If you won an Oscar, how would your acceptance speech go, and who would you want to present you with your Oscar?

id say um a lot, be completely hysterical, and forget to thank someone important. haha

“I would like to thank God, the Academy, my mom and dad for having me…” My Oscar will be for Best Adapted Screenplay and will presented by Ron Eldard and Meryl Streep. My first choice for female presenter would have been the late Julia Phillips, but since she is the Late Julia Phillips, I’ll go with Streep.

“Thanks for the statue and all, but really… why are you watching this still?”

Cool! Is it chocolate?

i want robert downey jr and natalie portman presenting mine. oh man, i’d like michael douglas too, but. no. christopher walken. either robert, natalie, or christopher.

my acceptance speech would…just not go well. especially with any of those people ^ standing with me. “um, ohmygod, thank you, ohmygod guys, robert downey jr just touched my hand when he gave me this thing, oh.my.god.”

“Thanks guys. Thanks to everyone who helped make it, saw it, and voted for me.”

Of course, it would be a five minute speech because of the hyperventilating.

“I would like to take a moment to thank Mrs. Fields. Without her ability to conjure up the most insanely yummy circles of goodness on the planet, I would not have had the energy to get through this film.”

I would like Alton Brown to present the award to me.

I would make certain to curse the Academy, for they are the bane of my existence. In fact, I think my verbal attacks on the Academy would be the bulk of my speech. The rest of it would be sexual and racist jokes.

Naturally, Kanye West would be ideal to present me with my award. My arrogance would cancel out his, and the universe would be at peace once more.