What is it that defines you most?
Asked by
GAMBIT (
3963)
February 23rd, 2009
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53 Answers
Someone’s gotta be the first to say it, might as well be me:
my penis. (or more specifically, my genitals).
It’s a boundary value problem.
Appling Stokes theorem: You are (what you eat) – (what you excrete).
@Grisson Hey! What are you trying to say???
My personality: the sum of my beliefs and actions.
@tb1570 I’m not sayin’... I’m just sayin’... :o)
my relationships with those around me
My elbow!
what the hell is this question about???
@daloon – the question is simple others have answered. If you are defined by your elbow so be it.
Externally – my character
Internally – my perceptions
@GAMBIT: I’m sorry for being stupid. The question is simple to you, but I don’t understand it. Again, pardon me for asking a dumb question. Still, I wonder if you could, you know, like be magnanimous enough to tell me what this question is about? What kind of definition do you want? What kind of answer do you want? Do you just want noise? I gave you noise. You want a real answer, you help me out here, ‘cause I just don’t get it.
@daloon – Some of what defines me is what makes me the person that I am. Being a husband and father defines me. Having faith in a higher power defines me and the type of work that I do defines me but others that answered this question have helped me to realize that there is more.
My love for my family, wanting to be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister that I can be.
Also, my love for the outdoors.
@GAMBIT: so this is like a description of you based on your core attributes, except instead of being specific, you just indicate that you have various attributes?
@daloon – no it is simple in nature.
I’ve said this before, so excuse me for being repeat-o girl, but I try not to define myself. First and foremost because defining myself is limiting, also because I do not believe tinyfaery, as a person, is a constant. I am constantly changing. Okay, so maybe I define myself by my changeability and lack of definition. Does that work?
@tinyfaery – yes I think that is a fair answer. Thanks
My boobs, closely followed by my sexuality. I used to reject the notion of that as sexist and superficial, but when I embraced it, I realized that I can own it and make use of it. I’m a sexual person, and I have accepted that and figured out how to best utilize and appreciate that fact. My personality is the summation of myself, yes, but I have no qualms about admitting that my sexuality, mentally and physically, is well ingrained into who I am. I’d be a completely different person without my sexuality and the physical manifestation of it. My intelligence is right up there though, and I feel it goes hand in hand with these other traits.
I’ve based my sense of self on someone else’s definitions for a very long time, so I am still figuring this out.
Nothing defines me. I am me. Plain and simple. There are people and things and activities in my life that I enjoy, but they do not define me.
Maybe I read too much Eckhart Tolle…
My values, my perceptions, my choices.
@essieness – very interesting.. yet you exist.
I will see if I can get a book on Echart Tolle. I feel I am defined by many things since I am part of many things. If someone would ask “who are you”? I would have a list ready (but that would be a different question). Thank you.
@GAMBIT Eckhart Tolle’s writings are somewhat similar to some Buddhist principles (IMO)... obliterating the ego. Forgive me, but my brain is not functioning quite well today, so I might not make much sense. I know what you mean about having a “list”, and I might too. I am a pianist, a photographer, a reader, a daughter, a friend, and so on. But to say those things define me I feel is incorrect. Those are simply pieces of my life. Even if those things disappeared, or were untrue, I would still be me. My soul would not change. Does that make sense?
Anyway, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle was very good!
@essieness – Yes you are saying what defines you can not be seen or touched it is the real you. Please correct me if I am wrong.
@GAMBIT You are exactly correct!
External forces make no difference. They shape my experiences in life, but not my true self.
@essieness – as we find the true self or are lead to the true self do we find oneness with the world around us so much so that definitions become diminished?
Daloon’s compassion and sense of connection with all humanity motivates him to work to improve the lives of all people in the world, while being gentle with our environment. Creativity and improvisational skills guide him through life. Concern for his family is central at the moment. His dream is to try to encourage more people to act increasingly from a place of compassion. He is frustrated by knowing how to do this, but not knowing how to explain it.
@daloon – WOW!! Five star answer. Thank you
@daloon Great answer!
