting the parents and checking the place out. Like you Snoopy I was always stunned by how many parents did leave their kids.

@Snoopy – I wouldn’t even call to tell the other mother that I was going to stay, honestly, I’d just assume that I was staying with my kid!

In general, unless it was a really small party and I was very close friends with at least one parent who I knew was staying, I wouldn’t even consider leaving my kid alone at a birthday party until he or she was 6 or 7. I much prefer parties where they assume a parent will stay – for example, my 5-year old sister was invited to a party that took place at the zoo, and her invitation was free admittance for one child and one adult. So much simpler that way!

It always starts with a drink and ends up with “what was I thinking”

That was recycled from another question but I thinks it works here.

@galileogirl what…..?

That would be the answer of a parent who left a 4 year old with strangers and an answer I used on a different question today…

@galileogirl Ah. Thanks for the clarification….

Only for certain parties have I or did I ever think to do a drop and run. Those were prearranged things, too. We make those arrangements with very close friends, to allow them the freedom of a couple of hours to get things done. However, I am always amazed by people that will just do a drop and run and they don’t even know the parents!

I don’t know why I’m shocked, though. I’m a Girl Scout Leader, it’s hard enough to get the parents to walk in to just talk to the leaders or to make sure the right person is picking up their child!

@cprevite nailed it.
What goes – or does not go – through the minds of some parents???

i dont have kids but I would still say no. because thats a child and especially hearing about all of these kids getting kid napped and murdered nowadays just makes me think if everyone is turning on each other.

No Way!!!!!!!!

The worst experience I had with drop off parents was when they left their kid at a lunch party and then didn’t pick him up until 9PM. I was just about ready to call the cops.

Many look at it as free babysitting. Until I really knew the parents, I stayed. Heck, sometimes, the spouse would have the parents that stayed out on the deck, or in another room playing eucher, or other “adult” activities to ease the overcrowding.
PLUS a lot of the parents that drop off, are the ones you really want to stay at if they ever had something at their house.

Absolutely not

No, I would never consider leaving my child, any age, at a home of people I had not met. I would not leave him at a public place, such as Chuck E Cheese either. When they get older, I would never drop them off at the Boomers amusement park or Laser Tag. I always go with them, and sit in the Mom’s pavillion.

I wouldn’t. I would get to know the parents before hand. i have a 6 year old girl and i am very cautious, especially with all the child kidnappers or killers lately. not to say that will happen, but its best to be safe than sorry, right?

I don’t think you should ever drop off kids at 8 or under. I say assume you are staying at the party, the parents will thank you for staying and being with your child. I just hosted and two parents “dropped off” their kids without even telling me they were leaving and this was at a 4 yrs. old party. Any party we go to, I stay with my child, it is rude to think the hosting family should have to babysit other children. I was so mortified when I found out they had left. I didn’t get to enjoy my child’s party because I was running the kids to the potty, getting them dressed when the soaked themselves with the rubber duck pond game…. I am not inviting those families again. I even phrased the invite with the “child’s name” & family!!!