You're in a relationship but you're both leaving school, what do you do?

I would go with no attachments. Starting college is hard enough, carrying a long distance relationship makes it that much harder. That’s not to say you need to part on bad terms; but rather with an understanding that you’re both entering uncharted waters and need to be able to navigate which course is best for you.

I hate to be so cliché; but if it’s meant to be – it will happen. You’ll make efforts to be together and will naturally gravitate back to each other over time. But let that happen without unrealistic expectations and encumbrances. Best of luck to you!

Id hate to sound negative in any way but this has bad news written all over it.

When i was 17 i graduated High School and my GF of about 9 months was finishing her last year up. I was moving to Orlando unexpectedly from Miami (4 hr drive) and told her, she said she was willing to apply to a University here and move as well.

So i move up first and in a few weeks after her graduation she did follow and move into the same complex i live in (to this day we still live in the same complex).

After a few months of living in Orlando, things went bad and she ended up with someone else. Now im glad i didnt make the move for anyone, but she moved up here to supposedly be with me but found someone else in the process.

I just saw bythebay’s response and agree totally. Long distance relationships (which ive also tried, 4hr distance driving) didnt\doesnt usually work. Especially starting adulthood. Leave yourself open to every possibility.

yeah you will have more fun if you go with no commitments to anyone. Breaking up sucks but so do long distance relationships and they usually don’t last or work out. Even marriages struggle with long distances.
There is a saying that says distance makes the heart grow fonder, but my grandma would add to it, “of some one else”.

My take on it is that unless you have a concrete plan for how you’re going to get back together after college, you should end the relationship. Long distance relationships tend to be 3/4 fantasy, 1/4 reality, and if you’ve only been together for 11 months, then sustaining a successful and happy long-distance relationship for four years probably isn’t in the cards—especially as you’ll both be in college and meeting lots of new people, some of whom you’ll find attractive.

Even if you stay together the distance and new experiences can change a person or the way they feel towards another. Your interests might change as you make new friends and try new things and so might your partner’s to the point you aren’t connected any more.

I’ve tried two long distance relationships. One failed because of this problem and another because of (confirmed) suspicions of her not being loyal to our relationship.

Yeah I agree with what you guys are saying. Thing is my boyfriend wants to keep things going through uni which would be lovely but I don’t think is realistic. Whenever we’ve talked about it, which isn’t often, I end up being the bad one for “wanting to break up” which isn’t what I WANT to do at all.
Talking about it now is hard because it gives our relationship a September sell-by-date.
I just want to do the right thing for us both.

You’ll find that a lot of relationships in college will have expiration dates. It’s sad, but it’s a fact of life.

I think it’s best to ignore that fact that you will soon have to break up and wait until before you leave though and enjoy the time you have together now.

Your relationship may become something that prevents either of you from socializing and growing as a person in college.

I would say, break up, but keep in touch. That way you are both able to enjoy college. If you try to do long distance, odds are that you are gonna wind up fighting all the time because you wont see each other as often and you will be obliged to make 2 hr long phone calls.
Instead, just keep in touch occasionally, and who knows.. maybe later you’ll get back together

The break up doesn’t have to be acrimonious. You can both be melancholy about it, but also know it has to happen in order to avoid future pain and problems. If you do it that way, you may become friends. You can write to each other, maybe even give yourselves permission to talk about new relationships. That’s a hard one, because you will feel jealous, but then, you’ll feel jealous anyway. You will feel when the other person draws away. If you change it to friends, you have a better chance of keeping what’s good about your relationship, and making it through the inevitable jealousies.

This is just an idea. I’ve never done this, and don’t know anyone who has, and maybe it’s undoable, but maybe it’s worth trying. I just hate the sound of “breaking up,” and prefer the idea of rolling it over into a friendship.

Ok, thanks again for your responses.
@daloon Your idea about becoming friends struck a chord with me, and seems what I’d ultimately like to do. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with him for as long as possible, but I think when the time comes to move away, it seems like the best option, unless he hates me too much!

Not sure when we should start properly talking about it because I don’t want to bring it up now because that’ll just depress the both of us, but then leaving it too late would be bad too…

Hmmmm…

2 of my friends had the same problem.. they decided to break up and just be friends and that has been working out fine for them. He has a new girlfriend and she’s alright with that. College life is just so hectic that you won’t even have the time to think about your boyfriend in another state and you don’t want to be tied. You will meet a lot of wonderful and cool people there, so just make the best of it.