@GAMBIT Sort of. Yeah, that might be part of it. I definitely have felt that way. Especially as it relates to nature and other human beings. Compassion for the world and those who live in it helps with that. For me it has been more of letting go of the ego and not allowing it to control my thoughts and actions. Stepping away from wanting, needing, focusing too heavily on the past and the future. Realizing that exactly where I am at this exact point in my life is exactly where I’m meant to be. I find happiness in my current situation. Also for me, letting go of people and things that are a negative influence on my life. If I am involved with someone or something that prevents me from growing spiritually or leads me to stray from my true self (i.e., directing my attention away from compassion and contentment with my current situation), then I simply cut the person or thing from my life. The end result has been that the people and activities that ARE in my life are positive reinforcers for my goals.
And now I’m rambling…
@TitsMcGhee Sorry to inject some levity into such a serious topic, but I can’t help laughing at the picture of Tits’s brain (her “intelligence”) walking hand in hand with her boobs (which she identifies with her sexuality.) Cool!
I guess part of what defines me is my sense of humor and enjoyment of whimsy. In addition, compassion, intelligence, an addiction to reading, and love of my sons.
@essieness – I have been on the same journey and it has brought order from chaos into my life. I have been trying to be more attentive to my surroundings and allowing positive energy to continue to flow into my life. It seems I am the only one that gets in the way of myself when it comes to fulfilling this goal.
My relationships, decisions, passions and beliefs.
@janbb: That is a lol indeed, but I think they work together well because I know how to intelligently use my physical sexuality, so the brain just lets me use the breasts better.
@GAMBIT That’s an excellent point. Maybe you have mastered the art of truly not allowing external forces (people and things) influence you. I’m envious!
@essieness – I appreciate your kind words and I am humbled by your knowledge on the subject of losing the ego something I wrestle with often.
My goal is to be able to sit in silence for long periods of time and be happy. To me it would be a dream come true but I am not able to do that yet. I would like to hear the cars, the birds the rain, the knock on the door and not be swayed into a particular thought pattern.
On the plus side I can finally say I am fine with the person that I turned out to be. Years ago I would have not been able to say that but again here comes my ego :-)
My passion for life. Not merely just existence. But truly living. Healthy, sick, dying – but still making the choice to live and experience life, in any way you possibly can. I share that passion with my family. We’ve learned, through my illness, how to continue on with life. We stumbled for a little while, but we’ve figured it out – at least how we can deal with and live our lives. When you stop wanting to learn, stop wanting to do -you might as well just give up.
I think of the years I spent just going day-to-day, thinking that was what life was, nope, not me. Not anymore.
@cak – and cak you have been an inspiration to others because of your endurance and positive attitude. Thank you
@GAMBIT – thank you! Believe me, I’ve learned from a bunch of great people. Gotta get back to work now…I’ve goofed off long enough. Have a great day. :)
@cak Lots of lurve to you for your courage and grace. It is a privilege to have you in our community. I don’t pray but my thoughts are with you for the best possible outcome you can have.
So many great answers here! For myself, I think it comes down to my brain. Everything about it, and everything in it makes me who I am.
My individuality, my very sarcastic personality, my uniqueness, my ever present optimism, and a very happy-go-lucky, down to earth, middle of the road outlook on each day of my life.
The way I barely talk in person, and talk too much online.
I am defined by my refusal to let others define me.
It is my life to lead as I see fit and I will not let someone else try to make me into what they think I should be.
I think @TitsMcGhee took each and every word out of my mouth. Seriously.
For me it definitely is my boobs, and sexuality.
I’m a very passionate and sensual person. I love love, I love life, I love beautiful things.
My sense of who I am regardless of whether I can define it. There is no real words for me, I guess, to describe what I feel is inherently my sanity, my spirituality, my love, dreams, etc. I am better at naming the things that I do NOT want to be defined by than my core values/how I define myself. I feel that definition more than I can explain it.
I have no clue. That’s probably why I bounce around life so randomly.
Oh. I forgot. My ridiculous, sometimes accidental, yet crude and sweet sense of humor that bothers the fuck out of some people.
I am my daughter’s father first and foremost. After that, I am a former rock singer. And someone’s lover. And some other people’s teacher. And someone’s brother, someone’s son, someone’s friend.
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